| 9/15/2010 7:36:16 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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barryw717
Byron, GA
age: 36
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My ex told a friend that the reason she was leaving me was because I was too nice to her. What do you think can you be too nice to someone?
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| 9/15/2010 7:40:43 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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dorval
Harrington Park, NJ
age: 55
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possibly some men do not understand that sometimes when women say a man is too nice she is actually saying he just may not be manly enough for her.........
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| 9/15/2010 7:42:58 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
age: 27
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Sounds like you were perceived as the doormat and she didn't want to feel like she was married to someone she could walk on. (I'm no expert as I'm single, but this is what I keep hearing.)
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| 9/15/2010 7:45:15 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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milo1234
Jacksonville, FL
age: 44
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If your always giving in or "being nice" then your partner can feel guilty and feel as if their not contributing.
It also results in you getting resentful over the longer term as you are neglecting your own needs.
In Lots of these cases its important that instead of being nice you assert yourself of your wants in a given situation and discuss it. This also helps because she learns more intimate details by you opening up and about what motivates your thinking. She will also know you have a pair. JS
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| 9/15/2010 8:03:30 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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choosejoy
North Sioux City, SD
age: 42
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Quote from dorval ossibly some men do not understand that sometimes when women say a man is too nice she is actually saying he just may not be manly enough for her...
exactly...as well as when someone says "it's me, not you"...that is bs, to a point...
we can only change ourselves...soooooo
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| 9/15/2010 8:07:52 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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idaloveanggel
Springfield, OR
age: 39
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Some women need chaos in their lives. Some are driven and motivated by drama
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| 9/15/2010 8:08:26 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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claudius5
Petaluma, CA
age: 61
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Yes, if they feel they can walk all over you.
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| 9/15/2010 8:16:20 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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trueblkmann
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
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Yes its sad but true you must treat some men and women like puppies.
Take and roll a newpaper up and rap/pop them across the nose a few times to get there attention! smiling
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| 9/15/2010 8:20:55 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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choosejoy
North Sioux City, SD
age: 42
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ha ha...you better watch out w/that newspaper...some woman is gonna go grab her rug beater and give you a what-for lil one...
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| 9/15/2010 8:22:53 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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samueldr
Dallas, TX
age: 30
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What everyone is basically saying you gotta have a back bone man..
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| 9/15/2010 8:31:11 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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ballantyne731
Charlotte, NC
age: 43
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You are perfect. It's me not you.... I'm not good enough for you...
BTW I have some land in Florida up for sale...
[Edited 9/15/2010 8:33:43 PM ]
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| 9/15/2010 8:49:08 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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leggsallover
Bakersfield, CA
age: 52
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Everything that everyone is saying is so close to the truth, but when u think about it, isn't it a shame? I can't even begin to understand how anyone would want to throw away a nice guy for a guy that would and could possibly mistreat her as opposed to treating her like a queen...ya ya, i get the whole "he's boring, weak, unmanly, thing, but i'd rather have that than an abusive a**hole anyday of the week.
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| 9/15/2010 8:50:44 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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barbiedollgirl
Vienna, VA
age: 54
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that is abig cop out, they just dont have the guts to tell you the truth..that they are just not into you
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| 9/15/2010 8:52:29 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
age: 27
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Everything that everyone is saying is so close to the truth, but when u think about it, isn't it a shame? I can't even begin to understand how anyone would want to throw away a nice guy for a guy that would and could possibly mistreat her as opposed to treating her like a queen...ya ya, i get the whole "he's boring, weak, unmanly, thing, but i'd rather have that than an abusive a**hole anyday of the week.
It's that whole relationship taking work thing that's a no go for many....
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| 9/15/2010 8:55:36 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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hsprin
Savannah, MO
age: 34
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Yes, a guy can be TOO NICE and I know for me, I don't want a yes man. If I am being a b*tch I want my man to say hey, slow down, your being a b*tch. Not just continue to roll with it.
