Do you blame others...

11/25/2007 1:55:16 PM	Do you blame others...
shezakeepher Columbia, SC age: 53	The way I understand the question do I blame others for the happiness or lack of in my life, short comings in my relationships or job. i.e. ONLY examples, not necessarily my case. Do I blame my parents for my failed marriage because they were divorced and my step-father was an abusive alcoholic? Do I blame my ex or ex bf for low self esteem that effect my everyday confidence in myself that interfere with developing good relationships? Do I blame a co-worker because I did not landing that great job or excelling in the one I have? Regardless of my circumstances I have the choice to react in any given situation to the best of my ability. I may not always make the right choices and a negative consequence might be the result of that choice either way it was MY choice no one else’s, the buck stops here. We can’t control others or what is done wrongly to us, all we can control is how we react. My answer to the original question is no I do not blame others, two of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt “no one can make you unhappy without your permission” and Abe L “you are as happy as you allow yourself to be”. BTW Abe suffered from depression.
11/25/2007 1:55:56 PM	Do you blame others...
bluboy Elsberry, MO age: 56 online now!	This is not were I was going with the question.... But: "so if somebody stole from you then ran around and talked crap about you to make themselves look inocent,that would be your fault?" WOW, I know this did not REAL happen!!!! But lets break it down in two parts and then as a whole. 1) "somebody stole from you". No way to justify stealing !!!! Some would say, if I was walking around flashing a roll of $100 bills, I was asking for it.. 2) "talked crap about you" It's sure not your fault and you have no control over IT. How you react and allow it to changes your life, is and would be. In its whole and if it was true: Something is going on here.. If it happen to me. I would wonder what I did to cause someone to do this to me. Its not just someone getting robbed, there's a history and a reason for this to happen to me. Later, Blu
11/25/2007 2:00:22 PM	Do you blame others...
shezakeepher Columbia, SC age: 53	sorry Blu..... I misunderstood. ..... ........ carry on Blu Chap
11/25/2007 2:07:20 PM	Do you blame others...
shell523 Port Byron, IL age: 53	Repeat after me: I can not control others nor can I control their actions. You can only control what you will or won't take from another. It is easy to get into a rut with your loved one but sometimes you have to step back and see if changes need to be made, maybe even on both your parts to keep a relation going strong. These are my words of wisdom for today. Minsk-better lay off those moonpies to much sugar for your body I would be sick too. LOL Hope you get better and learn from the moonpie mistake. LOL LOL [Edited 11/25/2007 2:08:12 PM]
11/25/2007 2:38:42 PM	Do you blame others...
bluboy Elsberry, MO age: 56 online now!	Stargazzer: Very true.. One way we could look at it is.. Let the best person in the partnership make the suggestion out of knowledge or abilities. But TWO should make the decision out of respect and that is 50+50 = 100% There is also different valves on some issues... I find it must more important, what my daughter took when she was sick. Then what kind of oil goes in the car.. This time it was a stock to buy. She tracks and knows stocks and I agreed. 75% her, 25% me. We both share the blessing, 100% which is dividend by 2 = 50% Tomorrow the car broke down and I say we need a new car and quit putting money in the junk. She respects my knowledge on cars and says OK.. 75% Me + 25 her% = 100% dividend by 2 = 50%.. Plus she get to drive the new car, because I would want it that way... Just making a point, but I always believed we two are one. SURE THIS DOESN"T MAKE ME WRIGHT, just another way to look at things.. Later, Blu : Be Happy, Safe and many Blessing
11/25/2007 2:44:30 PM	Do you blame others...
bluboy Elsberry, MO age: 56 online now!	Shezakeeper: Sorry about what ? Was it your fault that I didn't write the question very clear.. And thanks for sharing !!!!!!!!!! Beside, you had something to say and I want to hear it !!! Minsk, if I normal eat 4 moonpies and only eat 2, Can I say, I'm on a diet... Later, Blu [Edited 11/25/2007 2:48:49 PM]
11/25/2007 3:08:03 PM	Do you blame others...
shezakeepher Columbia, SC age: 53	Blu ..... "I" ASSumed I understood instead of making sure "I" was clear on the question. and we all know what happens when we ASSume!!!
11/25/2007 5:37:38 PM	Do you blame others...
bluboy Elsberry, MO age: 56 online now!	Blu's Rules: And your were RIGHT, as you read it !!!!! Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, beliefs and experence's in life. A Few more of Blu's rules, I have found useful over the years . I will past on to my friends... 1) Every time my mate or myself say we're sorry, you owe the other a kiss. 2) All arguments are to be done in the nude!!!!! Are you sure, you want to argue with me on this one... Later, Blu: Be HAppy, Safe and many Blessings. [Edited 11/25/2007 5:39:30 PM]
11/25/2007 5:57:03 PM	Do you blame others...
shezakeepher Columbia, SC age: 53	That is soooo funny ....... argue in the nude. I did have a bf and if we clashed, we would end up that way anyway. It was the damnest thing. I've never had that happen with anyone else. tmi
11/25/2007 11:54:41 PM	Do you blame others...
sereneinlife Mountain View, MO age: 55	shezaaaaaaaaa,,omg,, sorry about that,,, had that happen to me too she was`a 4 and i was`a 5 ,,i think,, never mind my mom blamed the doctor for dropping me on my head,,i was`a around 4 second`s old back then on the serious side,i have no one nor do i blame GOD ::for all i`ve done in this life,, and by his grace i`ve learned he has forgiven me long before i started to learn to forgive myself,,sometimes when i get depressed,i would like to feel that someone has wronged me but i know in the end it was just me trying to control,,people,places or thing`s..but by the grace of GOD he blesses me with some sanity,,this is why i chose the serene in life for me..i have to remember when i point at someone, that there`s 4 pointing back at me..
11/26/2007 12:34:10 AM	Do you blame others...
elfiegirl Jacksonville, FL age: 53	Very good one "serene" Yeah, it would be easier to blame others, but what good would that do? Some people are users & abusers...it's on them, and is true that it is all how we handle it. As soon as I recognized what was happened, and depending on the situation, I either tried talking it out, or I got out of the situation when it was called for. I can only place the blame IF they were the "offender" then... I was done, and moved on. I made all my own choices. I blame myself for believing and trusting in the wrong people. I know I am not responsible for the actions of others. This is what happens when you have a big heart. Sometimes people take advantage of it. I cannot stop being myself, I will just be more discerning in the future. My conscience is clear in how I have always treated people, so I don't regret my past mistakes, just the people I trusted who broke that love & trust. I have no bitter feelings, and forgive others, so moving on has been easy for me. But to sit around dwelling on the negatives is useless. I make a conscious choice to be happy regardless. Life is good!
11/26/2007 1:32:01 AM	Do you blame others...
lostinwyoming Evanston, WY age: 50	i like that elfie,good one.
11/26/2007 1:32:08 AM	Do you blame others...
margiane Pittsburgh, PA age: 51	you are so right. blaming others only hurts you and you can dwell on it untill it makes you sick, it is our choice on how to handle it. we can chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.
11/26/2007 3:35:46 AM	Do you blame others...
shezakeepher Columbia, SC age: 53	Wood I think it's called getting the "Serenity Prayer" down pat. Elfie, you put that well.
11/26/2007 5:40:03 AM	Do you blame others...
sereneinlife Mountain View, MO age: 55	sheza,, right on the serenity prayer,, and talk the talk & walk the walk thank`s you`re a good one also you too elf, lady,, [Edited 11/26/2007 5:42:11 AM]

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