Why not a nice guy? 16

1/18/2008 7:09:29 PM	Why not a nice guy?
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	Remember it takes 2 to tango...Sometimes its easier to blame the other person for the relationship gone bad, than take some personal responsibility. I think its pretty fair to say both men and women both get treated like shit in some relationships. Not all men cheat, nor do all women cheat. Not all men are assholes, nor are all women btches. If you are not happy in a relationship, dont blame the other person for it, search within yourself and you will find happiness, if you cant find it within yourself you will not find it in another person. You can not rely on someone to make you happy and make you complete, however you can find someone to compliment you. It seems to me now days, people can not stand to be single, and think they can not be happy unless they are with someone. Call me strange, or just weird, but I can be just as happy single as I am in a relationship. There are some guys that complain because women are becoming to independent, but its almost like we have to. We have to learn to take care of ourselves and not rely on someone else doing everything for us. Maybe it was just the way I was raised. It was my Dad, who taught me how to bake, cook, garden, shoot a gun, do construction work~~shingle, build all kinds of shit, plumbing, electrical, taught me to use all sorts of power tools and gas powered toys, growing up I thought it was stupid learning all that. Now that I am older and have a tendancy to break more than I can fix, it sometimes comes in handy, yet it would be nice to have someone around to help me fix what I break, as I dont have much patience when it comes to fixing things. I also believe we search for a man who is like our father, or maybe that to is just me and of course no man will be just like "Dad", so we just settle and never find what we really deserve. Usually in the beginning of any relationship, every guy seems like the good guy, but that can quickly change in the blink of an eye. My past relationships have made me who I am, and got me where I am, when I look back on the past I do not regret anything. Unlike a lot of women I know will sleep with every Tom, Dck and Harry that comes along, I do not and will not sleep with just anyone. Maybe for the fact that at the age of 16 and was a virgin, I got raped at gun point by my best friends cousin, who told me if I ever told anyone he would come back to kill me. For the longest time I was affraid to be around guys including my own Dad and brother, but over time I dealt with the pain I was caused and moved on in life. I also realized how quick life could end, as my now ex husband tried to push me out of my car that I was driving because he was drunk. Than decided another time to hold a gun to my head while I was feeding our baby, because he was upset I was taking care of her and not making him lunch. The abuse in the marriage got to the point I was scared to sleep at night and I was to scared to leave. To this day I still find myself ducking or flintching when a guy raises his hand around me or moves to quick while standing around me. To be honest when I read the post for the first time, my first thought was "what a bunch of bullshit", a guy will only act like this for so long and usually acts like a nice guy to get in a womans pants. But I will keep an open mind, for the Nice guys out there that really are finishing last because they are getting looked over because the women are falling for the assholes.
1/18/2008 7:40:38 PM	Why not a nice guy?
koking30038 Lithonia, GA age: 26	Women really don't know what they have till we're gone. I have had plenty of women in my day and all the ones who dogged me out I dropped them. And all except 2 or 3 want me back to this day because I was what they wanted all along but they couldn't see it.
1/19/2008 4:58:39 PM	Why not a nice guy?
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and b*tching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart /funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. Many women claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete jerk now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
1/19/2008 5:05:08 PM	Why not a nice guy?
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	thank you missing out
1/20/2008 1:06:41 PM	Why not a nice guy?
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you. The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice. It's in the gentle words he whispers. The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It's how good a buddy he is with his kids. The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It's in how respected he is at home. The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits. It's in how tender he touches. The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest. It's in his Heart...that lies within his chest. The strength of a man isn't how many women he's loved. It's in how he can be true to one woman. The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It's in the burdens he can carry.

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