how do i move on

3/30/2009 12:53:04 AM	how do i move on
jjriley Rocky Comfort, MO age: 27	its been awhile since me and my ex wife have split up. shes already moved in with somebody else and moving on. thats fine with me but every time i talk to her i just keep tryin to start an argument about why she left me for him or why hes so much better me or something to that effect.somebody pleast help me. i want to move on. its been a few months now and ive met a few people online but its just a never ending battle tryin to get over her. we were together 10 years and married for 6. got 2 kids together too. how do i move on???
3/30/2009 12:56:51 AM	how do i move on
3asygoing Tacoma, WA age: 40	Man it isnt gonna stop hurting over night. Try prayer if you can manage it, pray for her and pray for the best for her. Seems stupid as hell but it works, A wise man told me to do that and I came out fine 10 years ago and I am happier then a pig in shit now. Pray for her for 30 days evaluate how you feel now and then go back read it and see if there is a difference. If it doesnt work you can still keep your misery as long as you want , it works I did it so can you.
3/30/2009 12:59:30 AM	how do i move on
bbw46reader Frederick, MD age: 46 online now!	That's good advice, right there. Talking about it with someone who understands can help. Crying helps (but you didn't hear it from me).
3/30/2009 1:00:59 AM	how do i move on
jjriley Rocky Comfort, MO age: 27	thnx brother i really appreciate that. ill try
3/30/2009 5:23:45 AM	how do i move on
wiz333 Lakewood, OH age: 51	Quote from 3asygoing: Man it isnt gonna stop hurting over night. Try prayer if you can manage it, pray for her and pray for the best for her. Seems stupid as hell but it works, A wise man told me to do that and I came out fine 10 years ago and I am happier then a pig in shit now. Pray for her for 30 days evaluate how you feel now and then go back read it and see if there is a difference. If it doesnt work you can still keep your misery as long as you want , it works I did it so can you. There's no improving on that advice. I do have a thought on this. You seem to be seeking closuer as well as being hurt...absolutely normal. But I think you have to resolve yourself to the fact that her being with him is all the closuer you're going to get. You know something? He's not better than you. She left you for him? Did she lie to him about being married? If not, he knowingly took another man's wife. When he looks inside himself, and he eventually will, he will NOT like what he sees. How do I know this? I've been that man, and it ain't pretty. You can hold hold your head high knowing the sins of those two, is not a breech of integrity for which YOU have to answer. All the best to you friend.
3/30/2009 5:26:32 AM	how do i move on
leftyl8 Waverly, NY age: 44	the best way to get over someone, is to get under another.....
3/30/2009 5:42:42 AM	how do i move on
pirana01 Navarre, FL age: 50	Unfortunately you will never get an answer from her that you will accept and understand. It is hard to accept and understand why someone we love has left us for another. She will always be a part of your life now, you need a way to find peace with yourself to be able to move on. It takes time to do that, and it sucks because you will hurt during that time.
3/30/2009 5:48:41 AM	how do i move on
breathlessinmi Swartz Creek, MI age: 48 online now!	Quote from jjriley: its been awhile since me and my ex wife have split up. shes already moved in with somebody else and moving on. thats fine with me but every time i talk to her i just keep tryin to start an argument about why she left me for him or why hes so much better me or something to that effect.somebody pleast help me. i want to move on. its been a few months now and ive met a few people online but its just a never ending battle tryin to get over her. we were together 10 years and married for 6. got 2 kids together too. how do i move on??? What I finally had to do is avoid my ex for a while. Not seeing him made my anger go away, or at least gave me the time I needed to make it go away. I was the same as you, every time I saw him I just wanted to beat the &%$#@ out of him. But that doesn't do anyone any good. Keep in mind you need to take care of YOU and if that means avoiding them for a while then so be it. I can now actually be in the same room as him and his new wife without feeling so angry. And I have now moved on, which is so great for me now. You will be happier and certainly healthier for doing it. As far as how much time will it take, well everyone is different, but if you keep being around her the feelings will keep coming up. Back away for a while, trust me you WILL feel better and be able to move on. Good luck to you! [Edited 3/30/2009 5:49:44 AM PST]
3/30/2009 6:59:38 AM	how do i move on
forestrose Calgary, AB age: 56	It is not always possible to 'process' what happened and why with the other person. I'm like you in that I really need to know, but sometimes you just have to let it go without that. Besides, she is very likely to say things that will be 'your fault' so she is absolved and justified in what she did. As to him being better, he isn't, he's just different, and chances are, not even that different, as humans tend to gravitate toward the familiar. And your issue isn't with him anyway - 'she' is the one who knew she was married, and left you. Don't even go there - who's a better man - it's a non-issue. It has worked for me to write out my thoughts and feelings - sad, angry, lonely, venomous - in a journal. It's a way to get out the feelings, and over time, you will probably see less intensity. And keep yourself as busy as you can, get out among people. Good luck.
