misplacedcalibo
Sierra Vista, AZ
age: 19
|
And what could I change for new girls
Tony,
I don't know if you really care or want to hear anything from me, but
just
in case you did i thought i would tell you about the dilemma that i
have
been struggling with that has been basically forcing me to distance
myself
further and further away from you.
Over the past year and a half, there has been this Tony that i have
gotten
to know who is sweet, caring, sensitive, a little needy and jealous and
immature, but overall still a really nice guy who is a good boyfriend.
This
Tony is someone who i really grew to care about, someone that i loved
with
every bit of my heart, someone i trusted without question, and someone
that
hopefully my actions during the first year of our relationship proved i
would do ANYTHING for. This Tony was the guy that i discovered and fell
in
love with even though there were so many obstacles in our way: stupid
guys
like darrel and brandon and tj who tried to intervene and make you look
bad
so they could try to get with me themselves, stupid room-mates like
dale who
made life difficult in every way they possibly could, stupid friends
like
craig who were jealous and controlling and resented me having a
boyfriend,
hard times where there was no money, no food, no cigarettes and no
electricity. But like you have said to me yourself many times, none of
those
things mattered at all, because we had each other. I remember falling
asleep
on my couch, smushed up against the back of the couch because there was
barely enough room for the both of us to lay down, there was a couple
of
candles burning because we had no electricity, and you were listening
for
any suspicious noises outside because we had recently been robbed by a
couple of those stupid people that liked to try to make things harder
for
us. I was a little bit scared, but i felt happy and safe falling asleep
in
your arms knowing that you were there, sleeping on the outside edge of
the
couch, protecting me and ready to keep anything bad from happening to
me.
That was the Tony i loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
As time went on, i slowly but surely started to see that this Tony was
a
Tony that only i knew, because he never showed himself to anybody else
but
me. It bothered me a little bit, but i was ok with it because i knew in
my
heart that the Tony that i knew was the REAL Tony, regardless of how
many
people knew him also. But little by little, through broken promises,
dishonesty, and irrational jealousy and immmaturity, your actions began
to
show me that there was this whole other Tony, the one that people had
warned
me about from the beginning, the one that i believed was just a
misconception of other people because they didnt know you as well as i
did.
I began to find out more things that this Tony was doing and portraying
to
other people when i wasnt around, things that were very hurtful and
decietful to me. I tried to my hardest to hold onto the belief that i
knew
the real Tony, that people can exaggerate or misconstrue things and
that
this other Tony that i kept hearing about from when i wasnt around was
not
really true. But then i began to see that Tony for myself, just a
glimpse
here and there, and i began to see that i had no other choice but to
believe
that this Tony was truly there when i wasnt around because the things
that
other people told me about fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I
confronted you about some things and not about others, because the
things i
did confront you about it was like pulling teeth to get even the least
bit
of truth from you. And so it finally hit me that maybe, just maybe,
this
Tony that i knew was just a Tony that you showed to me only in order to
impress me or try to give me a certain impression of you because you
knew
how innocent i was. I didnt want to have any thoughts in my head about
something like that, and i tried to ignore them and make them go away,
but
they just kept gnawing at me continuously, making me depressed, moody,
and
resentful. And so it basically came down to this in my head: there was
this
sweet and kind Tony that i knew, the one that i loved and trusted, but
nobody knew him except for me. And i had come to find out that this
sweet
Tony had lied to me throughout our entire relationship, broken promises
he
had made to me from the beginning, never really trusted me our entire
relationship even though up until a certain point i never did anything
that
proved i shouldnt be trusted, and so i had no other choice but to
accept the
fact that this Tony i knew was a lie and the other Tony that i had
begun to
see was in fact the real Tony. It hurt me so badly to feel decieved,
lied
to, mistrusted, and resented that i could no longer really keep myself
plugged into our relationship. I didnt want to give up on you though,
but i
could no longer really be connected to you and our relationship because
it
just hurt me so much, and so i had to go through the motions but
disconnect
myself from my feelings so it didnt hurt to be around you.
This other Tony is the one that calls me a wh*re, decieves other people
by
making it seem like you werent completely relying on my for everything
like
my car, my house, my food, my cigarettes, and my money, this is the
Tony
that says i "took you for all you were worth", when in fact it's
exactly the
opposite, this is the Tony that tries to to get me thrown in jail
multiple
times, this is the tony that has no respect for my house or my things,
never
cleans up after himself, treats my apartment like its a big trash can,
comes
in between me having any other friends than him, tries to control
everything
i do, never lets me enjoy anything, constantly makes me feel guitly
about
everything i do, this is the tony that calls me a c*nt, b*tch, and
makes me
feel like one too. This is the Tony that, when he is gone from my life,
|
bethlet
Spokane, WA
age: 49
|
Well, for one thing, you could refrain from airing your dirty laundry in public.
For another thing, you might want to listen to this female. But you can save yourself some trouble and just cut to the last paragraph.
For a third thing, you can read the forum rules, which say it is against rules to post emails (or in your case, letters).
Reported.
|
gr8stwoman
Napa, CA
age: 41
|
One word comes to mind... Bipolar?
|
kenny_aust
Queensland
Australia
age: 65
|
Get a Job and a life Tony
You useless individual
|
paradise16
Rockford, IL
age: 48
|
CIRCLE the sentence clauses, and then see what sense it makes to you. English 101, disect the sentences.
|
garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
|
Oh yeah, I agree, SCREAMS BIPOLAR. I hope she runs and runs fast never looking back!
Nothing against someone who has it, but from one who has lived with a bipolar mate for many years and they did not seek medical help...your g/f just described my life. It never gets better no matter how much she would want it to or try to make it happen.
Medical intervention is necessary and to take the meds is a must to ever have a good quality of life. Your choice...good luck!
|
taylorpetty
Aurora, CO
age: 19
|
I would use it as a positive learning experience
I know it is painful but you need to look deep and if need be do one of the hardest things thereis for a person to do CHANGE
|