Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???

11/11/2007 4:08:37 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
ayeshah Albuquerque, NM age: 30	I was talking to this man,that pursued me relentlessly and wouldn’t give up, we became friends and was talking for like a good year, Even with all my other drama,He was always there for me and was always giving me advise about men, now I’m like why not give him a chance and just exactly a month ago we started dating and it got pretty serious fast, anyhow , we seem to just keep arguing over minor stuff but it seem like he changed over night like I was his wife, He didn’t want me going no where or dressing a certain way, and than he wanted to try to control who I was hanging out with guy and or girls, and it seems liked he was for my kids but than when I couldn’t make time for him he made it seem and said why am I rejecting him and I came straight out and told home there are some things I’m willing to do for him, But when it comes to my girl’s aint no man coming before them and if in fact GOD/Allah is an m man that is the only one who ever will! So tell me what the heck is up with me and men, this one I thought I knew pretty well we was even friends for a while before he even told me he was falling in love with me or liked me and he’s like 13 yrs older than me so I thought he was done with the kids ish, yet I find my self fight about the stupidest things, For instance if I see marc Anthony on TV and ya’ll know I love him, he goes off for me commenting and making gesture about this celebrity, or any guy on or off TV, he wants all my time,mind you, but he also has a 14 yr old daughter and he puts her needs b4 anyone’s, mind you it’s a good thing but there are things a child shouldn’t be privy to and like I tell you all my kids are just that MY KIDS, I don't mixed them up in my BS with him , I hardly let him around my kids,,Why well here a some things : I don’t include them in GROWN folks business and don’t put them in the middle of my mess, they got enough on they plate but this little girl OHHHHHHHHHHHH she lucky she aint mines cuz she wouldn’t be telling me as she tells her dad: what he will/can or wont do...,wouldn’t be no talking back either or telling him where she’s going and what time she’ll be expected to be picked up,. or hitting me like she hits him and goes off if she cant get new clothes (even thou she gives em away) and tells him who can and can't come to his house, (i asked him for my DVD's back cuz i let him go and she came out the house and threw them at me ,i almost snatched her lil tail up and i gots a belt,) OMG i went off and went off on her dad too, i didnt yuell i just told her next time she better act like a child or get shut down like a the grown ass women she thinks she is and i tiold her dad to figure it out and call me when he has a handle on her) he keeps calling but i dont answer! any how you dont like what i said to her oh the heck well! She acts like she’s 25 instead of 14, and I know I am not one to talk but I am just like omg, I set her straight in front of her dad and he had nothing to say about it cuz he knew I was right but ever since than she’s been distance, (OH WELL) as much as I love kids and would never hurt any that aren’t mines (spankings) I did give her talking to, and good…, I want to know what do any of you think I could go on and on but ya’ll get bored and sick of my long questions and if you notice I’m not only asking for help with him but also with what to do with a blended family cuz last time I raised the kids from diapers until the became preteens and teenagers, and to this day the call me momma and respect me. So any advice for the next time I try to blend my family? TY to all who will TRY to HELP N for the smart azzes lol keep it up you give me something to laugh at everdaTY [Edited 11/11/2007 4:13:43 PM]
11/11/2007 4:20:44 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
falcon77 Eugene, OR age: 41	Sounds like there is trust issues or one or both of you are trying to control situations or change each other. It doesn't work and never will. You have your ideals of life (you made that clear) and he has his. Accept them, comunicate the issues, or move on. [Edited 11/11/2007 4:23:19 PM]
11/11/2007 6:49:42 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
mr_passion_2006 Texarkana, TX age: 45	yep my flower let hi go cause its clear there is an trust issue and another thing if he really want to be with you he should be lovein you not fighing with yeah
11/11/2007 7:29:23 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
sumbeach763 Columbia, SC age: 44	get out of that , you cant be who you are and be happy....... Believe you me, its going to get worse, Id get while you still have your right mind.....godd luck to you .....Hugs Beach
11/12/2007 4:15:58 AM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
novastar12 Artesia, NM age: 57	Be who you are; not who someone wants you to be. The man that accepts you as you are will be the one for you.
11/13/2007 9:01:15 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
coorslitegirl Clarks Summit, PA age: 42	My advice would be to run for this man. Way too contolling he needs to accept u for who u are and not try to change you. Stay true to yourself. He has major control issues. lol and goodluck!
11/13/2007 9:07:43 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
gator59 Las Vegas, NV age: 48	Dont look at me I didnt do it Seriously , trust is the issue you dont have it like was said run fast dont walk.
11/14/2007 3:21:09 AM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
bcsilozer Toms River, NJ age: 40	Yea...I agree with all of the above: Once a guy starts with that "Control" stuff (Don't wear this, don't talk to them, don't eat that, whatever) RUN FOR THE HILLS! I learned a long time ago: You gotta let people do what they wanna do...happiness will follow.
11/14/2007 8:42:45 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
frosticashes Linn, MO age: 24	if hes tryin to tell you who you can and cant hang out with and gettin pissed over comments made about a guy on tv thats low, hell thats pretty shallow on his half kids dont need to be exposed to that nor do you need to be around that yourself or like others have said you wont be happy youll end up qyite miserable in the long run
11/14/2007 10:32:31 PM	Wondering WTF is wrong with me and MEN???
4tune8 Fort Collins, CO age: 39	First red flag: You stated that he persued you relentlessly, under the guise of being your friend. Second, the dramatic switch in his personality. Third, attempting to control you. These are all major red flags indicitive of an abuser. In regards to the children... YOU ARE RIGHT. They should never be in the middle of the B.S. #1. He should be managing the discipline and as a 'step-parent' your role is striclty supportive. (for future reference) From what you have written, I do not see that he is fullfilling her needs as a child. A child needs boundaries and structure, a parent not a 'friend' or push over. I would highly suggest parenting classes for this man. From her behavior towards you it sounds like she is vying for attention from him, negative attention or otherwise. Children learn how to 'behave' basically from their parents. If she 'hits' you and your man doesn't have a problem with this...He doesn't have a problem with it. Get it? Get out. You and you're children have to be a priority. Leave skid marks kid!

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