| 11/22/2007 9:59:53 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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jondalar
Reno, NV
age: 53
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I'm talking about the fears (False expectations appearing real) the foolish things stuck in our heads that keep us from being open to the wonderful person wanting to be in our lives.
I have been looking at why I do not date more and I think on the surface I am afraid of being caught in something I cannot get out of. Sounds silly but if it is real in my head then it is real for me. I do not want to hurt anyone by rejecting them so I get into things I do not want to be in and feel like there is no way out.
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| 11/22/2007 10:06:42 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 62
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Although I have many answers for others, I have a hard time telling someone what I need. I have also never had a good relationship and I always wonder what part of that is my fault. Though they made it impossible to stay with them, I wonder if I am able to read people, men, good enough to trust what I feel. Also wonder if I will always be afraid to trust my own opinion.
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| 11/22/2007 10:13:13 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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jondalar
Reno, NV
age: 53
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We can waist a lot of time second guessing ourselves.
It really sucks knowing there is more fun out there to be had if we just did or thought something different.
There were times when I was sure of everything I did.
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| 11/22/2007 10:18:20 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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I am always afraid I won't be good enough. That he will reject me if I do something or I don't so why try. I am not rich enough, pretty enough, educated enough and the list goes on. Plus right now I am having a hard time and I am walking with a cane. Who wants an old heavy woman on a cane??
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| 11/22/2007 10:23:40 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 62
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I am satisfied with myself as far as that goes. I just am wary of my ability to make a reasonable decision if I can believe my feeling or am I so blinded by his words that I am not seeing reality.
There was a time that I too, Jon, thought I knew what was best for myself. But then again I thought I knew a lot of things that turned out not to be so.
I wonder if my not being able to trust so easy is also a way to just reject without taking a chance.
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| 11/22/2007 10:23:58 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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lawvixen
Oldsmar, FL
age: 54 online now!
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I am not afraid of anything in a relationship in that aspect..but I am very particular and know exactly what I am seeking in a relationship, so when I get to that point of having a relationship there will be no fears. Now that you are totally confused, just know what you want, what to expect, and what you have had in the past.
Many who have entered the cyber world of online dating write a profile stating what they want the other sex to hear and not who they really are. All the "I am honest, passionate, loyal, caring" bullshit only goes so far in the 9,284 profiles I have read.
Those that write the cliched line profiles are the ones who are afraid to hurt other people's feelings so stick with the norm...I am afraid I don't care for those type, but that is me.
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| 11/23/2007 4:49:44 AM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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shezakeepher
Columbia, SC
age: 53
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Jon – I read somewhere that “reality can’t fight fantasy”. I think our false expectations have come from our fantasies. And from time to time we need to do a “reality check”. Too easily people on line come across as “perfect” and fill our fantasy of the “ideal soul mate” you meet them and reality sets in. Met a guy once that traveled a lot for a living, well educated, made a nice living, caring, loved life, he seems really great then I saw his car – the back seat was trashed from fast food bags left over from his travels.
My point being, there is that “perfect for us” person and we have a fantasy/expectation that gets in the way and we can’t see that “perfect for us” person. I hope I’m making sense.
queen,,, you hit on what I'm also troubled with. I don't trust myself these days. What I thought was lasting and real in my marriage, wasn't. A few relationships after the divorce didn't pan out and one reason is that I always see more of the good stuff in the person than meets the eye - what I mean is I focus on that and eventually the ugly parts will overtake and things fall through. The ugly might be they lack the capability to commit or to be up-front with what they really want in a relationship. So I think if a guy REALLY wants me he’ll have to hit me over the head to get the point across and his actions will mean more than his words.
Pkk – I have also gone through the “not good enough” phase. Point is – I got THROUGH it and see my worth and value. It comes from the Lord and no someone else or even my own idea’s of myself.
Just the journey of life and we’ll get there eventually if we don’t stand still.
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| 11/23/2007 6:49:45 AM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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herefromminsk
Charlottesville, VA
age: 70
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To put it bluntly, Death - It has been with me ever since I learned there was a Hell, back when I was 9 or 10 years old, that is 60 plus years, and it gets more nerve wracking as days go by. I know there are so many ramifications from just a simple being saved, to who will get to set on the right hand of Jesus in eternity (which is a loooooooooooooong time).
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| 11/23/2007 6:57:32 AM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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agent05949
Greenville, MI
age: 57
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Speaking purely for myself and my experiences...I believe that my outlook and cynicism from past Internet Dating interferes with me "not getting to excited" about this whole thing. Subsequently, my attitude is..'lets make friends" or chat via forums.
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| 11/23/2007 6:59:49 AM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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bluboy
Elsberry, MO
age: 56 online now!
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I'm not done reading this , but had to stop and give PKK a kick in the Butt.
Silly Little girl, YOU have SO much to offer.. Just be a little more careful who you give it to... Your one of the sweetie people on here my friend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later, Blu... Ok I go back and read the rest
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| 11/23/2007 12:54:08 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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Thanks Blu but being sweet can only get me so far. Where are the men that want me?
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| 11/23/2007 1:33:35 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53 online now!
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Agent..there is nothing wrong with the "lets be friends" attitude. Actually its quite healthy because that is the time when you find someone that will take you beyond friends..when you least expect it.
Fears? I cant say I have any..Im pretty secure in who I am and where I am in life. I believe things happen for a reason and that seems to take away any fears ..Be confident and dont worry..You have to beleive in youself before you can expect anyone else to believe in you.
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| 11/23/2007 2:07:33 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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butterfly58
Arcadia, MO
age: 58
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Can't say I'm afraid of anything and I'm sure of what I want to achieve. It's not perfection nor exactly all of my fantasies; but a surprise of looking at something that never occurred to me as being ideal. Now there will be detours, misconceptions, and disappointments along the way, I'm sure, but the key is to go into anything with your eyes wide open and enjoy the ride!!
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| 11/23/2007 2:08:38 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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lotsafuninpa
Tioga, PA
age: 66 online now!
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I almost always choose someone who needs fixed--in other words--someone w/ tons of problems.
It scares me that I may do that again,and i don't want to-----also I feel not as good as some other ladies.--When you look at a man's profile,and he has all of these beautiful ladies as friends--you wonder,why would he want me.
Another thing is I seem to be attracting men who only want s**. My profile gives them no reason to think that --so why do they??
Golly--I'm mixed up------lmao---------lotsafuninpa
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| 11/23/2007 2:15:48 PM |
What are you afriad of ? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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I can't say that I'm truly afraid of anything as far as dating and relationships go. I have had some beautiful relationships in my past and it is those that makes me eager to find the one to last me a lifetime. I'm not afraid of rejection as I feel that it is their loss. I have only been in love ( in the true sense) once in my life and he passed away. Because of him, I know that I can genuinely be loved and that I can love 200%
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