why are women so attracted to bad men??

1/20/2008 2:19:05 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	All women dream and talk about their Mr. Right’s, then they turn around and pick guys that are rude, crude and downright malevolence. I don’t understand why we go for these types of guys, it’s like we say one thing and turn right around and go for the other. women talk about how badly men treat them, how they cheat, how they use their fist instead of their mouths for a conversation, how cold they all are. I guess that it will never change, that is the way of life as far as men and women go, men show their aggressiveness, women get turned on by it, they're not looking for a nice guy that will love them, they want a party animal that will lie, cheat and deceive their way through a relationship. so why is it women are attracted or end up with these creeps???? what is a "good" guy and where are they??? Why do some guys act like "Mr. Nice" guy in the begining of a relationship, than do a complete 360 and become the asshole once they are "comfortable" in the relationship? I am guilty of this, and have realized this is the only kind of men that are attracted to me. Have decided I would rather spend the rest of my life single than in a relationship unhappy, abused and down right miserable. I haven't found my Mr. Right Just Mr. Rude Mr. He thinks he looks better than me and Mr. Gives a new meaning to P-I-G sad but true, it seems once youve been w/one asshole we seem to think all men are assholes and we keep looking under the same rock. if a person grew up in a abusive home they tend to find men that are abusive because that is what they seen all their life and they tend to think thats whats right. i to have wondered why i end up w/all the wrong guys, i have yet to be w/a man that has not been in trouble w/the law, hasnt abused me, hasnt lied to me and hasnt cheated on me. i think after being in at least 1 bad relationship and putting up w/abuse i figured i got what i deserved, that i didnt deserve a 'good' man. I soon realized I deserve better than that, I am not a doormat and I will no longer tolerate a man raising his hand to me or walkig all over me. I am a human being to, so damnit treat me like one!
1/20/2008 2:46:20 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
kaylakay07 Fremont, NE age: 18 online now!	No one deserves to be treated that way! Stand up for yourself!!!!! I'm one of the few who always go for the nice guys...
1/20/2008 3:21:31 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	you raise a good question its one I have wondered all along, The said part is as a man I fall into that nice guy category. The one to escort girls to the bar to keep creeps away take you home when your trashed and put you to bed and not think about or try to take advantage of you, get pissed and do something about it when I see a guy raise his hand at a woman, listen for hours to you vent, give a hug and tell you it is going to be alright, and yet I am still single WTF, However I have seen guys that I feel don't deserve a woman in their life run all over their woman and they adore that man. I still wonder if the two sayings that I despise so much are really the truth, "Every girl wants a bad boy", "Treat them (women) like shit and they will come running to you". WTF WTF what happened to the days of respect that used to be so present 20 years ago. I am not a deeply religious man but I was raised in church and in the bible there is a verse that goes something like this "Wives submit yourself to your husbands and husbands cherish and honor your wives." I can not figure out where lying and cheating on a woman fits into cherish and honor your wives maybe I am flat out missing to point or we have become so corrupt as a society that nothing is as it should be. Please feel free to enlighten me if you can
1/20/2008 3:36:48 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	seen this in the mans thread and though it is approite as I have seen some of me friend turn out thiss way if it affends sorry but there is a lot of truth in it here goes I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out. What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fcking treated you. At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease. Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?" Well, once again, you did. You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that. So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do: 1.) Build a time machine. 2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass. 3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it. I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you. If you were five years younger. So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fcked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't f*cking want you, now. Sincerely, A Recovering Nice Guy
1/20/2008 3:38:24 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	I wish I had the anwser, if I did, than I am sure I wouldnt be single and not attracting all the wrong types of men. Much respect to you for being one of the nice guys having to finish last. Good things do come to those that wait. Ok that reply is soooo the TRUTH, and the reminder is what much of us needed to see. Yup guilty here of having that nice guy "friend", and using the lame excuse "I dont want to lose the friendship". And your right if we look back a few years ago, it all makes sense. I always thought I wanted to be his friend, than his "nothing". And now I look more for having my "best" friend, as a partner in life. Maybe I did wake up and smell the roses, but its sad it took so long. Sometimes I did take the back seat, sorta speak, so my friends could have the good guys. There is 1 regret I have and that was allowing my "best" friend slip away, when I made the choice to move to Texas for another man, when I had the good one at the palm of my hand. Yea I did f*ck up and I can admitt to it, but sometimes we have to live and learn, and I am paying the price now. Two years passed since I let him go, and when I went back to Nebraska during the summer I wanted to call him up, but the thought hurt to much that I hurt him the first time, and felt I didnt deserve him. One thing I don't understand tho, when we have the good guys as friends, why they can not express their feelings that maybe they would like it to be more? What if we open our mouths and say how we feel, but they dont feel the same and decide to back off because they dont want to "hurt" us? It seems like a no win situation. [Edited 1/20/2008 3:50:52 PM]
1/20/2008 3:50:57 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
jason_white Deer Park, TX age: 19	nice guys win out in the end cause eventually those girls who liked the bad guys realieze they had a guy who cared for them all along as they had to do was look at the guy whose shoulder they cried on when there boyfriend did something bad or just see who it was that brought them home and held there hair out of their face when they couldnt... nice guys get married and have good realationships... bad guys end up being washed up players
1/21/2008 2:22:33 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
lkenneally89 Montgomery, NY age: 18 online now!	TELL ME ABOUT IT. i met a guy on here actually we hung out we really hit it off, or so i thought! and he turned out to be a complete d*ck. ive been beating myself up for two days for even contacting him again. i dont know how guys do it, but they can make themselves seem like mr.amazing and every girl will fall for it.
