| 5/4/2008 5:30:37 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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topamountain
Nitro, WV
age: 45 online now!
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What are some good tips, as far as on line dating. Is it not a good idea to email and try to get to know one another. If I dont give out my number soon enough,they move on.How long should you wait before phone calls or meeting. And what are some ways to find out if they are real.I know I should trust my feelings, follow my instinct's , but this has never worked for me before. Thank you so much for any input... I'll take the good and the bad,trying to be more open and learn something.
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| 5/4/2008 5:36:08 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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bonsaijoe
Vero Beach, FL
age: 40
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ya just have to feel them out i guess just wait till you feel comfortable
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| 5/4/2008 5:37:12 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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slim9053
Mason, OH
age: 46
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You can e-mail and IM here on DH . You have to remember that there are a lot of freaks out there . If someone moves on because you didnt give out your phone number soon enough then it`s their loss
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| 5/4/2008 5:37:53 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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tweet169
Belmont, NC
age: 38
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Well to be honest from what I have seen is that the guys that ask for your number after only chatting back and forth for a few - those guys are either pushy, creepy or fake. I tend to talk several times and then give them my Yahoo IM. We then can chat there and have a better conversation and get to know one another - then give him your number and if all sounds and feels right, plan on meeting up. Good Luck with your search
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| 5/4/2008 5:39:14 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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maniacmassager
Lawrence, MA
age: 42 online now!
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It does boil down to instinct. i guess some people have better intuition than others though. i think after a week or so of emailing or better yet, IMs, a phone call is ok if your feeling a good vibe. then after a couple phone calls, id be ready for a real meeting. i prefer a dark alley after midnight. just kidding! as far as finding out if they are real, it goes back to gut instinct, or youll just have to find out eventually after you continue to see them. one red flag i know of is if they ask for your number on the first or second conversation. thats a bit pushy in my mind. and if they get mad when you dont give it to them, dump them!
[Edited 5/4/2008 5:40:52 AM]
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| 5/4/2008 8:39:57 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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dove53
Tellico Plains, TN
age: 53
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What are some good tips, as far as on line dating. Is it not a good idea to email and try to get to know one another. If I dont give out my number soon enough,they move on.How long should you wait before phone calls or meeting. And what are some ways to find out if they are real.I know I should trust my feelings, follow my instinct's , but this has never worked for me before. Thank you so much for any input... I'll take the good and the bad,trying to be more open and learn something.
Hi topamountain,
Trust your instincts above all else. If something ain't quite right move on.
I've told guys that I'm going to have to back off and most of the time they understand. If not, it wasn't meant to be anyway. You are right some guys are wayyy to pushy. Those are the ones to look out for. Trust me I've dated lots of guys in the last yrs and I have experienced almost everything! lol I guess it just takes dating, calling each other, but give that guy some breathing room. Because I have found out for me personally. Guys don't need a woman that doesn't give him his time with the boys or family. Or they will go to someone that gives them that. Every woman loves her space also but it's up to her to decide what to do with it whether it's good or bad. And most of all be honest. Take your time if you are interested in him and don't be in a hurry.
Good luck!
dove53
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| 5/4/2008 8:58:37 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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osoroho
Mesquite, TX
age: 57
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Go to walmart get a pre paid phone that way if you dont want any further contact throw it away problem solved....
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| 5/4/2008 8:58:46 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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misssmatch
Cleveland, TN
age: 51
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i agree with trusting your instincts...you can never be 100% sure of someone, no matter how careful you are either online or in the real world...each person is different...
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| 5/4/2008 9:23:35 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 46
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If anyone "moves on" just because you didn't follow their dating timetable, you can pretty much bet they don't have your best interests at heart. Like everyone has said, take it slow cuz the vipers & the wolves are on the prowl. Watch the Forums...they're a fairly good indication of someone's personality & intentions. Lastly, you may want to follow your heart or your mind, but your gut instincts will most likely steer you in the right direction. Good luck! 
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| 5/4/2008 9:33:27 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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Online dating depends on really what both are looking for.
First things first... You have some people online who are into games, deceit, sex only, looking for serious relationships, casual dating, ego boosts, entertainment at someone else's expense etc...
