| 4/2/2008 6:49:38 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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stella23
Lake Jackson, TX
age: 47
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Here's a little insight that a man gave me years ago:
You meet someone, hit it off, start dating, enjoy the days/months/years - however long the relationship remains good. During the good times, a hug is an embrace. You put your arms around your signifigant other, draw them near and hold them close, you put your heart into those hugs.
Then, if things start to change, if things aren't going so well, if the relationship hits the peak and starts on the downside, the hug changes. It turns from an embrace to this: Put your arms around your signifigant other and hug WHILE PATTING THEM ON THE BACK.
I've thought of this theory often, and it seems to be true.
Think about it! Do you agree with the theory that the little pat on the back is a signal that the relationship is just about over?
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| 4/2/2008 6:55:17 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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teaurtei
Payne, OH
age: 40
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Like subconsciously consoling them as you continue to offer an affection that is no longer as sincere as it once was? Perhaps so...I could see some measure of validity in that way of looking at it.
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| 4/2/2008 7:35:04 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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Wow, I've never thought of that, but you sure got me thinking now! Could be true, because the pat on the back is sort of a nurturing, pity, consolation, hmmm kinda deal?
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| 4/2/2008 7:37:35 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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tlc4u46
Santa Barbara, CA
age: 47
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that is a sign, but there are plenty of others, like cringing at your touch. BIG RED FLAG
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| 4/2/2008 7:45:01 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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yankeesweet
Aiken, SC
age: 57
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Yeah, I think you are exactly correct.
I had a male friend that I ended up dating for a short period
of time. It just wasn't doing it for me to be dating him so we
went back to being really good friends. I remember doing that
when we hugged. It was like I was saying...."I love you...and I
care about you...but we are just friends." I wasn't really
conscious of doing that but now when I think about it...that was
exactly it!!!
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| 4/2/2008 7:49:12 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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stella23
Lake Jackson, TX
age: 47
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Yeah, the thought of that little pat has stuck in my head for years. Needless to say, the guy that brought it to my attention was eventually the 'patter' - making me the 'pattee' - and I knew immediately what was going on! I even brought it to his attention, "Hey - you did the 'patting the back' thing". He said I was being paranoid. Sure enough, bam! It was over. Fast forward several years. I had been married for 2 or three years when suddenly - THE PAT ON THE BACK. The marriage limped along for a few more years, but I swear, the pat was the tell-tell turning point! 
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| 4/2/2008 8:03:10 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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vitruviangal
Madison, WI
age: 47
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I think I heard it on Seinfeld or something that when you are comforting someone that is hurt and you are holding them when they are crying(most likely it will be a big strapping guy, you know how comfortable they are sharing their emotions.... ) any how back to the gist of it. When you begin patting them on the back thats your signal for .....o.k. stop crying, I'm done comforting you now, get over it.
?????
Secret Human Code.....and we only have about 70-80 years to figure it out....
Damn
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| 4/2/2008 8:15:41 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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stella23
Lake Jackson, TX
age: 47
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I agree - it's a secret human code!
Pay attention the next time you're being hugged.
Is it really a 'hello' - or a 'goodbye'?
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| 4/2/2008 9:14:33 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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ayamehana25
Idaho Falls, ID
age: 25 online now!
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absolutely, its like they're saying its ok there there like a mother does to a child
its aggravating
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| 4/2/2008 9:54:50 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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theglimmerman
Vancouver, BC
age: 40
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were did i put my decoder ring?.........................I'm always forgetting where I put stuff.........
smoking stunts your growth.
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| 4/2/2008 10:05:44 PM |
That Little Pat on the Back ..... |
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goodforfun51
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 53
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Now Dayummmm, you are going to have every woman who reads this thread feeling that when a hug is not heartily delivered, such as when in haste or when the givers attention is say maybe on work or something, that their relationship is moving into a rocky shoal!!!!
I disagree. I have given those who I was in relationships with pats on the back such as condolance pats while giving lighter hugs, due to the situations. It ment nothing but "It'll be fine, honey." now suck it up, tomorrow is another day!!! 
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