| 4/15/2008 6:10:49 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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r_bogdewic
Ellsworth, PA
age: 30
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Ok. I don't get it. I've dated a few women who all have said the same thing, "I want a man truly devoted to me", or "I want a man who will never loose interest in me", or "I want a man I can count on always being there for me", etc.
When a guy like me comes along and women don't appreciate us guys who give all the attention, they give us the speech "I need some space", or "you're smothering me", or "I don't feel the way I once did and I don't know why. Maybe just give me some space", etc.
Sooooooooooooo, A guy like me gives the space a woman like this asks for, and we get used to be being distant, or not as available as we once were.
HERE'S THE KILLER!!!!!! THEN, she says after a while, "You're not too much into me anymore", or "Why can't you love me like the way you did in the begining", or "I feel like the spark has died off from your end", or even, "You don't pay that much attention to me anymore"
Well DUH, Captain Obvious!!!! You got exactly what your dumb ass asked for.....SPACE, and now it's my fault that I got used to it and you don't want space anymore, you want to be close again? I was once a truly giving and caring, compassionate guy, and you took it for grantit. Why?
Just a hunch. I bet if I go back to being all attention giving again, this cycle will continue. Point blank simply asked, "If I get back in touch with being there for you like I was in the begining, will I hear from you again that you need space again?"
Make up your damn minds already and stop playing games!!!! This is one of the reasons why our divorce rates are at an all time high in this day and age.
WHY????!!!!!!!
[Edited 4/15/2008 6:27:56 PM]
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| 4/15/2008 6:15:25 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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nitiphotochick
Louisville, KY
age: 18
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Well, I know all girls are different, what they are looking for is different. It just depends on what kinds of girl you are interested in. Maybe you are looking at the wrong type of girl. You need to find someone that will give you as much respect as you give to her. I know it's hard, trust me; but it is out there.
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| 4/15/2008 6:16:30 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44
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hmmmmm I'm just going to back out of this thread til you calm down a wee bit okay??? Good luck with that! 
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| 4/15/2008 6:21:26 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 47
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Dude, you and arreis need to get together. Check her posts. Remember, just like when the girls are b*tching about the same thing, hey, you picked her.
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| 4/15/2008 6:30:32 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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julymorning07
Saint James, MO
age: 55
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It does sound like game playing. I have given your post alot of serious thought because it was so well written.
I began by trying to put myself theoretically into the shoes of someone you're dating.
If I tell you that you are smothering me, it's because I am either needing space for other activities (innocent or maybe not so-innocent), or I feel the need for a little challenge just like guys need to feel.
If after you give me space - and maybe or maybe not it was too much space, I need your undivided attention again because you've either gone too far away or I need the strokes by knowing you are still totally into me and not getting into someone else.
At any rate, unless you are trying to occupy her time and space innapropriate for the stage in your relationship, I don't think these girls are 100% in love with you. Exclusively.
Hope I have been helpful.
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| 4/15/2008 6:33:00 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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r_bogdewic
Ellsworth, PA
age: 30
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Dude. Who's airees?
VERY TRUE!!! I picked her, and her, and her, over and over again, but I never see it coming until I invest my feelings, and then I get the "I need space" routine.
They just seem like regular ordinary NORMAL women, and then this BS starts, and I'm already committed to make it work. Remember, I'm a nice guy type, so I'm not going to be Billy Bad Ass and say beat it b*tch. That's just not me.
Julie:
Nice comment. Thanx.
[Edited 4/15/2008 6:35:03 PM]
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| 4/15/2008 6:40:03 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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rythmnnromance
Oviedo, FL
age: 47
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Hello Bogdewic;
It's simple, 6 words "She's just not that into you".
When a woman, lady, young women are into the man they are dating or seeing, they don't make excuses.
when they start making excuses, it's because they aren't into you.
Doesn't mean your not a nice man or a good person, it just means you are not the one for them..
So move on and keep looking.
Even if you met some one who you felt something special for.... if she doesn't feel it for you, your not going to make it right... no matter how hard you try....
Besides that; true love, and meaningful loving relationships shouldn't be a game or all that difficult. It's mutual and when it is.. it can be wonderful....
