| 8/14/2009 8:44:04 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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charlot
Tyrone, PA
age: 52
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Many years back, the great and talented Tom Waits sang a song with the line "Don't need to ask permission when I want to go out fishing...."
So I ask you, are you more likely to ask for permission or ask for forgiveness when you think what you're about to do may cause some waves in the relationship.
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| 8/14/2009 8:45:25 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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2balone
Meyersdale, PA
age: 51 online now!
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Dont you have to be in a relationship first.. 
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| 8/14/2009 8:46:46 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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charlot
Tyrone, PA
age: 52
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This is called pre-need planning
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| 8/14/2009 8:48:43 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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2balone
Meyersdale, PA
age: 51 online now!
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Not touching it,,, might scare someone with my answer.. I'm not asking permission or begging forgivess.. They should no me well enough by that time to know better.
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| 8/14/2009 10:21:18 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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kevinbarry
Christiana, PA
age: 65 online now!
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Many years back, the great and talented Tom Waits sang a song with the line "Don't need to ask permission when I want to go out fishing...."
So I ask you, are you more likely to ask for permission or ask for forgiveness when you think what you're about to do may cause some waves in the relationship.
Hey Charlot the Star Gazer.
That is somewhat of a trick question, I think.
I might want to do something that I would be better off asking my (currently) non-existent partner ahead of time for permission. That implies what I am doing is NOT wrong but maybe ill timed at best and I am hoping she will understand and support my desires.
On the other hand, if I was wanting to do something that I knew in advance would really rattle my partners cage, such as going to a Gentleman's club with a bunch of buds, seeking forgiveness after the fact would add insult to injury. Mainly because I intentionally did something I knew she would not have supported ahead of time and I did it anyway (to get my way) and expected her to accept my apology after the fact.
I know - way overanalytical. 
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| 8/15/2009 5:14:30 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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wolfin576
Ford City, PA
age: 52
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Most couples would already know if the other had something planned. Both need their time together and time away from each other. Know if plans for something else were going on and one went did what they wanted then a I'm Sorry would be in order.
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| 8/15/2009 5:41:51 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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charlot
Tyrone, PA
age: 52
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You all have valid opinions here. Thank you. Actually the question, phrased a smidge differently, was one used in job interviews I've conducted over the years. Truly, there CAN be no right or wrong answers although there MAY be in any particular situation.
 It just is a self-discovery tool for me.
I tend to remain my independent self  , but am always aware of hurting someones feelings or stepping on toes Never want that to be the case. I think it's a matter of give and take.
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| 8/15/2009 6:54:19 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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chek1678
Halifax, PA
age: 64 online now!
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Not touching it,,, might scare someone with my answer.. I'm not asking permission or begging forgivess.. They should no me well enough by that time to know better.
Charlot....you did make this statement...."This is called pre-need planning".... I do like and agree with "2balone's" statement..."I'm not asking permission or begging forgiveness.. They should know me well enough by that time to know better."
Giving the situation of dating......Knowledge of the other person is most important. Through this knowledge we gain insight, can understand their needs to be them self, or what they may need to feel balanced in the every day trials of life. We "should" respect those needs of that person as a potential partner or partner. We also have a responsibility as a potential partner or partner to allow them to fulfill that need. Anything less, I would consider control at this point. Just out of respect, I might ask if they would not mind if I went but I will not beg for that permission nor ask for forgiveness because I went, especially if you know me/her well enough by that time and have trust in that person.
I do understand that each situation maybe different, etc., going out with the boys and should be handled appropriately.
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| 8/15/2009 7:44:07 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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charlot
Tyrone, PA
age: 52
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Charlot....you did make this statement...."This is called pre-need planning".... I do like and agree with "2balone's" statement..."I'm not asking permission or begging forgiveness.. They should know me well enough by that time to know better."