3/30/2009 7:04:46 AM	how do i move on
wisegirl33 Queensland Australia age: 44	I just thought that i would say hello to forestross - How are you ? Nice to see you again, Regards, wisegirl33 - 31 March 09 at 0007am Aest
3/30/2009 9:13:30 AM	how do i move on
eimi Jacksonville, FL age: 36	Quote from wiz333: There's no improving on that advice. I do have a thought on this. You seem to be seeking closuer as well as being hurt...absolutely normal. But I think you have to resolve yourself to the fact that her being with him is all the closuer you're going to get. You know something? He's not better than you. She left you for him? Did she lie to him about being married? If not, he knowingly took another man's wife. When he looks inside himself, and he eventually will, he will NOT like what he sees. How do I know this? I've been that man, and it ain't pretty. You can hold hold your head high knowing the sins of those two, is not a breech of integrity for which YOU have to answer. All the best to you friend. Op I am going to write you email because too long to post in forum. I think distance and the prayer advice was best given so far. Wiz I made my ex move out and separated due to abuse done to our kids. Rather then get help asap, while still married...another woman took him in. Your advice has helped me more then you can know even though it has been five years since I divorced him. He married her the moment our divorce was final. She didn't care what he had done etc. but our minds do stupid shit like...was she better then me...stuff I should know not to think. Can she help him where I couldn't...etc. Anyway it is good to know a time will come that she will have to look at herself and know what she did to my family. He did get treatment court ordered but she helped delay it and helped our break up where we are not even friends. Actually did me a favor but I didn't know it then. God Bless
3/30/2009 9:33:06 AM	how do i move on
nambrosia Fall River, MA age: 27	Quote from leftyl8: the best way to get over someone, is to get under another..... Why the heck do guys STILL believe that?!?!?!? wtf??? I broke up for the FINAL dang time with my daughters father years ago and it took me two years to even WANT to have sex with anyone. Even though everyone said it'd be the best way for me to feel better, honestly it wasn't helpful in the least. It was nerve wracking and awkward and not the least bit fun and I only did it because everyone INSISTED it'd make everything magically better and I was desperate for something to work. Left that situation feeling totally dirty and degraded and like complete shit. Not what I was going for. [Edited 3/30/2009 9:35:07 AM PST]
3/30/2009 11:26:49 AM	how do i move on
barbaraajo Reston, VA age: 52	TIME
3/30/2009 6:48:15 PM	how do i move on
the_tenacious_t Omaha, NE age: 26	I was 12 when I met my now husband. We have been married for 6 years. I was deeply in love with him until two years ago. He stopped being intimate. The last year it became an every 3mos thing. For a woman thats like a punch in the face...the point is this. I ended up kissing another man. He took me back. I kissed him because he wouldnt kiss me, I had to beg. We then became seperated. I slept with another man. Now he wants nothing to do with me. Get this he is wanting(but says he hasnt)to go & sleep w/who ever. Question: Why not me? I loved him & he never wanted me? I have no answers excpet for I know what you are going through. I wanted him so badly to want me & he still doesnt. I know I cheated but, I just wanted him to touch me again. Some people you can never get over. At least I can not imagine loving any one more. I have been told its a grieving process...so its a never ending. I think...
3/30/2009 7:03:32 PM	how do i move on
tryagaindj68 Evansville, IN age: 41	Moving on is like breaking an addiction. You need to hit rock bottom before you can bounce back. Find someone you can talk to: a friend, a counselor, your dog, anyone. Hit your pillow, scream til you lose your voice, whatever it takes. Get it all out. Then, focus on the problems you had with her. (There will be plenty of time for good memories when you're over her.) When you start thinking you might want her back, remind yourself about the problems, and you just might realize you don't want her back. When you can honestly tell yourself you wouldn't give a nickel for another one just like her, you're on the road to recovery.

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