So depending on what one is looking for, I guess depends on the type of correspondence.
But assuming one is looking for serious dating for relationships, one has to eliminate ALL BS, chances of deceit immediately... If they are within a good radius of your location especially within 20 miles, I suggest the following
1. DO NOT chat/email for weeks and or over a month chatting/emailing doesn't have emotions, inflection, voice, one's temper etc... All you have is icons and typed words.
2. Chat email/ a couple of times and TALK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE - don't reveal too much online - save that for conversation - Talking over the phone is instantaneous convo.
3. Should you get a positive vibe over the phone, you want to set up a date to meet and take things from there. Remember, one can always use *67 to block out their number if they are uncomfortable.
Now if one is long distance away, then obviously the email/chat can go on for extended periods of time, but you still want to talk to the person ASAP and you can chat/email as much as you want.
Final thought: ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO ONES ACTIONS. IF THEY DON'T ADD UP TO all the nice things they say or promises they make MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERSON 
[Edited 5/4/2008 9:37:55 AM]
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| 5/4/2008 10:06:36 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 50
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I think everyone has provided sound advice, but for specifics:
Poor English-many scammers are using fake pictures and the way they write isn't grammatical. When you reply to them with specific questions they never answer.
Anyone who is TOO ANXIOUS or REEKS OF DESPERATION, ie:
"I've never felt this way", they talk about moving, visiting way too soon.
They contact you multiple times a day.
They have no job or have had way too many jobs.
Their problems are ALWAYS caused by somebody else, ie: ex wife or girlfriend, boss, etc.
They claim to still be living with their soon to be ex girlfriend or spouse in a different room or on a different floor.
They have several children by multiple partners.
They only use drugs recreationally.
If the person contacting you or you "think you're in love" without having spoken and meeting and ACTUALLY GETTING SOME REAL LIFE LIVING UNDER YOUR BELT you are not in realty. You need to spend time getting to know someone in normal day to day circumstances. How they act after a long day at work, how they interact with their family, children, server in the restaurant, etc. You need to spend time to learn how they resolve conflict. THIS IS A BIGGIE! Do they scream, slam doors, passive aggressive, etc. How do they handle money and credit? Are they fiscally responsible or always needing to borrow money and/or scraping by.How do they keep their apartment, condo or home? Are they slobs or do they take pride in how they live?
If you plan on meeting you will NOT learn about any of these things by jumping into the sack with this person.
I'm astounded at the number of adult men and women who still do "not get this".
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| 5/4/2008 11:30:07 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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baydreamin
Lancaster, PA
age: 47
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Bestman, THANK YOU! I have another thread on here that is similar and your steps are exactly what I was thinking. While I like email/IM, you're so right - it's impersonal. Anyway, your thoughts just lend credence to what I was getting at on my thread, so glad to know someone else thinks the way I do. On this topic anyway!
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| 5/4/2008 11:33:54 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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im_vika
Brooklyn, NY
age: 32 online now!
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I agree with everyone here...There is no pre-set time frame. You should move at your own paste...If you feel comfortable enough to give your phone number, then do it...If not, just tell them you are not yet ready for it. I have had several men turn outright nasty when I refused to give my number to them. I simply stop talking to them, wash my hands and move on...You set your own boundaries and if someone doesn't respect that, then they don't respect you.
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| 5/4/2008 11:43:50 AM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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topamountain
Nitro, WV
age: 45 online now!
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Thank you all. I am taking notes.
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| 5/4/2008 12:16:27 PM |
you input -greatly needed. |
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trinagirl
Riverdale, NJ
age: 48
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thebestman has the best advice. agree totally. back and forth emails that go on and on have nothing to do with the real person. its a bunch of typed words that who knows...may have taken hours for the person to figure out the 'right' words.
same with IM. the person could be an expert at charm and humor only behind a keyboard.
a LIVE conversation tells a lot. cant say 'hold on. let me think of what to say next.'
plus someone might be hiding their availability if staying with computer. once it switches to phone, you will notice if person can only talk during day or just certain evenings or there is always voicemail when you call back. a return call 4 days later. or email replies instead of ph. calls saying how busy the person is.
alot of red flags but there are more than a few dishonest or un-single folks on these sites.
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