italiana719
Croton on Hudson, NY
age: 29
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I'm new to this site. Check out my profile. I'm sure it could be better.
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terbear1234
Kent, WA
age: 34
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Let's start with a better lit main pic. I love that you're smiling in it, but it is so dark! Do you have anyone who could help you take pics? Even a non-professional does better than self-portraits. It's worth it—even if you have to bribe them with brownies!
Take out all negativity—-it just brings down the mood of your profile. All of the guys that I know are looking for a happy girl, not one who's been burned by other guys (which we all have, but now is not the time to display that for all!)
Try to take out all of the “I”s—-it makes for a boring read. “I this. I that. I blah. I yadda.” Instead, try something like, “This sets my heart racing. That is something I've enjoyed since childhood. Blah is something best shared with that someone special. Do you yadda? I've always wanted to try, but have never had anyone to teach me.” See the difference?
Make sure you put a paragraph in there about the qualities you're looking for in a guy.
Separate all paragraph with an extra space for more comfortable reading.
Great job not going on about your son (something we're all tempted to do). Most guys will wonder the ages of your sons and how much you have them (full-time, not on weekend, whatever).
Any time you put “didn't say” for an answer, we always assume the worst. Fill in as many of the blanks as possible.
“I” is always capitalized.
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lalagniappe
Saint Francisville, LA
age: 40
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Hi Italiana,
You are attractive and have a nice smile, but your main pic could use some better lighting. Trash all the cell phone pics asap, the ones taken in the bathroom are extra tacky. Also, make sure to rotate your pics so that guys checking you out don't need to tilt their head to see you properly.
Break up that large wall of text into at least a couple of smaller paragraphs for easier reading, making sure to leave a blank row after each one. As Terbear mentioned, take out all the negativity and tighten up your spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
Also, tell the reader in a sentence or two what kind of man you are seeking. What traits and qualities you like most in a man?
Best of luck to you!
LL
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