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| 9/15/2010 9:02:50 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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leggsallover
Bakersfield, CA
age: 52
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Yes, a guy can be TOO NICE and I know for me, I don't want a yes man. If I am being a b*tch I want my man to say hey, slow down, your being a b*tch. Not just continue to roll with it.
WELL, If u don't know when ur being a "b*tch" And u need a man to tell u that u r, U have some issues to work on...sheesh!
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| 9/15/2010 9:13:56 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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hsprin
Savannah, MO
age: 34
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No, the point is I don't want a man that will be a yes man and sit and take anything! I want a man who has a back bone and his own mind. 
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| 9/15/2010 9:16:16 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
age: 27
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Hmm, so what if you all click and just REALLY happen to agree on almost everything? Must there be conflict? Sometimes I wonder if women confuse lack of backbone with just simply not having anything to say but I truly agree. 
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| 9/15/2010 9:18:35 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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missedmyfriends
Assiniboia, SK
age: 46
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Sure can the key is balance, not a door mate but not a dictator. Some times you have to be the man and stand up and let yourself be known, after all there are 2 in the relationship not just the one.
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| 9/15/2010 9:18:58 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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leggsallover
Bakersfield, CA
age: 52
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No, the point is I don't want a man that will be a yes man and sit and take anything! I want a man who has a back bone and his own mind.
What in the world would there be for u to b*tch at if he complies to ur every whim? Sheesh, u sound as though u need drama to get u through the day and a guy that doesn't offer u enough of it is just too boring for u
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| 9/15/2010 9:20:07 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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mischiefmanaged
Bellevue, WA
age: 41
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Yup. Sorry the relationship isn't working. when people, notice I didn't say you specifically, but when people in general are:
* too nice
* acquiesce to the other person
* are so flexible as to not have preference
* constant pleaser
etc. then it's like being in a relationship by yourself, or no one. The other person lacks their own identity and personality. "too nice"-people usually feel good in a relationship. Their happiness hinges on it. When the other person leaves, especially for them being "too nice", it's confusing. The niceness strategy, to keep them happy/in the relationship, didn't work and it's confusing to them. Nice would definitely work on the "too nice" person but other people aren't usually like that. They don't mind leaving their comfort zone to assert themselves or think about themselves, they're not worried the other person would overreact or leave. If that's you, I'm not saying it is, but if it is you should fix those feelings. It would deepen your relationships.
or sometimes being overly nice in the relationship just kills it. Think of it like a plant. If you keep giving it too much water it will drown. It needs variety.
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| 9/15/2010 9:22:46 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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leggsallover
Bakersfield, CA
age: 52
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Yup. Sorry the relationship isn't working. when people, notice I didn't say you specifically, but when people in general are:
* too nice
* acquiesce to the other person
* are so flexible as to not have preference
* constant pleaser
etc. then it's like being in a relationship by yourself, or no one. The other person lacks their own identity and personality. "too nice"-people usually feel good in a relationship. Their happiness hinges on it. When the other person leaves, especially for them being "too nice", it's confusing. The niceness strategy, to keep them happy/in the relationship, didn't work and it's confusing to them. Nice would definitely work on the "too nice" person but other people aren't usually like that. They don't mind leaving their comfort zone to assert themselves or think about themselves, they're not worried the other person would overreact or leave. If that's you, I'm not saying it is, but if it is you should fix those feelings. It would deepen your relationships.
or sometimes being overly nice in the relationship just kills it. Think of it like a plant. If you keep giving it too much water it will drown. It needs variety.
Yes but not in the form of drama. Is being a b*tch necessary? Thats a crock
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| 9/15/2010 9:22:52 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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quietguy888
Hamilton, ON
age: 22
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I have a problem of being too nice as well- that is, fastidious and paying careful attention to details.
Gotta love common words with secondary meanings
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| 9/15/2010 9:24:36 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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hsprin
Savannah, MO
age: 34
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WOW, I don't know what your problem is but I didn't say anything along those lines!
Your the one who seems to be trying to stir something up here. 
And just because someone is a "yes man" doesn't mean you have no issues with them.
