| 1/21/2008 9:14:15 PM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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sondra1968
Mackey, IN
age: 40
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He hurt your feelings really bad from a prior phone call. So you don't call him or answer the phone and all of a sudden he leaves a message that say's "what's wrong, i haven't heard from you?" Next message: This is where he get's all pissed and say's "why aren't you answering your phone?" "why did you hang up on me the other day?Very rude." then this is at the end of that same message: "Well, if you don't want to be with me fine! But if you do then you know how to reach me." 
He was the one who said the hurtful things in the first place. You are trying to swallow and say something but you don't want him to know you are crying. So....you hang up.
Then the next message is: "Sorry i went off on you a little bit ago" then continues into what pissed him off AGAIN AND again then say's 'well... like i said you know how to reach me.'
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| 1/21/2008 9:18:25 PM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 48
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Maybe he didn't know he had hurt your feelings. And thought you were just avoiding him.
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| 1/21/2008 10:45:45 PM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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ladysilky_1
El Dorado, KS
age: 40
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One it sounds like he doesn't realize that you understood why he was upset in the first place and was not aware he was hurting your feelings and lastly, it does not sound like you have the problem... remember its not always about us... it might just be whats up with him.. make sure you let him know you understand him, and how he made you feel then let him know its his problem.. and you dont need to be attacked in that manner.. normal conversation works wonders.. ( he might be just unless he had real reasons to go off )
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| 1/21/2008 11:16:00 PM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44
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How's he going to apologize if you wont talk to him. Seems like you are hurting yourself as well as him. He's going to give up if you don't answer him.
I think you should tell him whats wrong and don't expect him to know. Miscommunication can kill a relationship pretty quickly.
Tell him, then kiss and make up.
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| 1/22/2008 12:10:10 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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sondra1968
Mackey, IN
age: 40
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Thanks guys for your input but the only thing is .....he acts as though the world owes him because he has been hurt. i'v been hurt too.(very badly) i'm very cautious and when i do let down that wall this is what i get? He can be a very romantic guy at times and then very rude to me when other things are going wrong. I try to compfort him and i get this shit like "you know i'm busy right now!" ok so you call me when you have time. and that is what he does as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place. 
  
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| 1/22/2008 3:54:57 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48
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Yes, but not talking to him to avoid a confrontation is not the problem either.
Does he know you feel hurt? You still haven't answered on whether you told at the time that he's said something that was hurtful and rude. And if he is that rude, then tell him that you can't take anymore of his attitude and his rudeness and you don't want to pursue a relationship with him. But don't avoid him.
Find your spine, girl and stop cowarding in the corner, your feelings count. And he's not going to know them if you don't let him have it.
Paris
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| 1/22/2008 8:13:07 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 60
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How long have you dated him? (full moon stage again, right now)
Is this a routine behavior?
Does he treat everyone like this over a period of time? Just his personality?
How does he treat the people that serve him in public.
the grocery store clerk?
The food server?
Does he elevate himself above the crowd..*like I am so important*? (I'm so busy)
Hurt feelings can be resolved with communication....
or they can continue on as a pattern of TREATMENT.
I would make every attempt to talk things out, and why this was hurtful.
If possible give it another shot,
and watch with eyes wide open....be prepared to finalize the relationship
if it his constant pattern..it will get worse.
Avoid negative people. Make yourself available for happiness.
All the best,
Wine
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| 1/22/2008 8:21:45 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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antonet
Custer, MI
age: 33
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Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and he sounds like he could be a blammer or very selfish as far as feelings go. I know, I have a boyfriend who does the same stupid shit. Good Luck!!!
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| 1/22/2008 8:26:56 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 48
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Gosh, after reading your post the second time, it seems to me that he is just tired of playing your games. Dutch is right. How can you two talk if you don't answer your phone or return his phone calls. Of course he is upset. And you have made it worse by not returning his calls. It reminds me of a relationship I use to have. A woman left me a disturbing message on my answering machine. I happened to be coming to the phone as she hung up. So I called right back. No answer. I was concerned. I called an hour later. In the course of a week I called 10 times. Still no answer or returned calls. I stopped calling after that week. 2 weeks later she called me and asked me where I have been. So, I asked her if she had recieved any of my calls. Her answer was yes....but she didn't feel like chatting.
So, I told her never to bother me again. I don't play games and I don't want people to play games with me.
You think you are avoiding a arguement by not answering the phone. But what you are really doing is showing him that you have no respect for him. Sounds to me like you are both better off without each other.
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| 1/22/2008 11:10:17 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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rmergy
Livingston, TX
age: 67
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We are supose to be adults on here. Adults communicate, negociate, and try to resolve their problems. Getting upset, arguing, fighting, and calling names are what children do when they are young. Then they run home to mommy. Avoiding a problem is not a solution. It is childish. You need to face the problem in a calm,cool, and collected fashion. Try to talk it through. If you can not find common ground then say goodby and move on. That is an adult way of handling your problems. 
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| 1/22/2008 11:25:34 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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midnight2005
Clarksburg, WV
age: 37
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I think you need to stop playing games with the phone calls. You know what you are doing by not answering. Answer the phone and either tell him off, or tell him you love him. And if you decide to keep him, you really need to talk about how he hurt you and get it in the open.
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| 1/22/2008 11:28:39 AM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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mzzzwright
El Dorado Hills, CA
age: 38 online now!
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The easiest way to commit relationship suicide, is to NOT communicate what's bothering you, and why. You hung up on him because you were crying. Fine. Afterward you refused to take his myriad of phone calls... NOT fine. It should be expected to escalate because of that. He vented, and then apologized... with no reciprocation on your part.... and then he got frustrated again.
The flip side: If he *truly* is the self righteous person that you say he is, then jettison him and never look back. ESPECIALLY if you have been terribly hurt before... Learn from past experience that this is NOT the way you want to be treated.
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| 1/22/2008 5:07:03 PM |
What about the one that calls all pissed off because..... |
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sondra1968
Mackey, IN
age: 40
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Thanks everyone this has helped and it looks as though i was in the wrong instead of him.
I really apprecieate all the imput.
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