Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?

2/2/2008 10:18:13 PM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	This Is For Ladies Only I want a poll of how to softly tell a lady that I have been dating that I have finally found "The One" that I wish to give all my attention and love to. Keep in mind, that I wish to consider the feelings and emotions of the one that I am no longer going to have any relationship with, and that she has been important to me, and I sincerely care for her (or I wouldn't have been intimate with her), that we can no longer see each other, as I am a dedicated and faithful man to the woman that I have finally found true love with. This answer may solve a dilemma that I have had with past (long past) situations that have created hurt and anger with the final "goodbye" that inevitably must occur. It is never easy for a man, and twice as hard for a lady, that's why I am asking you ladies! Please, be nice, sincere, and put yourself in both positions before you answer.... This is a tough one to deal with, and I sincerely hope that I can trust you to be honest and forthright in each of your answers. Also, keep in mind that I have always been honest in letting any lady know that I was seeing others, and that I was being intimate with them as well. I never hold this back, as it has bitten me in the past, and I sincerely believe that honesty is still the "best( and only) policy" in seeing more than one lady at the same time. I know, you are thinking that I should only see one at a time, then go back to the "One" that I like the best, but that is impractical, as time is always the "enemy" and she will likely move on to other men in the meantime, and that is also another question that I don't want to cloud this issue. Answer the question from your emotional heart, and I will respect each response and take all of them in careful consideration. Up til now, I have silently (almost) monitored the many different threads and their content, but so far, have not seen many with any substantial content so as to address the inevitable differences in men's and lady's opinions to any degree of depth and reality. I hope that this one will bring about some useful comments and solutions to realize those differences. No offense, but life is cruel, and the ladies seem to take the brunt of the cruelty in most situations. Yes, I am somewhat of a feminist, and with good reason. 1. Should a man have one last "intimacy" with the lady that he is no longer going to see without actually telling her? And, just leave her to conclude that he is no longer interested? (Selfish and incincere) 2. Should he just be honest and tell her that he believes that he has finally found "The One" and that she is not her. This is bound to be tough, and takes a real man to deal with! I have tried this, and it is still really an emotional upheaval! 3. Should he not tell her in person (disrespect), and just call her to tell her it is over? (Be a Man, speak the truth!) 4. Should he just stop calling her, and leave it for her to conclude? (Chicken's way out) 5. Should he enjoy one last hot night with her to end the affair, and give her the chance to show him that she is "The One", and not the other lady? (Not fair to "The One") 6. Should he respect the "One" totally, and refuse to speak further with the other(s) he has been seeing? (Not fair to them?) 7. Should he be totally honest with each one that he has been seeing, and tell them that he has found the perfect match for him, and that he is sorry that she is not the one? (My personal preference, but not easy to pull off) I will appreciate careful and considerate answers to this very difficult dilemma, and hope that each response is from the heart, without anger or abusive language. I look forward to any suggestions that I have not covered by what I have listed............. I will refrain from comment for awhile, so as to get several different opinions, then I will respond with any appropriate possible scenarios as needed, or brought up for discussion. Thank You Ladies, One And All.......... EagleEyes7
2/2/2008 11:23:21 PM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
sweetsxywoman Vacaville, CA age: 44	I'm not sure what to tell you to do, not knowing the lady and her understanding of your relationship. Please don't do (4)Should he just stop calling her, and leave it for her to conclude? (Chicken's way out) This does not allow for closure for the other person. I had someone do that to me after dating for awhile and him telling me how much he really liked me and that he wanted to make a go of it. Told me he would call one day and never did again. He left me wondering what happened, was it something I said, I did, he didn't like my kids, did he find someone else. Please allow her to have closure and understanding about why you didn't want to see her anymore.
