Responsible Polyamory

Polyamory is roughly defined as any type of open relationship, whether it’s a couple that’s merely dating or one that’s engaged or married. Essentially it means that both partners in the relationship are allowed to have relationships with others. Some couples use this as a way to spice up their relationship or to make things interesting. However those who successfully have an open relationship follow specific rules.

The most basic rule followed in these relationships relates to honesty. Both partners must inform the other when they have a date or a meeting with another person. When they have sexual intercourse or engage in any type of sexual activity, they also tell their partner.

The second basic rule is to have complete and total openness. Only those who have been in the situation know just how difficult it can be at times. They think they can handle the idea, until they see their significant other out on a date with another person. When a couple makes the decision to stage an open relationship, they need to weigh all the factors carefully along with the pros and cons to make an educated decision about their future.

It's also extremely important that both partners agree to be in an open relationship. They must fully commit to the open relationship lifestyle and understand everything that it entails. It's not about one partner having multiple secondary partners while the primary partner remains oblivious. Both of the partners have to agree and be comfortable with having an open relationship, or it will always be a sore subject and reason for argument.

It's also very important that couples use protection whenever they have intercourse with another person. Some couples take this a step further by making all of their partners take a full STD test prior to engaging in sexual activity. Many couples even make protection their main rule, and if it’s broken, the relationship ends. Having multiple partners can be a breeding ground for STDs, so protection is essential.

For more information about open relationships, take a look at these tips and articles:

• Information About Polyamory: contains basic resources on the idea of polyamory and open marriages.
• Polyamory Newsgroup: newsgroup devoted to polyamory and those who practice it.
• The Polyamory Society: organization for those interested in the lifestyle or those who want to learn more.
• Alternatives to Marriage: discusses the idea of an open marriage as an alternative to the traditional concept.
• Polyamory Weekly : e-zine devoted to polyamory, with topics relating to the rules and basic information for those interested.
• Practical Polyamory: advice and tips from an educated woman and practitioner.
• World Polyamory Association: nonprofit organization devoted to spreading the use of polyamory and clearing up general misconceptions.
• Open Relationship Dos and Don’ts: discusses things couples should and shouldn’t do when in an open relationship.
• Does Open Marriage Work?: looks at polyamory in terms of how it affects a relationship.
• The New Monogamy: discusses how open relationships are a new way of staying with the same person.

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