Making loneliness less your enemy may serve to benefit you, because when you do...
you will be able to spot the kind of woman you really don't want to end up with.
Good luck. Star~
[Edited 4/15/2008 6:45:17 PM]
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| 4/15/2008 6:53:25 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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r_bogdewic
Ellsworth, PA
age: 30
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Star:
Thanx for that suggestion. Here's the thing. I'm looking for the one who wants me, but doesn't need me...the one who loves everything about me, including my insecurities (because afterall, we all have 'em)....the one who wants to spend alot of her time with me.....the one who will make me want to be a better man when I'm around her....the one who will want to be a better women when around me....the one who grows more fond of "us" everyday....the one who misses me when I'm gone.....the one who's excited to see me when I arrive......the one who accepts me for who I am (and never tries to "one-up" me)....the one who can be comfortable enough around me to be herself (instead of trying to be something she's not and act like she's better than me).....the one who falls deeper and deeper in love with me with almost everything associated with "us" and never gets tired of "us"
Problem is, many of the women I date, seem to be this way, in the begining, and then slowly transform into the ugly frog that no prince wants to be around or even kiss anymore.
That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Are there ANY women like this left in the world?
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| 4/15/2008 6:54:51 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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sunshinekc
Tampa, FL
age: 36
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Okay. Now you've got me thinking really deeply here! I definitely understand where you are coming from even though my experiences have been much milder. I've just experienced where if you make yourself unavailable, the guy is right in your face and if you are available, he doesn't have time for you. I have no tolerance for that.
My first thought is that you might be picking the wrong type of women and/ or rushing into things really fast because the person is new and exciting. A lot of women are so excited to have all that attention you have given them and then they come to their senses after the excitement has worn off and they don't know what to do except push you away.
I would suggest just pulling back a little, not too extreme, because I think extremes freak some women out--that is unless she definitively tells you to back off. If that's the case, just hit the road permanently--she's not worth any more of your time.
Here I just thought it was men that played that game. Thanks for the enlightenment!
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| 4/15/2008 6:56:26 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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melbie78
Sterling, MA
age: 47
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someone that really cares
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| 4/15/2008 6:58:20 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37
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 bodge nice to see ya back.
you're right,it is a cycle........with some but not all.they don't always mean what they say.treat em the same regardless.some aren't cyclers.just try finding them
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| 4/15/2008 7:01:23 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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honestinlov4u
Perkasie, PA
age: 64
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I think rythm hit the nail on the head...Sorry
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| 4/15/2008 7:06:45 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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krupa1
Abilene, TX
age: 39
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Dude...almost a year ago, I SWEAR I posted a thread with this exact title and got crucified for it. Careful what you wish for....you just may get it. Let me drop you a clue...."It has NOTHING to do with what men want"
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| 4/15/2008 7:08:51 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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r_bogdewic
Ellsworth, PA
age: 30
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I might add one more too:
I was raised old fashioned....very old fashioned (grandparents old fashioned), and was brought up to believe to be the nice guy and treat a lady like a lady, and a tramp like a lady as well, but not worth my time and move on.
I have so much respect for myself and in what I'm looking for. Sure I have insecurities.....don't we all? I'll be man enough to admit that.....I HAVE INSECURITIES!!!!
But being raised old fashioned I was taught that it's ok to have your insecurities, and the woman you end up with will be your other "HALF" and make up for your shortcomings.
Problem is today, is that MOSTLY everyone is so damned narsisitic (sp) and only think in the manner of "What's in it for me" or "What do I get out of it" or BS like that.
Juvenille, and completely immature!
So I pose the question again...."ARE THERE ANY WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE TRULY WORTHWHILE (and who are single of course...lol)????"
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| 4/15/2008 7:09:01 PM |
What in the HELL do you women really want???!!! |
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dej88
Harrisburg, PA
age: 59
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I think to get an answer to this one, the question would be how long are you seeing each before this happens? (the I Need Space routine). Oh, and guys do that too. So, no matter which gender is doing this, it isn't any less painful. Another question is how much time do you take to get to know them before you make them the most important thing in your life? What attracts you to them to start with? If you can say a little more, you may get a more accurate response to your question.
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