| 5/4/2007 9:20:42 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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traci2006
Union City, TN
age: 23
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I would just like to know if there is really such a thing as being too clingy or is it just a way of telling the person your with that you really aren't interested in them anymore.I consider myself affectionate not clingy so how can you be too affectionate? Isn't that why you are in a relationship with someone in the first place.
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| 5/4/2007 9:26:09 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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mom1st
York, SC
age: 33
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I think that there is a difference between clingy and affectionate. I feel that being affectionate is good, showing that you love them, enjoy them, appreciate them, etc. I view clingy differently, that you (not you) are doing for different reasons, like treating them like property, so everyone knows that they are yours, jealousy, being stuck to them because you don't trust them. I believe that one can be affectionate without being clingy. Just my 2 cents.
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| 5/4/2007 9:37:32 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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traci2006
Union City, TN
age: 23
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thankyou for your comment
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| 5/4/2007 9:39:51 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 58
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and a good 2 cents! I agree!
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| 5/5/2007 1:41:49 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 65
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I see even more problems like you can't go anywhere without them cause they need you to entertain them. They need you to tell them every day that they are okay[ they need your praise like a child]. They have to have you watch what they watch on tv, can't read a book or nothing. When you get up from your chair you have to tell them where you are going, ie I am going to the bathroom, I am going to get a drink etc. They whine all the time like a 2 year old, why don't you love me as much as I love you, I don't feel good stay here with me etc.
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| 5/5/2007 6:12:18 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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newspring
Madison, SD
age: 56
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When one person describes another as too clingy, it may just be a personality difference, where another person might describe the too clingy one as very loving and affectionate. We all have our boundaries, where as one might find another's way of showing devotion as annoying, some one else might really love it.
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| 5/5/2007 6:15:54 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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nitaisahandful
Norfolk, VA
age: 56
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Throws in me two cent piece...
Affectionate touching is awesome...clingy you better RUN LIKE HADES...4 out of 10 relationships where either person is clingy will turn to stalking and violence. My ex, who is now in Hades where he belongs, at first was "clingy", it then turned into total dominance and total control with violent outbursts (whether genetic or drink/drug induced). I stayed 16 years because of total fear of what he would do if I left. I was right, when I finally could take no more, I left. Till and including the day he died (actually 20 minutes before he died he called stating he was on his way to kill us) he stalked and beat the heck out of me. NEVER laid a hand on the kids, only me. But, he had threatened to kill them if I ever left him. True to his word, after I left, he did make several attempts to hurt the kids, to the point that we went into hiding.
So, please be very careful.
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| 5/5/2007 7:44:56 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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psychdoc
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 50
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Falling in love can send you in a tizzy. It is common to suddenly develop deep emotional bonds and passionate feelings for someone. However, after the initial rush and excitement of a new romance has subsided, one partner may notice that the other's behaviour has changed significantly. Petty arguments become much more significant. He/she may become more demanding of your time and attention. Before you realize it, you may be caught in an unhealthy obsessive relationship.
Sometimes an obsession is just temporary and the relationship returns to normal, but other times the obsessed partner will exhibit signs of emotional instability and possessiveness.
Here are some warning signs of an obsessive (Clingy) relationship.
Need to keep in touch
It is not unusual for a couple to call each other frequently or send personal messages to each other throughout the day. But when one partner leaves numerous messages knowing that the other person is not at home to return them, you need to be careful. You may notice that your lover sends numerous emails in spite of meeting on a regular basis and if by chance you can't pick up his/her call your partner gets angry. Gifts may suddenly escalate in intimacy. You could be gifted expensive jewellery or intimate apparel. This is a sure sign that you're with an obsessed clingy partner.
Not respecting boundary lines
This is a classic warning sign during the non-committal dating phase. You might tell your partner not to call on your home line after 11 pm or not to visit you at work. The next day, he/she will suddenly call little past midnight disturbing your entire family. The problem is that often the person will think it is humorous to violate your rules. If your lover constantly doesn't respect your privacy or boundaries you have set, you need to keep an eye on him/her.
Snooping around
Obsessive clingy people often try to find out the as much as possible about their partners. It's alright if your lover asks family members about your childhood, but if he/she carries out online searches or seeks out friends for detailed interviews you should get worried. This can get creepy and it's best to get out of such a relationship.
Making mountains of molehills
When you are in a relationship with an obsessive clingy partner you may find that he/she turns small issues into big fights. The most common fights are generally over a partner's possessiveness. He/she may tell you not to speak to certain friends or ex-lovers. If you go somewhere without informing him/her, it may turn into a major argument. Initially it may, just seem as if your partner is jealous, but you will realise that his/her behaviour is something more serious.
Breaking-up
A break-up is a painful thing for almost all couples but for an obsessive partner it is almost fatal. Most obsessive clingy partners get even more emotional and passionate when relationships end. He/she may still call often and tell you how much he/she misses you. Sometimes they may stalk you and want to know about whom you are dating and where you are going. The best thing you can do in such a case is to suggest counselling before they hurt you or themselves. Obsession can be a bad mental illness, so it shouldn't be taken lightly
Where as.....affectionate...is just loving... touch feely kind of stuff.
hence the difference. .... so now you have 6 cents worth of advice
Doc
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| 5/5/2007 8:01:49 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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jondalar
Reno, NV
age: 56
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Hey Doc i need some help.
Bet you never heard that one before
Welcome to the sight and I hope you can have some fun as you dish out some wisdom too.
