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I get these every Spring...
by oooohlalala at 5/10/2015 3:42:59 PM
When there is a lot of traffic. I believe that this is very indicative of what I think of as the Black or low income mentality.
I can't figure out how to paste the message so I will write verbatim:
'You're not even cute in the first place to be demanding who you want, you should be happy if anyone wanna talk to you'
I cannot post this individuals page name because that would not be professional, I'm told. To be truthful, it's not the worst message ever. Some are filled with curse words. One said that I should stop trying, no one wants me so I should just call the author @ the number he left me, lol seriously ?
1st I will say that this makes me visit this site less frequently. Not that I do not know the taboos of being on a dating site. It's pretty much the same as going to a bar. You will not find any quality guys. If you are a woman, you must be garbage because why else would you need to have a page on a site. Somehow it reflects badly on the woman, as most things in life.
2nd I wonder what is 'cute' to this particular individual. More specifically, what characteristics am I missing which would enable me to have a choice about who I respond to on a dating site ?
As for this person, who is Black, shocking... lol
This is my experience & my opinion. I have to put this disclaimer, sad, actually before I say this so that intelligent people will catch my drift. I am hoping that there are intelligent people online who actually want to understand peoples' personal experiences.
I have gotten accustomed to Black people & low income people repeatedly seeking me out to give me the same message. I say this because I have had numerous poor white girls tell me the same thing. I had a white older woman be annoyed with me because I was not timid when talking to her. I have had Hispanic women question me as if I am subservient & try to bolster my confidence. Clearly they don't know me, lol. I guess that is the personality of women who look like me that they have encountered. Actually, I didn't pick up on that one till later... Once, not long ago I had two white guys, one old & one young simultaneously write. Both said 'you are pretty (or something like that). The next messages said send me pictures !!! My question: How does you telling me I'm pretty correlate to me owning you some naked photos ? I digress...
People have been insulted that I do not submit, whatever the situation. They are shocked when people are nice to me & can have a pleasant or intellectual conversation with me. They are confused when I do not carry myself as if I already know that I'm lucky to be in their presence. WTF is that ? I have a college education & I have traveled. I speak proper English, Spanish & some French & Mandarin. I do not carry my degree stmped on my forehead. I do not talk to people about my life experiences, good or bad. I do not piss & moan & complain. I am a firm believer in going after what I want. I am also a firm believer in treating people respectfully until they give me a reason to treat them otherwise. Anyways,
This is the message I am getting:
You do not get to choose.
You get to settle.
You should happy that anyone wants to use you.
You are not humble & you need to be taught a lesson in humility.
You do not deserve the things you have (including your sex) I'm going to take them for myself....
I feel like I have been very clear with my wording on my profile. I have not insulted anyone. I have said what I am looking for. I thought that was the point of that space on the profile page.
Yet, as expected I get undesirables writing me sanctimonious messages.. I had a white guy to write me & say that I hate my own race. I clearly say that I am a combination of races. Which one is he talking about ? lol Where did I say I hate anyone ? If I reply to their misguided & sometimes insulting messages they are even more pissed. Usually if someone is insulting or annoying to me I block them.
My question ? Collectively, on the surface people say they appreciate a strong woman. A woman who knows what she wants (hopefully that is you, understandable). But what people really seem to want is a broken individual who never says no to anything & is happy to be a doormat or a meat puppet for anyone. What does that leave us ? If you never say no to anything, you have diseases, on drugs, look like hell, a bunch of kids who didn't have a chance from the word go, suicidal, homicidal, in jail ??? Definitely not stable enough to even maintain a page on a computer, online... Do you see the conundrum ?
I think it amazing that this is the prevailing mentality & I am being affronted with it online, not just in the street where I avoid it.
I just wonder what the educated, intelligent people on this site think, their experiences etcetera...
& if you are, please don't worry about me, I am still unbroken, regardless of the onslaught. I will maintain my sanity with little exercises like this. They are proving quite cathartic for me... K, done with my rant... thoughts, questions, comments ?
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