iluvsouthpark
Queensland
Australia
age: 20
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wat do i do ima so confused AND I JUST DONT UNDERSDTAND WAT IMA DOING WRONG??????/
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pleasurepirate
Shreveport, LA
age: 47
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You're so young and you feel things so strongly at your age, the the intoxicating joy of another's attentions as well as the crushing pain of feeling your love is not being reciprocated. Just remember that both extremes are somewhat misleading. Enjoy the highs and learn from the lows without letting them take away your joy. Best to find an emotional center to go to when in doubt to gain perspective.
Btw, it's a universal law that a person's affection toward you is inversely proportional to the amount you feel like you desperately need it. Ponder that.
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countrydancer32
Chicago, IL
age: 32
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Well said pleasurepirate, well said.
I love the inversely proportional comment as well. Very true.
There is a fine line between appreciated and needed. I LOVE being appreciated, I am not so fond of being needed. I prefer a guy who is confidently happy with himself and I am just the added bonus to his life.
Luvsouth, I hate to say it, but you asked what do I do? I walk away. If it was a good enough relationship before it got weird they come back a few months later and want to start talking again. Which made me realize lately. I was probably smothering them, taking up too much of their time on the computer and phone and not letting them live the very life that attracted me to them in the first place. Once they start living it again and see that they are not my entire world, then we are ready to see where it goes. Anyway.. just a recent lesson I learned.
 Country
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imsaneru
Nanaimo, BC
age: 50
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spend more time on yourself and less time with him and trying to sontact him .. if he doesn't notice that then there's nothing there...
There's no point in waiting to see if he comes back in a few months...if it's not working .. it's not working
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flowergirl62
South Australia
Australia
age: 45
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Check his phone account.......
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katiescarlett72
Dallas, TX
age: 35
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It's been a while since I posted this; here it is again. Please pay attention to the section in bold.
Written by Greg Berehndt, with some help from some writer types, these are the highlights of a book written about men for women. As a woman, I can say, it goes both ways. Don't be pathetic, be smart.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. If he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
1. An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of ruining the friendship.
2. Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
3. If you can find him, he can find you. If he WANTS to find you, he will.
4. "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party - any bar - friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.
5. Men don't forget how much they like you, so put down the phone.
6. You are good enough to be asked out.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. (Men know how to use the phone.)
1. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.
2. Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do.
3. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize he's ok with disappointing you.
4. If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
5. Busy is another word for asshole. Asshole is another word for the guy you're dating.
6. You deserve a phone call.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's not dating you. Hanging Out is not dating.
1. Guys tell you how they feel even if you refuse to listen or believe them. 'I don't want to be in a serious relationship' truly means 'I don't want to be in a serious relationship WITH YOU' or 'I'm not sure that you're the one.' Sorry.
2. Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
3. If you don't know where the relationship is going, it's ok to pull over and ask.
4. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you. When men like you, they want to touch you. Always.
1. People tell you who they are all the time. When a man says he can't be monogamous, believe him.
2. Companionship is wonderful, but companionship with sex is even better. Call a spade a spade or, more fittingly, a friend a friend, and go find yourself a friend that can't keep his hands off of you.
3. Your lost self esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly.
4. If you're tempted to spend countless nights just cuddling with someone, buy a puppy.
5. There's someone out there that does want to have sex with you, hot stuff!
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else. There's never going to be a GOOD excuse for cheating.
1. There's no excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There's no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating.
2. Your only responsibility in someone else's lapse in judgment is to yourself.
3. Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter whom it was with or how many times it has happened.
4. Cheating gets easier every time it is done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.
5. Cheaters never prosper. Because they SUCK.
6. A cheater only cheats himself, because he doesn't get to be with you!
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
1. It doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. An I LOVE YOU or any semblance thereof while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won't hold up in court or in life.
2. If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc., when he's inebriated, it ain't love - it's sport.
3. Bad boys are actually bad.
4. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you. 'I don't want to go out with you' means just that.
1. You can't talk your way out of a break up. It's not up for discussion. A break up is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
2. Break up sex still means you are broken up.
3. Cut him off. Let him miss you.
4. He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
5. He can take care of his own cat or dog or fish, etc.
6. Classy doesn't break into his answering machine.
7. There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you. Sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself.
1. He might be in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he's just not that into you.
2. No answer is your answer.
3. Don't give him a chance to reject you again.
4. Let his mother yell at him. You're too busy.
5. There's no mystery - he's gone and he wasn't good enough for you.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's married and other insane variations of being unavailable. If you're not able to love freely, it's not really love.
1. Uh, he's married!
2. Unless he's all yours, he's still hers.
3. There are cool, loving single men in the world. Find one of them to go out with.
4. If a guy is yelling about his ex-wife or crying over his last girlfriend, find someone else to take you to the movies.
5. He's married.
6. Don't be that girl.
7. You are not easily forgotten. Let him find you when he's ready.
8. He's married.
TOPIC: He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a big freak. If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.
1. Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
2. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. You have to be nice to them, too.
3. There's never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger.
4. Freaks should remain in the circus, not your apartment.
5. You already have an asshole. You don't need another one.
6. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
7. Have faith. What other choice is there?
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