2/2/2008 11:36:45 PM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
superjelly Cumberland, KY age: 29	if you ar wanting to have sex with the other lady one last time then "the one"maybe isnt the one think about that [Edited 2/2/2008 11:37:13 PM]
2/2/2008 11:46:14 PM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
mollylynn Panama City Beach, FL age: 63	She doesn't have to know there is another perfect one. That hurts her self esteem too much. Just tel her a white lie or almost the truth that there is really not any chemistry with her as much as you have tried and given it every chance-so you are calling it quits. Makes it look like you don't have anything with her-which you don't..Makes you look like the bum...which you are. No sex....NONE...Just say good bye and wish her a great life.
2/3/2008 12:48:03 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	Hi Sweet, I see your point of view, and have tried to keep it as gentle as possible, but if there are many good aspects with the one you have to let go, it is difficult to be sincere and yet honest against her objective points as to how good you were together. Keep in mind, that the "other" ladies are very important in what they put into the relationship that you had with them, and they will be very hurt to learn that what I had with them was "just not good enough" to continue on.
2/3/2008 12:51:14 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
virgogidget Queensland Australia age: 53	Ok my 2 cents worth. First not number4. You got yourself into this. You owe All Ladies the truth and a goodbye The right way and thats not one last bed hop. How long has TheOne been the One? If it looked like it was getting serious you should of stopped seeing the other(s) be fore this. I hope All get Doctor checks including yourself. I am trying to be nice.
2/3/2008 12:53:27 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	Hi Super, Xlnt point, and I agree totally. BUT, sometimes passions and "guilt" in feeling that you did have something worthwhile get in the way of common sense. You make me consider that if I really had found "The One", why would I even think about compromising my ethics and emotions in a futile tryst, when it would only delay and demean the inevitable. Thanks for the insight!!
2/3/2008 1:07:39 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	Hi Virgo, Lots to consider. You definately have a strong point there. Yes, If I was seeing more than 2 ladies, I should be able to discern which one was the more suitable for me, and taper off on the others as soon as I was able to be sure of "The One's" importance to me. If it was only a recent discovery that "The One" was right for me, I would still be left with a decision on how to end the other situations with respect and consideration for the feelings of the ladies. I am a knowledgeable man, who is fully aware of all STD's, and survived way too many encounters throughout the 60's, 70's, and 80's all over the world. When HIV was created in a government lab (there is a patent # for it), I immediately became very cautious, and get a blood test at the VA every few months, if that answers your Q. I appreciate your being nice, and thank you for your restraint in calling me a promiscuis cad. I have really toned down my Scorpio sexuality since then, and now am just seeking one special lady to be my partner, lover, lifemate, and friend. I hope that answers your unspoken Q.
2/3/2008 1:25:15 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	Oh Molly, So, now I'm a bum. Well, you do have some interesting points. If I keep the other lady that I'm really committed to out of the quotient, then she will not feel that she was just not "good enough" comparatively to the othe one. Very insightful, and since I don't want to be a "bum", I should just end things matter of factly in total honesty that she and I aren't suitable for one another, from my point of view. I don't like to be a bum, and you should know that there are more ladies out there who are seeing more than 2 or 3 guys at the same time, than there are men. Fact, not fiction! Women are driven by genes, and the hidden drive to "procreate", and seek out the most virile male avialable, even if they cheat on thier husbands and boyfriends. I know what I say is fact, as I have done the research, read all of Kinsey, Masters & Johnson, Shere Hite, and a host of others that many of you have never heard of. I've got over 30 years of study into human sexuality from an erudite standpoint, and the stats bear me out totally. Women cheat far more than men!!! I'm just looking for input, ladies, so don't "Bum" me out~~~!! Please>
2/3/2008 1:25:56 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
fun_n_cheeky Queensland Australia age: 25 online now!	I'm just adding my vote to "no sex". I think it's importan to be honest, but not too honest. If that makes sense. So, sitting her down and talking about it gives her closure and she does feel like there was respect there in the relationship and you cared how she felt. At the same time, she is a grown woman, and dI think it's patronising to hide the other woman from her rather than saying "yes, there is someone else. I'm sorry, I didn't plan for it to work out like this." And also say that the relationship would have been ending with her even if you hadn't met your new lady friend. The better the closure, the better she'll be able to move on. Oh - and def don't tell the break-upee that the other one's the one. That's in the category of "too honest". Abd don't worry about seeming like a cad. It's important for you to be happy as well, though we should always try and minimise hurting others' feelings to get there. That's my 2 cents! Then again, I've not been married or anything. But I am an extremely sensitive soul. Good luck!!