I have poor boundaries and often get into a position of friend and councelor that lead to intamacy with someone I really do not want to be in a relationship with. Can you recomend a book that could help me to be a helpful friend to others without letting it get to the point of them falling in love. The post on clingy may help too thanks. I have the Townsend and Cloud set of videos on boundaries but it did not seem to address that area.
Jondalar
editing spelling again
[Edited 5/5/2007 8:02:35 AM ]
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| 5/6/2007 6:07:47 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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yanisa
Ponca City, OK
age: 37
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imho clingy too me is when the person won't let you have any alone time, no matter what you do or where you go that person has too be there.
being affectionate is more like doing little things here and there for the one you love, like maybe opening a can of soda for em and putting it on the bathroom sink while they are in the tub,
or noticing the small changes they have made about themselves.
this is just my honest opinion on the subject
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| 5/6/2007 10:42:04 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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walt32
Duncan, OK
age: 32
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hte only time i thought it was to clingy was when i didnt have strong feelings toward the person when i really care about them i eat it up and love always being around them
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| 5/6/2007 11:34:47 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 65
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One of my exes wouldn't let me have friends and sometimes even complained my family took too much attention. I couldn't go anywhere except the grocery store without him.
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| 5/7/2007 1:53:30 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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jess1969
Amarillo, TX
age: 41
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After being in a ten year marriage that was one sided I wouldnt mind clingy. I would realy like to know what it feels like to have a woman truely fall head over hills in love with me.
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| 5/7/2007 6:52:55 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 65
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Maybe head over heels in love but believe me you don't want a clingy one if you like breathing.
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| 5/7/2007 7:08:31 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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shilowsmom
Beloit, WI
age: 56
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I would NEVER, EVER, be in a relationship with another "clingy" man. My kid's father was enough, I couldnt go to the store, would call me constantly at work, He even would follow me in the bathroom!! and just sit there!! AHHHHHHH he drove me NUTS! I picked up the toilet seat one time and asked him, "did he think the Tidy Bowl Man was in the toilet or something??" Boy that was a bad fight, I was being sarcastic! What was he being??
So now that I have rambled on, my answer to this is yes. There is such a thing a bring to clingy in a relationship.
Luann
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| 5/7/2007 7:20:24 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 46
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Man, that's just like having your noble faithful potlicker (dog) following you around everywhere.......'cept usually the dog will melt you with the big brown eyes. LOL I'm serious Shilows, that would drive me goofy.
[Edited 5/7/2007 7:20:57 AM ]
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| 5/7/2007 8:13:46 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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jojo05101
Brattleboro, VT
age: 44
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is it just a way of telling the person your with that you really aren't interested in them anymore
seems like by this your version of too clingy already clinches it, that too clingy says go away...yes?
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| 5/7/2007 11:04:17 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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soulcitywalker
Lexington, KY
age: 51
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"seems like by this your version of too clingy already clinches it, that too clingy says go away...yes?"
SCW: Not for me. But I associate "clingy" with "possessive: calling several times a day, overly affectionate in public (as if to proclaim "this is mine"), too much questioning, can't have friends of the opposite sex, etc.
[Edited 5/7/2007 11:05:32 AM ]
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| 5/7/2007 6:32:28 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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brocknct
Newcomerstown, OH
age: 33
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Yes ya can be too clingy...like this certain woman I know, that clings to this man, and that man, and that man, and ohh this one over here, and the one beside him, and erm well I could go on.
Other than that, I like clingy, erm as long as it's one man + one woman.
EDIT: Though I'd have to say I seem to view clingy as affection. Most everyonelses views on clingyness, I'd have to relabel annoyances. Though I am willing to be stalked, would be kinda cool for 20 minutes.
[Edited 5/7/2007 6:36:07 PM ]
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| 5/7/2007 9:08:51 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 65
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I in no way would ever consider hugging, kissing or lovable contact clingy. You can be affectionate without trying to control or possess another person.
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| 5/9/2007 11:34:45 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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lonelyinwrn
Warren, MI
age: 53
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Well, I have to admit that I've been accused of the clingy thing but all I can say is the woman who said it is alone now and spends all her time just talking on forums. Is that so much better then being with me? Frankly a person can't help but get frustrated....if you cling then they complain but if you give them space they say you can't commit!
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| 5/10/2007 7:04:08 AM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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x26wildcat
Naples, FL
age: 30
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There is a happy medium it is just hard for some people to find. I do not like a clingy man. I need space! I make my own decisions and I am not "on call" for anyone but my son. I like attention as much as anyone else but clingy is often interpreted as weak. I want to know that my man can stand alone with out me. He is with me by choice not by necessity.
Do you know what I mean.....?
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| 5/10/2007 12:03:29 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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copterdriver
Saint Matthews, SC
age: 58
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x26 I wouldn't think clingy would look bad on you... lol You gotta find you an old guy that appreciates an independent hot babe's outlook. You are playing with boys and you will always be just a toy... lol just kidding.
Stop admitting to that attraction will be your first step to losing those types.
Try: "Everywhere I go I meet the most intelligent men that are so sincere and like me for my brains and wit." Guarantee you will start meeting that very thing when you believe it's possible.
It is that easy, both ways. JMO
Copter
[Edited 5/10/2007 12:04:14 PM ]
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| 5/10/2007 1:52:39 PM |
Is it really such a thing as being too "clingy" |
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x26wildcat
Naples, FL
age: 30
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I wish it were that easy!
I think therefore it is....I wish!
But seriously you are on the right road, cognitively we control our outlook. Half full not half empty. I will try......
Thanks!
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