I keep finding out that people that are users have an instinct about the truly kind people out there, like me, and I have often used the analogy that they "Smell it", lol. Most of us are just open right from the get go, so we don't make it too difficult for them to find us, and being the good people we are, we try to give people a chance. Whether their intentions are to simply use us as a general personality flaw or they actually set out intending to get whatever they can from a person then move on to the next, I have no idea, but it's irrelevent because the result is the same: it takes us longer and longer to open up and trust after each "breach of trust", and some of us may well end up permanently bitter. Most won't because that's not who we are, but some will.

The other thing is that it ends up being an exponential number of people possibly affected by being taken advantage of by a user. For example, I get used, and am bitter, and start dating before I am truly ready. A nice guy comes along, and as hard as I try, I can't open up enough, and he gets hurt, or worse, I'm just bitter. He's not ready, and dates a nice lady, but he's less nice because I hurt him. He hurts her...I date another, same thing, he's hurt, hurts the next, the new women, same thing, all because one user hurt a nice person. Maybe this answers the question "where are all the nice guys/gals?". Maybe many of them got burned and are not so nice anymore.