J Two people who get along great is different then one controlling the relationship and only having ONE voice.
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| 9/15/2010 9:26:06 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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hsprin
Savannah, MO
age: 34
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Sure can the key is balance, not a door mate but not a dictator. Some times you have to be the man and stand up and let yourself be known, after all there are 2 in the relationship not just the one.
Exactally!
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| 9/15/2010 10:47:59 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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mikey2k
Miami, FL
age: 45
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My ex-wife told me exactly that once when we were married. As a matter of fact she also said "YOU SPOILED ME". Not all women are LADIES, just like not all men are GENTLEMENS. Our characters, our attitude towards others, our care for others make us who we are. People will always come up with some fancy words for others involved [to put blame on] when they don't want to take responsibilities for their own wrong actions. In life, it takes 2 to tango. Don't sweat it. Just say good ridance, and get on with your life. And never stop the process of self improvement. Good luck Sir.
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| 9/16/2010 12:49:16 AM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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oldman309
Lawrenceburg, KY
age: 46
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If you love someone, don't you want to do what you can for them? If someone wants to take advantage of you then, they are in the wrong. Me personally, a lot of things make no difference to me. No, you can not be to nice to your wife.
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| 9/16/2010 5:46:43 AM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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milo1234
Jacksonville, FL
age: 44
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If you love someone, don't you want to do what you can for them? If someone wants to take advantage of you then, they are in the wrong. Me personally, a lot of things make no difference to me. No, you can not be to nice to your wife.
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Yes but your partner also deserves to be able to be nice to you. If you concede on everything, she is not able to contribute to you.
Often "being nice" motivations are simply to avoid conflict or disagreement.
Refusal to assert oneself and, or "work on issues" can exhibit a disregard for the relationship because the "being nice" person fails to be convey their true feelings. This makes the other partner feel that you don't trust her.
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| 9/16/2010 6:20:36 AM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 48
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I honestly believe that the phrase, "too nice" came about when someone was frantically trying to think of an excuse to bail and it seemed like an original idea at the time.
It's not original any more.
If she bailed, there's probably lots of reasons......most of them you'll never know.
Is it really accomplishing anything wasting emotional effort dwelling on details?
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| 9/16/2010 10:10:26 AM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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thorb
Yarker, ON
age: 61
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My ex told a friend that the reason she was leaving me was because I was too nice to her. What do you think can you be too nice to someone?
Duh??? well obviously .... she thinks so ....
but on the other hand ..... NICE .... is very subjective .
you need to find out the specifics from her or her friend/your friend and tell them not to spare your feelings.
what SHE thinks is "being too nice"
it might be .... you don't get into dominance games in the bedroom...
you won't know ... if you don't ask for specifics.
It might be that you never insist on doing what you want to do and always make her decide.
It looks nice ... but actually isn't ... its wishy washy ... submissive.
Ask.
[Edited 9/16/2010 10:12:09 AM ]
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| 9/16/2010 5:12:56 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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awd1233
Ocala, FL
age: 46
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cat fight and it dont matter who wins 
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| 9/16/2010 5:19:49 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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firstlight
Strasburg, VA
age: 50
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Too nice is a guy who says yes to everything, whether he wants to or not. We want to know how you really feel. You don't have to be angry, confrontational or whiny but have an opinion; good, bad, or indifferent.
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| 9/16/2010 5:42:53 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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centexan254
Temple, TX
age: 34
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If she has a history of guys treating her like crap then yes you can be too nice. Sorry if you ladies find this offensive. The info I am going off of is from 2 things. 1 personal experience. I just know when they start talking about a series of long relationship of men that treated them bad, they will probably get bored. Then they go back to what they know. The second part comes from a lady that is like a little sister to me. She would leave ever nice guy quickly, and fall at the feet of the worst examples of human beings there are.
In short they find a nice guy boring.
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| 9/16/2010 5:44:33 PM |
Can I guy be too nice to his then wife? |
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asil123
Milford, PA
age: 42
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Ive never heard of this before
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