2/3/2008 1:39:20 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
kasuku Renton, WA age: 27	hi i dont know if we are still on the topic of the one. but i had one question i have to ask. are you sure you have found the one. cause according to what i have read, you like sex and there is nothing wrong with that,just know that the (one) is the only one. so u ready to change your life pattern . and are u ready to face the dance of being completely with one person
2/3/2008 1:47:25 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
eagleeyes7 Fort Myers, FL age: 60 online now!	Thanks Cheeky, I knew I could expect some positive input from an Aussie bird. Yes, I've been there, mined opals in Perth, toured Canberra, and spent a few grand in Sidney while a Marine on R&R from the war in Vietnam. Dove the Great Barrier Reef too, and there's nothing like it in the world! I like what you said about being honest to a point, and giving her total closure. Makes good sense to give the relationship "finality" for her, as well ss me. So, let her know that I have met someone else, and wish to not lead her on as if she were the only one, and don't tell her that I have met "The One", to spare her a "crushing" loss, then tell her that she was important to me, and that I cared for her, but I didn't think that we had what it took to make it last forever? That makes a lot of sense to me, and seems to make for a more honest and truthful end to the relationship. Thanks for the input, Cheeky!
2/3/2008 6:02:33 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
truknlady63 Beebe, AR age: 44	I would't tell her there is someone else either because it would hurt her too much. Better to let her believe she was good but you want more and you enjoyed her company and her being there for you. I believe if it was me,I would rather be let down softly and knowing we still had a great friendship as the BEST relationships start from there right? I would be VERY appologetic and sincere to her and would show her that all the time you spent together WAS special but you aren't for her and she needs to find the better man,get it? Make her feel you don't think you are him and BE GENTLE!!!!! I would rather a guy was looking out for my best interests sincerely and didn't want to hurt me in the process as that is the BEST form of friendship we can have. And DO NOT have GOODBYE sex!!!!! WRONG,WRONG,WRONG!!!! You need to tell yourself you are COMMITED to this other woman and would feel VERY bad after you did that. I would for sure. Commitment starts at the first sign of true love,always!!!!!I can't be with anyone else when I am commited to one man even if things aren't as they should be between us. Sorry,being an adult has it's dilemas right? Good luck and if she is a real woman she will understand,if not then she wasn't the one to begin with. I always say" If it's meant to be,it will be". BEST WISHES ON YOUR SUCCESS BABE!!!! We all are hoping for the same thing here.
2/3/2008 6:46:49 AM	Ladies Only Please-What would you prefer to have happen if?
gonesailingbabe Des Moines, IA age: 44	Wow! Well so much was written there that I couldn't read any more. If you truly want some GOOD advice to start you off... download Lobo's "How can I tell her about you?" This is the mood to be thinking in.... Every woman has been with the wrong man when the right one comes along...or will have thought so... If you can touch her sensitive core and quietly and softly explain that to her - she's GOING TO BE hurt. But personally as a woman if I have truly CARED about the guy - then I'm going to want his happiness and I'll cope with my own hurt and wish him the best. Now all that being said... 1. If some asshole slept with me for the phenomenal sex and THEN told me? I'd probably grind his balls in the blender. 2. you're not going to face her to tell her this out of respect? Bullshit. You're afraid. You don't phone this message in. You don't write it. And good god don't send flowers, chocolates or love songs. Those are games that you guys come up with... We're not idiots - we're women. Be straight and be honest, be calm, be rational and so will she... If you didn't choose a woman to make love to that understands these things then you picked the wrong woman to sleep with in the 1st place. JMO

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