| 8/28/2009 12:08:01 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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goods61
Euclid, OH
age: 49
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In my first turn around the dating block things seemed to be fairly simple and I am not sure if it has to do that I dated in Germany or if it is more age related. Back then I was in my early/mid 20's when I dated, the guys had no problem with calling when they said they would, no problem makeing sure we both knew that we were exclusive and in general letting me know that they cared/loved me and all expected and got the same in return from me. There was no problem making time to see each other and wanting to see each other.
Now I got divorced here in the States and have entered the dating zoo again in my 40's and everything seems to be different. If you call too often it's not ok, you don't get calls when you were told you would. People date god knows how many people at the same time and there always seems to be that quest for that elusive 'perfect' model of a partner. Yet if I am not 'attentative' ( I won't even get into what that is supposed to mean )enough thats not ok either.
By the way I tried to not make this gender specific because I am sure I am not the only one that has come across this.
What's up with dating now??? <<< That is essentially my question because it confuses the daylights out of me
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| 8/28/2009 12:48:39 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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deutsch09
Cleveland, OH
age: 52
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oh I'm with you so much on this. I hate the stupid games. nothing is cut and dry anymore,and too many women are friend collectors with no intent of it going any further.
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| 8/28/2009 1:37:36 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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sb1229
Cleveland, OH
age: 45
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I think as we get older we get more set in our ways. And because of this, neither party wants to "change." Give a little, get a little, right? Not so easy as we age.  JMO
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| 8/28/2009 1:38:44 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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derbydriver4evr
Cincinnati, OH
age: 42
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| 8/28/2009 1:57:39 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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goods61
Euclid, OH
age: 49
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Agreed SB everyone should give a little which would be perfectly fine by me. I am more then willing to do that, heck usually I give a lot more then a little because when I date I give it my all but I don't think you should change or ask anyone to change, we are who we are that is what makes us individuals. I just can't believe that there could be so many out there that constantly move the dating boundaries.
For example, I can deal with someone saying... hey I am really busy can you call me in 2 days..thats cool. But I have a bit of a problem with someone saying, hey call me in a couple of days...you call after 2 you're clingy, you wait 3 you're standoffish (these are just examples).
Another good one is, I'll call you tomorrow... yet you don't get a call until a week later.  
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| 8/28/2009 4:25:25 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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cinisky
Ft Mitchell, KY
age: 48
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I think as we get older we get more set in our ways. And because of this, neither party wants to "change."
Give a little, get a little, right? Not so easy as we age.
You hit the nail on the head.
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| 8/28/2009 5:09:05 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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iamtam
Pemberville, OH
age: 53
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I think we get more set in our ways as we get older. But I also think we change as we mature, our wants and needs are different, too. Dating when you're over fifty is different than dating when you're in your twenties.
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| 8/28/2009 5:22:11 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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gentlebear1949
Wooster, OH
age: 60
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I think we get more set in our ways as we get older. But I also think we change as we mature, our wants and needs are different, too. Dating when you're over fifty is different than dating when you're in your twenties.
I would'nt know.............
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| 8/28/2009 5:57:19 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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iamtam
Pemberville, OH
age: 53
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I would'nt know........ .....
Aw, gentlebear.  I don't know why you wouldn't know, because you seem alright to me. 
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| 8/28/2009 6:43:12 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
age: 47
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I don't date, If I meet someone then I meet them, If it works then I go with it and will show her what love is all about, if it don't work then hell, I'm back to just looking and meeting.
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| 8/28/2009 7:34:35 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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goods61
Euclid, OH
age: 49
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That's pretty much what I do now...meet, so far nothing has panned out. So I figure I am not what they want, sure gets lonely though at times.
And I agree our needs and wants are different then when we were in our 20's but at the same time so have our partners yet it's still damn near impossible to find someone that wants the same thing you do..which is ultimately a relationship.
[Edited 8/28/2009 7:37:02 PM PST]
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| 8/29/2009 10:04:22 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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romantic4life
Toledo, OH
age: 48
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There are too many games being played in the dating arena, now. There are some days when I simply don't want to waste my time on dating again, since I've learned that if a man says he will call, 95% of the time, he doesn't. So, what's the point? Another factor I'm seeing is the "I'll pretend I like you, when I don't syndrome". Instead of being honest about it, some mislead people, which is absolutely wrong.
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| 8/30/2009 12:16:56 PM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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sms1798
Akron, OH
age: 50
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There are too many games being played in the dating arena, now. There are some days when I simply don't want to waste my time on dating again, since I've learned that if a man says he will call, 95% of the time, he doesn't. So, what's the point? Another factor I'm seeing is the "I'll pretend I like you, when I don't syndrome". Instead of being honest about it, some mislead people, which is absolutely wrong.
I want to let you in on this; the games been goin on since Adam and Eve! We just dont pay attention to em when we dont have to! People are still using people. The pretend thing is for attention. The person is trying to get someone else's attention by pretending to like someone else. Apply the power struggle theory here. Cat and mouse,etc. the games have been here all along just a different day, same old place.
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| 8/31/2009 10:23:09 AM |
American dating that has me baffled |
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nunbttr
Middletown, OH
age: 63
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That's pretty much what I do now...meet, so far nothing has panned out. So I figure I am not what they want, sure gets lonely though at times.
And I agree our needs and wants are different then when we were in our 20's but at the same time so have our partners yet it's still damn near impossible to find someone that wants the same thing you do..which is ultimately a relationship.
First of all, 28 yrs ago, you probably met your potential date in person. You already knew, if there was a connection, before you even agreed to a date with him.
Now, you're on the internet. Yes, the rules have changed. The expectations are still the same, but, you will still have to meet just as many people before you find one that interests you. People are more into 'instant gratification' now, it seems. They are not as likely to give the relationship a chance. And, since they don't want to hurt your feelings, it is just easier for them to not call. It happened 28 years ago, the same way. You just didn't notice it, because, if they weren't interested, they just didn't ask you out, to begin with. Before, you did it in person. Now, you're doing it on the internet. Relax, you'll find him.....
[Edited 8/31/2009 10:27:38 AM PST]
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