Giving the situation of dating......Knowledge of the other person is most important. Through this knowledge we gain insight, can understand their needs to be them self, or what they may need to feel balanced in the every day trials of life. We "should" respect those needs of that person as a potential partner or partner. We also have a responsibility as a potential partner or partner to allow them to fulfill that need. Anything less, I would consider control at this point. Just out of respect, I might ask if they would not mind if I went but I will not beg for that permission nor ask for forgiveness because I went, especially if you know me/her well enough by that time and have trust in that person.
I do understand that each situation maybe different, etc., going out with the boys and should be handled appropriately.
I am now the one asking for forgiveness, my post is not meant to cover every issue of relating to others in a black and white way. I truly do feel you and 2balone are on the same page as I, we all agree in give and take appropriately to a given situation WITH respect.
This is just a "what's your first initial feeling" kind of question, without fear of retribution, anger or finger pointing. And it is asking not begging. I feel there is a big difference in those two words. Thanks.
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| 8/15/2009 9:08:51 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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kevinbarry
Christiana, PA
age: 65 online now!
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I am fully awake now and now that I have slept on this post I would like to take another shot.
If your relationship is solid, no begging is necessary. A simple "I forgot to let you know or I couldn't get a hold of you" goes a long way - but only if those words ring true.
And if you want to do something, you are not asking or getting permission as much as checking both of your schedules.
Several posters made the wonderful point that time away from each other is both necessary and healthy. In my profile I make it clear that I need time to catch up with buds for an occassional coffee, lunch or even a beer. If someone does not agree with that, I would not be comfortable in a relationship with that person.
But, all of that said, if the get-a-way time is disproportionate, i.e. one person fishing, hunting, hiking every weekend, while the other is home doing everything else, then the relationship is DOOMED.
The key, and it took me this long to get here, IS balance.
Both of you know what events, things, people fit or do not fit in your relationship.
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| 8/15/2009 9:41:34 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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rrrsmile
York, PA
age: 45
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Hmmm, I think you need to give the other person a heads up.
Me: Hey, Suzzy and I are going up to Ct this fall to check out the fall colors and do some shopping. Would you like me bring you something back?
Him: Have a great time...pat on butt...here is 300.00 enjoy yourself.
Sorry sometimes fantasy and reality get confused in my head.....
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| 8/15/2009 9:46:32 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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charlot
Tyrone, PA
age: 52
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Hmmm, I think you need to give the other person a heads up.
Me: Hey, Suzzy and I are going up to Ct this fall to check out the fall colors and do some shopping. Would you like me bring you something back?
Him: Have a great time...pat on butt...here is 300.00 enjoy yourself.
Sorry sometimes fantasy and reality get confused in my head.....
And aren't we all thankful for the imagination we posess Thanks
and Kevin, Your words make perfect sense to me.
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| 8/15/2009 2:51:54 PM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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lookinleo
Warminster, PA
age: 52
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well i feel that letting the other person know is important just to keep the relationship going is the key. asking permission or forgivness should not be an issue if the two of you are comfortable and then there is the trust thing why would you need either. if that is something you feel is needed you may want to reevaluate your relationship
[Edited 8/15/2009 2:52:51 PM PST]
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| 8/16/2009 5:45:52 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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bill71951
Saltsburg, PA
age: 58
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If you're in a good relationship and you know each other well, then there shouldn't be a need for permission.
If it's something you both enjoy and the other missed out because you didn't tell them first then there might be something wrong with the relationship.
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| 8/16/2009 6:26:34 AM |
Permission to go fishing? |
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shm18013
Bangor, PA
age: 62
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If you're in a good relationship and you know each other well, then there shouldn't be a need for permission.
If it's something you both enjoy and the other missed out because you didn't tell them first then there might be something wrong with the relationship.
I agree, Just let your partner know that this is what you want to do with your time off. Most people need their down and alone time.
One of my best friends who has been married for 42 yrs has girls week-end when her husband goes to Maine hunting. She is always says he comes home bringing his smile back.
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