silver_rain1011
Springfield, VA
age: 22
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Not concrete yet, but I was inspired, bare with me.
What I Cannot Ask
If I have ever cried for you,
Have you ever felt my tears?
If I have ever been cross
Could you see my sneers?
If I have ever dreamt of you,
I wonder if you’d know?
If I have ever thought of you
Could you feel it in your soul?
Do you ever lie awake at night
And wish that I was there?
Have you ever looked into my eyes
And seen that golden glare?
Have you ever wanted to say something
Your lips refused to speak?
Have you ever denied your heart
For fear that it would break?
Would you ever hold me like you love me
Even if you don’t?
Would you ever touch me like you care
Even when you won’t?
Would you ever plan to stay with me
No matter what becomes?
Would you ever kiss me like there’s no tomorrow
In case tomorrow never comes?
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collide64
Janesville, WI
age: 43
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Your inspiration is very deep, silver. Beautifully written and a way with words. I wish I could write like that. I've been wanting to write a poem for my daughter who is 21 and in the USAF. Our relationship has been strained as of late. You have just inspired me to try. It might take a couple (hundred) rough drafts. Bravo!
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
age: 44
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Nice, it flows well and you can feel the sentiment in it. Its not ssappy but it is heartfelt. I would almost wonder could it be put to music. I wish you the best and I hope the situation resolves in a way that enriches you and sustains you.
Don't worry about too much revising, that is the beauty of poetry it is your self-expression and it can be anything you want, said any way that you want.
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babygreeneyes12
Chicago, IL
age: 42
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I liked it, thnx for sharing
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goofynurse
Rolla, MO
age: 50 online now!
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Silver, it's very nice.... would make a good card, too.....
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cherokeerose07
Pottsboro, TX
age: 48
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passionplay1975
Arlington, TX
age: 32
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very nice!!! I like it a lot
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silver_rain1011
Springfield, VA
age: 22
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I don't know about the music thing. I've written a couple instrumental pieces (real short) before, I wouldn't even know which comes first: Music or the Lyrics? Their both hard, I admire anyone who can do it. I figure if I wrote music first, I'd have a hard time finding lyrics that say what I want them to and match with the notes. But on the other side starting with lyrics and writing music to match the word flow is even harder
But that's alright It's not a poem that's meant to be spoken, since it's everything I can't ask. Some of the rhymes are slant and such.
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