turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

12/12/2009 11:31:37 PM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

blindndeaf
Over 2,000 Posts (2,803)

Wellsville, PA
age: 35

1. Downright ignorant!!

2. So your looking for your own whats the big deal?

3. You really should give them a chance, see where it leads

4. It;s someone elses tab you dont want to pick it up..

5. Not fair at all.

6. Your answer here.

Do you think it is ignorant and selfish to turn someone down, regardless of age, based on the reason being that they already have kids and you are interested in having your own family? Totally and soley based on the reason that they have kids. Whether grown or still at home. Strictly based on the reason that you want your own family. Regardless of how they look how cool they are or how great of a person they are. Just based on the fact they have kids.

Meet singles in your area here at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free for everything! Join now!

12/12/2009 11:35:57 PM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

blindndeaf
Over 2,000 Posts (2,803)

Wellsville, PA
age: 35

I just think it would complicate things too quickly.

12/12/2009 11:40:59 PM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

smilin4adream10
Verona, PA
age: 45

It would have to be up the individual as to what he or she is looking for. We all should be forward, upfront and honest. But I also know that this is not always the case. Read my one blog about 44 almost 45. I have a funny feeling am going to be here for a looooooooooong time!

12/13/2009 8:26:44 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

misiri
Pottstown, PA
age: 39

I have a son. He has a father. His father isnt around and I prefer it that way. Even though, I would never even consider looking for a replacement. I am a great Mom AND DAD. I also have relatives that are great male role models for him. If a person passed me by because I am a mother, I really wouldnt want to be with that kind of person anyway. I'm sure most women on this site are here for the same reasons as everyone else. Either to make friends, date, possibly even a potential relationship. NOT to find a FATHER for their children. If they are, they will be easy to spot, you can count on it. Besides, its not like we would bring our kids on our dates with us, lol. I personally wouldnt even consider introducing my child to anyone I dated. I think that type of thing should be reserved for a time when both people decide that they want to take things a little further than a few dates.

Surprising enough, I have noticed that there are ALOT of men on this site that are single fathers with their children living with THEM. That would not deter me in anyway of contacting them if I were interested. Like I said, if they were looking for another parent to help raise their children, they would be easy to spot. Actually, if I ran across a man who had his children living with him, I would think he was a really special person b/c it isnt easy for either a man OR woman to be single parent. It would definately warrant my immediate respect.

ON THE OTHER HAND, if a man or woman does not wish to have a family or date anyone with children, thats ok, too. Its best that they do pass that person up b/c it could cause many problems and resentments, among other things. Some people just dont like kids. Everyone has a right to their likes and dislikes. The downside to that is that they could be missing a chance of a lifetime to meet that special person that theyve been searching for. That would be a shame because true love is not easy to find.

Thanks for the post and listening to my long-winded opinion.

12/13/2009 10:39:42 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

butterflies0709
Catawissa, PA
age: 37

If someone wants their own kids and passes me by because I have kids thats fine with me. I dont want to have any more children of my own and if he doesnt want my kids, please do pass me by.

12/13/2009 10:15:18 PM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

swm3kids
Altoona, PA
age: 35

I am a single father with sole custody of all three of my children..We have not seen or heard from their mother in almost 11 years...With that being said, whenever I meet someone for the first time, it is the very first thing I tell them because my kids and I go together, If they want to be with me then they need to want to be with my children also!! I don't take offense to anyone saying or telling me they don't want to be with me because of the fact that I have kids. Myself I love children and I would never turn anyone down just because they have children..If and when I do meet someone who is willing to share in my family that I already have I am hoping that maybe her and I can also have a child together to call our own.

12/14/2009 3:58:33 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

stumppy

Bath, PA
age: 64

I suppose, like anyone else, have my own unique slant on this issue. My 2nd wife had two preteen children when we began dating again, and they had just turned teens at the time of our marriage. After 6 mos. of married "bliss", I realized my new wife had prostituted herself marrying me, her former fathers of her children were not helping support their children, she refused to get a job, (she needed a break after 15 years of working)(? ! ?), expected me to support her children, at the expense of mine, kept telling me that whatever I do for my children, I should equally do for hers, while she slept till 10 or 11, that I ought to be a good guy and make up for all the neglect her 2 had suffered. After the eventual divorce from her, I've had mothers ask me where I banked, How much property I owned, what my net worth was, Did I have any significant stock or treasury holdings. I quit dating, because the rest of the mothers were gonna do it all by themselves, all at the expense of the relationship. My question to them was, "why are you dating?" The answers left me uneasy.

My profile, now says, "don't know", and I don't, it all depends on my assessment of the mother, and how much this old fart is willing to tolerate.

[Edited 12/14/2009 4:00:36 AM PST]

12/14/2009 7:29:50 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

nance416
Lebanon, PA
age: 58

Wow, I am so dissappointed in you men and women who would not consider the other because of children when you are young. These children were not asked to be born, remember when you have sex you take the chance of making a baby, hopefully for the good reason. I get so upset with these dead beat so called moms and dads. I did child care in my home for many years. I watched, cared, loved every one of these children and most of them were lacking one parent. I give you single parents a pat on the back and a big hug for what you are doing. But if you dont want to date someone who has younger children, then shame on you, these children no matter what the family situation is deserve to be shown love from some one other than just the single parent. The are not freaks! They are Gods children given to us as gifts for actions that we made a choice to act upon at one time or another. Love them as if they are your own, cuddle them as you would yours.

I was a foster child and lived in an orphanage and in foster care. These people who took care of me showed me love, taught me love, not just to receive it but to share it with others. Because of them, I am who I am today!

Life is tough enough without hurting these children and their single parents. They have been hurt enough......so my thought is if you dont want kids then stay away from those that have but if you have some little piece of love within you then share it with that child.

For me, I am 58, I dont want children that are young and still at home. I am ready for retirement soon and now is my time to enjoy life. I have done my part of raising children and others too. But I would welcome their adult children into my life, not to be their parent but to be their friend. I would respect them as I should hope that they too would respect me.

12/14/2009 7:58:41 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

mowboss54

Springdale, PA
age: 63

I would have had to be a pretty shallow person when I got married the second time if I didnt like his kids. I had 2 kids under 10 and always thought I would have no chance at marriage because I had them. The first time I met No. 2 he asked me out for a date and I informed him that I had kids and would have to stay home with them. He let out this big sigh of relief like I had taken the weight off his shoulders. He was afraid to tell me he had any because he had been rejected so many times because of it. I told him that if I expected him to accept mine it was only fair that I accept his. Once we made that date to get the kids together we had no worries. The shoes fit in all the right places.

12/14/2009 1:45:06 PM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

blindndeaf
Over 2,000 Posts (2,803)

Wellsville, PA
age: 35

Wow all great people and great thoughts on the subject. Although I dont have kids and would never turn someone down on this basis.... I asked this question so I could answer an email a friend had sent me. And what better place to get info and input then the kind and wonderful people of dh. Thanks folks

1/5/2010 7:46:39 AM

turning someone down because they already have kids regardless of age,

gem4gent
Saylorsburg, PA
age: 42

well at our ages , most of us have kids its part of life and if you care about some one that much there kids are part of them and should love there kids too.

over 40 listcrawler

listcrawler ts