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Forums: Relationships: I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do
12/16/2007 5:27:44 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

temptations89
Billings, MT
age: 18

 I tend to date black or hispanic guys but i have family that is extremely against it. What do i do? What do i say? I'm very family oriented so i don't wanna lose that and i'm very attracted to other races and that won't change. Can any body tell me how to handle this? Or if you ever been in the same situation how'd you deal?
12/16/2007 5:33:32 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

osoroho
Mesquite, TX
age: 57

 Think about it your relationships or your family. Choose wisely
12/16/2007 6:06:35 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

elizarvs
Abilene, TX
age: 31

 I have the same problem in my family. I am the same way, but I like all men. I tell my family it is my life, if you love me you will accept me and the person I'm dating.

12/16/2007 6:17:58 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

bubbadt
Kennedy, NY
age: 65

 roho is right.
If y'all loved your families as much as you love yerselves,
youd re-think the grief you are imposing on them.
If you ever find a love other then self love. You will
then realize who loved you and who you turned your back on.
Blood is thicker than water.
Whats in your veins?
12/16/2007 6:21:45 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 51

 My second husband was another race, my father was against it, to the point he disowned me, and when he turned out to be an abuser I had no where to turn was told I got what I deserved, when my mother died in 2004 even though my husband and I had been divorced 6 years I was not notified of her death, it's now been 10 years ago that I married that man the marriage only lasted 6 months, I've lost a mother to breast cancer, and a father and 2 brothers because they are racists, I haven't talked too, seen or even had word of my father or brothers in those 10 years will be in March.

Think about it, whats more important having the love of you family or the love of a man that may not be around for the rest of your life.
12/16/2007 6:27:46 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47 online now!

 You cannot help who you love, and you cannot change everyone beliefs that they have had their whole lives. I do believe you and your family can find a way to at least be civil with each other. This will be a decision you will have to make with your partner, and your family, be adults, talk about it, find out and address everyones concerns, it can be don. Trust me they are your family, and you have been their daughter for 18 years, I choose a doubt they will stop loving you in one day because you choose to be with a man of a different race.
12/16/2007 8:30:05 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

onthemount
Mount Holly, NJ
age: 38

 it gets easier with time. the problem you don't want to hurt your family. yet you don't want to be unhappy. that's where you have to be strong. it's not your responsibility to make your family happy. it's not there responsibility to make you happy. so make yourself happy. stand up to your family, respectfully. this is who i am. this is who i like. we're human beings. this is what makes me happy. then ask them if they care about your happiness. true family members will never leave you. it's not an easy path. think of your happiness yet care about family and loved ones. it gets easier with time.
12/16/2007 8:36:05 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41

 True grace, I dont know what kind of family love that is if they disowned you for somethinglike that. To be kicked out of the family for falling in love?
I dont know, bubba, I know blood is thicker than water, which is exactly why her family should have accepted her for who she is/was, not walked away from her. Unconditional love is supposed to be just that. No conditions. NOT, I will love you unless you stray from MY moral values and predjudices. THAT is not undconditional love. Its emotional blackmail. That kind of support is not the kind I would want or need. JMHO.
Family is who you are stuck with. Friends are the family your heart makes.
12/16/2007 8:50:00 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44 online now!

 To put it gently, I think you are screwed. Remember a family should always be you first choice. They are the ones that will stick behind you and back you up through out your entire life. Boyfriends will come and go. Your family will always be there unless they get so mad as to disown you.
Maybe you should talk to your family on a one to one basis and try to get them to see what makes you happy. Maybe, just maybe they will come around and accept the fact that you like other races. Maybe you can be the one that puts an end to their prejudice. It wont be easy, but it's worth a try if your heart is truly in it.

Take baby steps. Break it to them slowly bit by bit over time.



[Edited 12/16/2007 9:41:56 PM]
12/16/2007 9:16:05 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

jbsd78
San Diego, CA
age: 29

 You have to wonder why your family doesn't want to see you happy, or is elevating their desires (or discriminatory preferences) over the desire to see you content.

Have you had a serious and direct discussion with them about it, while maintaining your composure?

If they can't come up with logical and rational answers when you ask them about this (and I doubt they will), maybe you need to make some hard choices, and maybe you'll see that the kind of family support they're seemingly providing you is too conditional.
12/16/2007 9:44:07 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

iwantyou_2
Lubbock, TX
age: 41

 Anyone who will give up your family for another, without the blessings of all involved including exes, are setting themselves up for disaster...Its takes an extended family to keep things in order! I too am a father of a 15 year old daughter...I can't even fatham what I have in store for me...But I pray to God everyday that I have instilled the values in her that will help her prosper everyday of her life!
12/16/2007 9:45:58 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49 online now!

 I have not an intelligent response for this thread, I choose to date only within my race. So I really dont know what I could say to assist you....JMO
12/16/2007 9:48:11 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46 online now!

 I have been disowned by my family because of my 2nd marriage. He is white but because they didn't like him this was their way of control. If I didn't marry him I would be controlled by my family but since I did marry him then I lost my family. I divorced my 2nd husband so either way I haven't lost anything. People who love shouldn't try to control. Love should be unconditional ... period.
12/16/2007 9:51:30 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

andrew8402
Grove City, PA
age: 23

 im sorry but im with the family i have interracial firends somr of my best firends are black but i do not think it is right to date like that but if u must think about the kids if u have them there r ppl who will never see them as ppl and i know ppl r evil and that hate for the wrong thing but it is the way we r so if not for the family or for your self do it for the kids u might have if u keep dating how u date but it is all up to u and do what make u happy not all your family will stop talking to u i hope but that r your blook and that only r doing what thay think is the beast for u
12/16/2007 9:52:08 PM I have interracial relationships but my family is racist. What do i do  

classyguy333
West Fargo, ND
age: 56 online now!

 You could be having the problem that, no matter whom you are seeing they won't like it. Sort of like "they will never be good enough for you" attitude. (On their part, that is.)

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