1/21/2008 3:30:16 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	you girls seem to look at the wrong things I will let in on a little secret very few of us that are good men will actually tell you that we stay in the lime light and deny about being Mr Perfect so we seem better than we say we are. The men who are out bragging about how good they are are the ones that are assholes so we let them sell themselves as Mr. Right when we know better. Next time you are out and about look around notice the guy over in the corner of the room the one that hasn't said a word or bought you a drink you may catch him look your way once or twice, that is the one you want to go over and say hi to. We stay in the shadows while some other slick, hip dressed, money spender, manicured "player" is doing everything he can to get in your pants. We see it time and time again and have gotten so fed up that we think to ourselves "she will pick that asshole long before she will give me the time of day." Argue about it if you want but sad to say it is the truth. Women are attracted to the guy you don't want your parents to meet for that very reason. Nice guys see no reason to try to compete with bad boys because we know the cards are already stacked against us. Instead we go back home and find some game to entertain us and wish that we had someone to be with and when we do if she has grown out of the bad boy phase she won't let us go for anything if she hasn't then under no condition will we take them back when she realizes that she f*ck out when she left or we ourselves turn into that bad boy that you left us for never to become the man that we once were. If you think Mr Right is just going to fall in your hands you are sadly mistaken. We are still out there in this world but don't look to the spotlight look behind it and you will find him. Want to know if someone is Mr. Right then you need to find a father figure or your best guy friend that can be brutally honest with you and talk to them we can pick out a bad boy in a heart beat. [Edited 1/21/2008 3:33:18 PM]
1/21/2008 4:36:24 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
missing_out Farmersville, TX age: 26	You are so right!! But I somewhat have to disagree on the part, the quiet guy in the corner is the one to go for. I tried that once, he sat across the room, he looked my way more than once and smiled, being the fool I am, got up ordered him a drink, walked it over to him, sat down and chatted to be laughed at and than some!! You are right about the guys that brag to be Mr. Nice guy, its kinda like the saying when guys brag about their d*cks, "guys who brag, lag". Why cant you guys just fall out of the sky or something, or come knock on my door? Or just come with an instruction manual or something!!
1/21/2008 6:19:54 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	we burn all instruction manuals as soon as they are printed, always printed in the wrong language any way. You want to know why we don't fall out of the sky I have been wondering why good women don't fall from the sky too? must be the terminal velocity thing
1/21/2008 6:32:15 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
sprinter90 Constantia, NY age: 28 online now!	for the same reason that this nice guy ends up with women that dump on him and treat him like an atm card... put me in her pocket and use me when she needs a few bucks. go figure
1/21/2008 6:35:50 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
liferator Statesville, NC age: 27 online now!	welcome to my world sprinter
1/21/2008 6:43:39 PM	why are women so attracted to bad men??
sprinter90 Constantia, NY age: 28 online now!	all my life i dreamed of sweeping a girl off her feet. i finally found her, i asked her out after hanging out with her almost daily for a couple years, expressed my feelings and basically got told that i would never be anything more than a pseudo girlfriend, blah. i hate that. nothing sucks worse than hurting from seeing someone you care about hurting and then her turning around and hurting you. id rather take a knife to the forehead.

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