anniebug
Tulsa, OK
age: 50
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Whidbey, I coundn't have said it better. same from me Smalltown.
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annie_go_lately
Marshall, MO
age: 55
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smalltown...my situation was a little bit differant. i'm now 55. i 'm glad you're going to church... that's a good start. you're getting very good advice. so what i want to say is this... number one ...no matter what i'm about to say I BELEIVE IN GOD , ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL ,TILL THE DAY I TAKE MY LAST BREATH. i came from a family of ten children , three brothers and seven sisters. i was rasised in a very stricted christian home . my father was a minister of one of the "holy rollers" (lolo) church's . , but , my father was also the one that became "our molester " ...as well as our oldest brother, who was the oldest in the family.. he had raped our second to the oldest to him , sister and our fourth to the oldest sister to her. this whole ordeal , was a complete , long som- odd nightmare , that we , as children , had to go thru. most of us girls married young just in order to get out of the house away from our father and brother.my mother's health got to be very poor and her stomach full of ulcers...bleeding ones at that. why didn't she leave him? well.. back then ..you didn't hear much of that , but, more of FAITH . BUT..ANYHOW , BY THE TIME IT WAS MY TIME FOR ME TO MARRY ..I WAS THE SECOND FROM THE BABY . I TO MARRIED THE FIRST GUY THAT AFFORD MY HAND IN MARRAIGE. it was a disatar waiting to happen. we had four children. married ten years. he was a very mean abusive man. even though his abusiveness mainly came verbally ...there were some physically. by the time i got out of that marriage...i hated myself. what lowself esteem i did have... i lost it all. this man called me every name under the sun and then some. words that only he could have come from the pits of hell. after my divorce... i had countless relationships with men of all color. it didn't matter to me. i felt ugly ..worthless ..useless ..everything that my husband had called me, i was now acting it all out. finally , i met another man. he later asked me to marry me. of course i said yes. i had feelings for him. i thought he had the same for me. but , i was so wrong. this man would later prove to me, that my first husband, had nothing to come to what this man did. and he was very right!! he needly killed me ...by just missing me from a bullet with his own gun. one night , while on his drunk bends.. he held a gun to my head which seemed for a life time. another time i narrowly exscaped being throwned threw a store front window. finally after seven years of marriage , it was ended. you see hon....i had NO BODY THERE TO ADVICE ME WITH GOOD ADVICE AT A YOUNG AGE LIKE YOU. TAKE IT AND RUN WITH IT ...DON'T LOOK BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED "ALL" THAT YOUR LIFE NEEDS TO FIGHT FOR TO HAVE PERFECT FREEDOM FROM A MESSED UP "WOULD-BE" LIFE ..HAD YOU NOT HAD THE COUNCILING. P-L-E-A-S-E !!!!! 
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1pinkstar
Omaha, NE
age: 54
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luvlyleo
Smyrna, GA
age: 31
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Well sweetie i'm gonna keep it real! STOP LOOKING AND DO YOU! Your first step to healing is to FORGIVE THOSE BASTARDS!! Don't let your past have a hold on your present GOD will send you your KING when you least EXPECT!! Start demanding and stop takeing orders ITS ALL ABOUT YOU! and make it known and if they don't like it tell'em where to get OFF! Now don't get me wrong i'm not saying be mean to people that haven't hurt you, i'm just saying grow a backbone and don't allow yourself to be stomped on. YOU DO YOU, AND YOU MAKE THE DEMANDS FOR YOURSELF! LOVE YOURSELF, PAMPER YOURSELF, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WE ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT THIS LIFE.
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jondalar
Reno, NV
age: 53
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Healing from the past.
The healing takes many forms depending on your personality and the trauma.
This includes abuse, heartaches, divorce, breakups and loosing a job.
What is essential is to realize that your past is not you. Man is the only animal on the planet that beats him/herself up a thousand times for each mistake. People so often wear their past for all to see. Until a woman can heal from the violation of her personal boundaries or fortify her personal space, she often wears a sign that says, 'abuse me' by her body language that calls to all abusers saying loudly, "I will take it".
I visited a friend the other day and when I saw her daughter I recognized the signs loud and clear on her eleven year old girl. Despite the therapy she has received she is carrying a big sign and I hope she can lose it before she is a teen.
Begin to live who you are meant to be and do not wear the label of 'abused goods' That is a circumstance of your past like being born in a ghetto. It is hard to move beyond but truly beautiful when you do.
Love and Light,
Jondalar
[Edited 3/15/2008 10:42:48 AM]
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fryyyy
North Kingstown, RI
age: 48 online now!
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surround yourself with friends, dont worry about finding more, then someday mabye you will realize someone is more than a friend. Friends wont rape you choke you or abuse you. And never tolerate abuse, cus it only gets worse. If you run into someone that dosent respect you, walk away.
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