| 12/3/2007 6:48:49 PM |
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cottagebithec
Utica, NY
age: 60
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Just want you to know we (others here) understand.
When someone you love dies.
It is so damn hard. It is so much pain. What you feel now is what you feel now. It comes in waves, like the ocean, and overpowers us when we least expect it.
We can't get away from the pain.. we want to run from it, we want someone, something to help stop it, to take it away, to bring us comfort.
I never experienced that level of pain in my entire life... and you're all feeling the same.
I'm sorry it's like this, but if somehow your pain could be taken away and you did not go through it... your healing would never come.
Please know that strength is not "going on as if things are normal". Strength is having the courage to feel this pain and grieve in any way you want! Don't let anyone take your grief away! It is a heartbreaking process we have to work through to be able to move on and be healthy, for you see we are "ill", with this grief.
[Edited 12/3/2007 6:50:12 PM]
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| 12/5/2007 11:22:50 AM |
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sunshineusa
Paradise, CA
age: 54
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iam new to online from some one else a found you profile and started to read .in ca. not a lot of discussion or blogs. i thank when you lost someone if someone past away or leave it hurts not sure witch one hurts more one your mad the other your are sad both hurts
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| 12/5/2007 5:36:41 PM |
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scatkat
Harlan, KY
age: 58
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Hi I am very new at this didn't know a sight like this was to be found happy to find it. I have been a widow since 2003. My husband went into the coalmine shortly after we were married in 1977 .We had two daughters that he spoiled rotten and they still are.he worked twenty years in the coalmine before he got sick with blacklung .he was the bravest person I have ever known we had 26 wonderful years togather and if it wasen't for sweet memories I just don't think I could make it through each day.I still have all of his belongings just can't seem to part with anything I cry every time I look at his boat that will probably never be used again. I know that loosing a spouse brings more hurt and heartache than anyone should have to bear.
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| 12/5/2007 8:12:43 PM |
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cottagebithec
Utica, NY
age: 60
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Sun & Scat... good to see you post here.
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| 12/6/2007 2:28:45 PM |
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williamcharles7
Culleoka, TN
age: 36
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My wife passed in June and I know she is gone but during many parts of my day in my life it just hits me all over again and its like, damn, shes gone and its like i am learning it for the first time. I dont understand this.
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| 12/6/2007 6:38:24 PM |
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star2angel
Dayton, NV
age: 54
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It is good to have someone talk about this topic. Until you lose someone very dear to you then there is no understanding. I know I never really understood the term widow before, until I lost my husband on Fathers Day of this year. At times the pain is almost unbearable, but then I think of the happy times that I shared with him and it helps. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and what we had planned for our future. I know I will always have this ache in my heart, but I would not of traded the last 5 years for nothing, for I finally knew what deep love meant. It is true that certain things that you see, hear or feel will remind you of that person, I cherish those feelings. The holidays are the worst as he loved Christmas, so this year I bought a small live tree that I named after him and I will always remember when I bought it. So to all the people who have lost someone dear to them please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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| 12/7/2007 8:26:33 AM |
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catdoll
Saint Charles, MO
age: 53
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the pain is unimaginable,it just hits you in the face and you realize,OH my god he died
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| 12/8/2007 1:43:48 PM |
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lynn1159
Farmington, MI
age: 60
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I am new here and I was married forty-two years, got married when I was seventeen. Husband got early-onset Alzheimers at fifty-one, I was 47 and for eleven years lived as if I did not belong in society. I was not widowed, divorced single, I was just there taking care of my husband. Thought I was ready for him to pass on (no more suffering for him) but after eleven years of taking care of him, I was not ready for this world as it is today. I am just now after three years ready to go out and hope to meet someone to share life with.
It is true time heals all wounds. I never believed it, but it is true. Stay busy and believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. You will come out of this a kinder, gentler, compassionate person ready to move on.
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| 12/8/2007 2:01:01 PM |
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scatkat
Harlan, KY
age: 58
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I have been reading all these posts and it really helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this And everyone has good advice. It helps to read about other people going through and having some of the same feelings I am.
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