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| 4/20/2008 12:43:57 AM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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trainrunner007
Harrisonville, MO
age: 41
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i think if you can talk to her and shes always been honest w/you ,you should be able to talk to her if shes doing IT you should be a smart father and making sure she is doing IT RIGHT AND SAFE tell her your not an idiot and your not ready to be a grandpa yet. be serious and light hearted at the same time and dont forget to tell her you love her. i really like your question and appreciate it, i know daughters are different then sons but it all boils down to the same thing, they are gonna do it whether you approve or not and all we can do as parents is educate them as best we can with out making them feel threatened about the decision they are gonna make . we would all like our children to be virgins when they get married but we dont always get what we want. if when you do talk to her dont be angry or disapointed remember when you were 17
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| 4/23/2008 4:38:54 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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atech32
Radford, VA
age: 40
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hey every body, it seems as thou every body agrees talking to her as the adult she is, would be the way to go. so i did talk to her she is slowly moveing out like day by day she takes a few more things out.
but even thou she IS  our relation ship has grown from father daughter to father friend daughter. she seems more close and open about what she is doing and thinking and asking for advise on occasion. THANKS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THANKS ALOT. being a singles dad is tough but it is very rewarding too. just knowing that you havent screwed them up in some way and find out just how wonderfull they are and very proud of both my kids. THANKS AGAIN GUYS.
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| 4/23/2008 10:41:15 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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manswer
Hutchinson, KS
age: 47
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whatever you do dont puh her or you will push her right where you didnt want her to go shes 17 and she has to make her own mistakes just be there for her no matter what and never say i told you so growing up is what we all have to do and you learn by your mistakes so when she makes them think of some of the mistakes you made and share some of them with her be selective! lol
good luck
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| 7/17/2008 8:22:44 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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crimsonrose84
Pensacola, FL
age: 24
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I agree with a majority of what other people have said. So I won't repeat. But here are some extras I thought of:
-Check the local Age of Consent. I know you don't want to think that your daughter is doing anything but life happens. Some States have rules about Consent. IE: The Minor can be 16 but the adult and be no more then 3 years older. Some state allow consent if the parent ok's it. So if you really like the guy and he's treating her right. Put it into writing.
Another Exsample: I have a 3yo daughter. My friend was having a BBQ. Before inviting me they let me know that a registared sex offender would be there......everyone done freaking out now?.....when this guy was 18 he was dating a 17yo, who's parents of course didn't like him, they broke up and out of spite she reported him, he served his time, and has been branded for life.
After checking with your local laws let your daugher know what they are...she may want to wait.
-How are her grades? If your comfortable with this idea let her stay the night on Fri OR Sat night if she's keeping up on her classes, that way she doesn't have to lie about whearabouts. Girls can get distracted when "in love", make sure she's still keeping and eye on the future (college) while living in the present. Ask her for his address. Drop her off, so you know that is his place of residence. Let him know that you are entrusting him with her and now that you know where he lives "If anything happens to her.....".
In thier minds every car that goes by could be you.
If you let her spend the a weekend there. Pop by unannouced using the old "You forgot this". Keep them wondering. If he can't understand that by dating your daughter he's considered "apart of the family", and that you still have a right to pop in and check up on her until she's is of full legal age...he needs to go.
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| 7/17/2008 10:39:09 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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musicandsmiles
Portland, OR
age: 53
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I too have a 17 year old daughter who lives with friends at the beach finishing out highschool. I have to trust her and know that I have instilled the core set of morals that I hope she embraces as much as I. She too has a boyfriend. Ya, I don't think he's good enough for her, but I know that she is strong willed and hopefully will make good decisions for herself. All I have ever asked of her was to be upfront with me, and so when she decides she wants to begin being sexual, I can get her birth control right away. She does talk to me about many things. Yes, I know, that she will always keep secrets and may not always give me the whole truth, but I remember being her age once, a very long time ago. I only hope that she doesnt make the same mistakes her old mom did and that she has the strength, mindset, education and morality to make good decisions for her future. All we can really do is love our children, trust in them and hope for the best. So, dad, I can't make any recommendations for you except to offer her your love and support, no matter what, and trust her.
