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5/18/2010 1:19:51 PM Is this guy for real or not?  

luvbuckets
Rio Grande, NJ
age: 45


I have been seeing a guy 4 years younger then myself who has a steady job good looking, in shape, good sense of humor and seems sincere. However, he nhas no car and I cant figure out if he is dense ,stupid or just playing me.since neither of us have a car we havent done much together at all. when I had my own apt. he would come there. his living situation is with his mother sister, 17 year old daughter and his brother in law plus 2 kids.in a huge old house. He brought up the fact that he would like us to get a place together in the fall. I am not the type to be clingy or dog a man but I waited and questioned him about what he is doing to save and accomplish this so called goal. He had hardley anything to say. Also we just rode our bikes to a local club and he only put 2 dollars up on bar I put up 20.00 and winded up paying for both. We then left and went to walmart he picked out 2 cds and I picked out one and didnt offer to pay for mine.also he stays in a shed he built that has drums and we end up sleeping on a mat on the floor. gross. We have no place to go to hang out and he doesnt seem to have a real plan about anything. what should I do ladies?

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5/18/2010 2:18:11 PM Is this guy for real or not?  
utahgal1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,498)
Ogden, UT
age: 50


Obviously you don't like how he's behaving on about everything. He's obviously tight lipped about it as well. Why not sit him down and tell him to spill it or leave. You have so much going for yourself, Luv, honestly, you do.........don't let him drag you down with anything *financially, home, respect, dignity, emotion, etc.*

5/18/2010 2:37:34 PM Is this guy for real or not?  

luvbuckets
Rio Grande, NJ
age: 45


thanks ramona, I dont drive so I am not circulating much in the world. It makes me feel that my destiny is to be with a 79 year old man forever cause nothing has worked out.I know the answer really isnt about having a man or not but lately my sister and my other friend are getting married to millionaires and they have nothing over me. I cant believe my mother the other day said why would I ever want to leave her when yhis old man has really always nbeen there for me. that wouldnt be fair for him or me

5/18/2010 8:44:23 PM Is this guy for real or not?  
ms1958
Over 1,000 Posts (1,530)
Lobelville, TN
age: 52


sounds like he is up for adoption and needs a foster mom until
the paper work gets finished. Honey move on and don't take this
man to raise. Unless you can take him off your income tax and
that may be so if you are providing more than half. Get on that
bike an run unless this sugar mama stuff works for you. You are
45 yo a beautiful girl and so much to look forward too.



[Edited 5/18/2010 8:46:32 PM ]

5/19/2010 5:51:57 AM Is this guy for real or not?  

phina1
Over 2,000 Posts (3,560)
Walton, KY
age: 49


Quote from luvbuckets:
his living situation is with his mother sister, 17 year old daughter and his brother in law plus 2 kids in a huge old house.

He brought up the fact that he would like us to get a place together in the fall.

I am not the type to be clingy or dog a man but I waited and questioned him about what he is doing to save and accomplish this so called goal.

He had hardley anything to say.

also he stays in a shed he built that has drums and we end up sleeping on a mat on the floor.


- he's looking for a new meal ticket as he's tired of sleeping in a shed on the floor !

5/26/2010 7:43:44 AM Is this guy for real or not?  
animluvr
Metairie, LA
age: 35


Quote from utahgal1:
Obviously you don't like how he's behaving on about everything. He's obviously tight lipped about it as well. Why not sit him down and tell him to spill it or leave. You have so much going for yourself, Luv, honestly, you do.........don't let him drag you down with anything *financially, home, respect, dignity, emotion, etc.*


Yes, think this one over indeed.....


5/26/2010 7:40:07 PM Is this guy for real or not?  

lilome67
Mansfield, OH
age: 43


just walk away.......sorry that is just my opinion.



5/27/2010 5:58:30 AM Is this guy for real or not?  

luvbuckets
Rio Grande, NJ
age: 45


thanks ladies for replys I am so mentally a mess and really just want to live alone.I dont have family to turn to. I dont think the young man fully understands the mess I am in

5/28/2010 4:44:51 PM Is this guy for real or not?  

satinsky2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,672)
Charlotte, NC
age: 61


Sounds like he has no incentive to do better for himself, and he's looking for a woman to take care of him.

5/28/2010 5:57:02 PM Is this guy for real or not?  
utahgal1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,498)
Ogden, UT
age: 50


Why did you go back to the *old man*, Luv? Go to housing authority for their assistance to get into adequate housing for you........and, as for the young man.....leave him alone and take care of YOU! You don't need distractions, hon. Take care of YOU!!

5/28/2010 6:00:35 PM Is this guy for real or not?  
magyrod
Raleigh, NC
age: 44


Hello Ladies, Im a big believer in just saying whats on my mind & getting on with it.
if Its not appreciated then Im not sure I really want to be around people who dont respect my honesty and opinion....but hey! thats just me

5/29/2010 5:58:36 AM Is this guy for real or not?  

luvbuckets
Rio Grande, NJ
age: 45


Thanks ladies, utah, I only came back cause I had to leave my apt. by july anyway.So they gave back deposit and I have to save and figure out my next plan of action. I have been on assistance for 5 years and I know its time for me to get housing help however , from what I understand it takes a long time on waiting list to get into one of these buildings. Section 8 would be better but i cant figure out on computer how to apply for it. all this takes a lot of time doesnt it? I soo know I cant rely on a man but I had no place to go. the young man says he wants to get a pplace in the fall but I really need to help myself. That is 3 minths away. Can someone tell me the direct way to apply for this housing stuff?

5/29/2010 11:52:19 AM Is this guy for real or not?  
utahgal1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,498)
Ogden, UT
age: 50


Quote from luvbuckets:
Thanks ladies, utah, I only came back cause I had to leave my apt. by july anyway.So they gave back deposit and I have to save and figure out my next plan of action. I have been on assistance for 5 years and I know its time for me to get housing help however , from what I understand it takes a long time on waiting list to get into one of these buildings. Section 8 would be better but i cant figure out on computer how to apply for it. all this takes a lot of time doesnt it? I soo know I cant rely on a man but I had no place to go. the young man says he wants to get a pplace in the fall but I really need to help myself. That is 3 minths away. Can someone tell me the direct way to apply for this housing stuff?


Luv, go online and see this for yourself. Lots of resources that will help you get on the right track. Call them and explain your situation and get referred to nearby housing authority IMMEDIATELY. Once you get yourself situated......ask them for help with utilities and food stamps while you get some sort of training through Voc Rehab in your area *they will definitely help you as long as you are committed*. While you're in school do some volunteering work or get a part time job *less than 20 a week* This will all help you in the long run! R

http://www.njhousing.gov/