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5/12/2009 9:10:52 PM FB("bed buddy") vs Dating and then sex  
mariner67
Birmingham, AL
age: 42


Okay, another poster brought this up but I have some pretty good insight on this subject, so here it goes...

Long story short.
I met this woman and we became Friends With Benefits immediately. When I met her, I was looking for more, she apparently was not. Anyway, it worked for almost two years until she broke it off. I'll get back to that in a minute....

Now, the benefit from that was the pressure of when to have sex was over and done.

I mean come on, lets all be honest here. Visual perception is the first thing that draws us to someone.

Sex, plain and simple. It is not a matter of "if", its a matter of "when".

So your on here, at work, at a bar, at a store, or walking down the street and you see this someone and you think....DAMNNNN!! What is the first thing you think?! I will tell you what I think. I don't think "Does she have a good job, or a nice car, or a cool home, or whatthehellever...

I think: Holy Geronimo, man she turns me on!! You walk up to her with that "GOD I'D LIKE TO UNDRESS HER" look in your eyes, and you hope she returns that SAME look to you.

Now you women here, don't go all blush on me, cause you know its true. You all feel this way too when you run across a man that you are attracted to.

Now getting back to FB vs Dating and then sex.

This woman and I learned ALOT from each other once the pressure to have sex was over and gone. We already knew that about each other. We were on fire for each other and that could not be denied. What broke it for us was that she had 4 kids and I have 3, and that did not seem at that time a thing to start between us.

If I had it all to do over again, I would do it this way. There is NOTHING WRONG, and I repeat, NOTHING.........about having the hots for someone you have met that turns you on. That is what caught your eye in the first place.

Sex is so misplaced in a relationship. People don't have problems having sex, people have problems leading up to it, and even in a long marriage, keeping it going because of problems about arguments, cheating, money matters, stress, and complacency. Or plain ol boredom.

I don't want to have to jump thru a bunch of so called "hoops", like a trick dog, or spend years proving my worth just to have a woman want me in that way or be willing to give of herself that way.

That is not to say you should run out and be a man-wh*re, or a siren. Just, if you feel that way toward someone.....Its okay.

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5/12/2009 9:18:42 PM FB("bed buddy") vs Dating and then sex  
mariner67
Birmingham, AL
age: 42


One more thing, I'd actually like to know the percentage of how may good relationships started from sexual desire and sex early VERSUS those that started from "being rich so he is the one, or she is the one", being "popular - Trophy Wife, Trophy Husband" or some other reason than being sexually attractive and active towards one another.