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| 8/31/2008 7:20:25 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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puertoricosbest
Elberton, GA
age: 51
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I too raised a daughter and tried every thing, and I found out that the best thing to do is to have an opened mind when you sit down to talk to her, forget control that never works and only would push her further away, Remember she is going to do what she wants to do regardless of what you say so show her support and show her that you are only
concerned for her well being and safety always let her know that you love her and what
ever happends daddy will always be there for her, that may not change her mind, but it
surely will give her some thing to think about.
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| 8/31/2008 8:12:47 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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madthen
Seymour, IN
age: 23
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ok i am 23 years old and i moved out when i turned 18 i started seeing a guy and when i was 17 i was doing the exact same thing. i am not saying spy on her but ask her for a number where she can be reached and see how her reaction is if she do not want u talking to that friend that means she is at the boyfriends but u no she will be 18 in a few months just calm down adn lay back casue if u are hard on her u are going to push her away and then she will move in with him and it will b to fast for them and she will move abck in with u and they will break up if u let her come and go on her own she will feel that she has time to figure out what she wants if u push her into being honest with u it wil lpush her away and rush her into things she is not ready for she is an adult now be more of a friend then a dad at this point in her life
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| 9/2/2008 1:06:23 PM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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shortcake35bt
Marion, OH
age: 18
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well im only 18. ur daughter is about my age. and let me tell ya, to me it sounds like stuff is goin on. i kno if my boyfriend had an appartment and i went over there alot, stuff woud probably happen. but thas jus me, idk ur daughter, only u kno her. i would just say talk to her. but be calm and nice and understanding. DONT YELL OR SCREAM!! if u do, she wont tell u anything. tell her u wont be mad and ud just like to kno wats going on in her life. dont tell her ur worried tho cuz then shell get an attitude like u aint got to b worried bout me lol. just be calm and dont get mad if she tells u she is doin stuff, cuz then shell never tell u anything again.
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| 9/5/2008 12:38:13 AM |
single dad wants advice on 17yr old daughter |
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sixstrings2play
Richmond, IN
age: 32 online now!
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I got 2 younger sisters myself, both very rebelliously independent. Both have potentially abusive boyfriends, from what most people say. Youngest sister just turned 18, or is about to (pretty bad I know), Oldest is 20. I helped raise them since I was 13, long story there... I also have a 5 year old daughter that will be down that road as well.
Not sure what the right answer will be for you. So I will give a couple.
Explain that you are the father, in a good sense. Of course you love her, so maybe remind her that. Tell her you realize she's about to become a young lady, & feels like she is woman enough to make her own decisions. However, you want her to be as open with you as possible. Explain what you think she is doing, & ask if you've over thought the situation or close to understanding. (Seems like the best thought I have.)
Not sure if she has communication with her mom. Sometimes having mom ask would put her at ease, & get a straight answer. If mom isn't around, tell her things like this would be easier if she was around to ask her.
I think most of all, we all try to grow up too fast. Life then hits us like a mack truck, leaving a huge mess after the fact! Maybe have a long talk about your past relationships, & maybe it will shed some light on what you did, & what failed.
Ultimately, you probably want her to finish school, & go on to college if possible. Often though, those 2 things are the last things on our minds at such a young age.
Where the hell is the instructions?!?!?! Right? I almost dread the day I get to realize my children's doings. I feel like I would either underestimate something, or over dramatize their issues. Not like we'd want to read "Idiots guide: to growing up" or "Growing up, for Dummies!" Hmm, wonder if they exist!!! 
Well, I hope, if nothing else, if my advice isn't useful, someone's is!
Best of Luck!!!
Let us know.
Edited: Der me, guess I should have read the whole post, either way, I'll keep this here, incase.
P.S. Birth Control would be a good idea, so many things to read up on that thought. Make sure she can take whatever it is you/she decides on.
Huge step for you I'm sure. Also huge step for her too I imagine.
Again, Best of Luck!!!
[Edited 9/5/2008 12:43:28 AM]
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