| 9/8/2012 2:35:35 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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You stated the point of the what do you do question is to make sure they are LEGALLY EMPLOYED right? What is wrong with asking them if they have a legal job? When you ask someone, what do you do?, you are automatically assuming they have a job too but you want to know if they have a job and what the job is. By simply asking if they have a job, the person gets to answer with a simple yes or no rather than stating their occupation and avoiding any awkward silence when they tell you they don't like to talk about their job etc.
It's just not something that should be your business right away. If they make money legally and can provide for themselves, that should be enough for the first date or 2 or whatever. People here(especially women) can't sit here and honestly type that they haven't given the guy that has a very good job and makes a lot of money more chances than the guy that has the minimum wage job. Why continue to deny it?
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| 9/8/2012 2:39:05 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
68, joined Jul. 2007
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I tell her I am a diesel fitter---I hold up lady's underwear--and say--"Yup--diesel fitter....!!"   
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| 9/8/2012 2:59:22 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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aznbarbi3d0ll
Denver, CO
29, joined Jul. 2012
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You stated the point of the what do you do question is to make sure they are LEGALLY EMPLOYED right? What is wrong with asking them if they have a legal job? When you ask someone, what do you do?, you are automatically assuming they have a job too but you want to know if they have a job and what the job is. By simply asking if they have a job, the person gets to answer with a simple yes or no rather than stating their occupation and avoiding any awkward silence when they tell you they don't like to talk about their job etc.
It's just not something that should be your business right away. If they make money legally and can provide for themselves, that should be enough for the first date or 2 or whatever. People here(especially women) can't sit here and honestly type that they haven't given the guy that has a very good job and makes a lot of money more chances than the guy that has the minimum wage job. Why continue to deny it?
Well you wouldn't believe how many guys I have met actually don't have a job or is a legal job. I don't know why all the gang banging drug dealers like me  It seems like its one of those topics you can never ask the right way these days. That's why I said I never ask first or even get a chance to.
I agree with that it's nobody's business or should be that in depth right on the first date.
As far as giving guys with more money chances is untrue with me. I've had plenty of opportunities and given chances to guys with lots of money but don't care about that because usually they are stuck up, overconfident, flashy, and arrogant. Besides I can take care of myself without having to look for someone to take care of me. A lot of guys with less money value more important things because they can't buy everything or everyone. Not every girl is as shallow as you may think. Only the ones without goals, drive, and ambition seem to be looking for guys with lots of money. Nowadays girls make their own money and have to be careful with clingy jobless or broke kind of guys. Roles are becoming reversed in society on the bread winners.
All I really care is that he has a legal job and can sufficiently take care of himself without my aid.
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| 9/8/2012 3:05:03 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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swift61
Sacramento, CA
30, joined Aug. 2012
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Well you wouldn't believe how many guys I have met actually don't have a job or is a legal job. I don't know why all the gang banging drug dealers like me It seems like its one of those topics you can never ask the right way these days. That's why I said I never ask first or even get a chance to.
I agree with that it's nobody's business or should be that in depth right on the first date.
As far as giving guys with more money chances is untrue with me. I've had plenty of opportunities and given chances to guys with lots of money but don't care about that because usually they are stuck up, overconfident, flashy, and arrogant. Besides I can take care of myself without having to look for someone to take care of me. A lot of guys with less money value more important things because they can't buy everything or everyone. Not every girl is as shallow as you may think. Only the ones without goals, drive, and ambition seem to be looking for guys with lots of money. Nowadays girls make their own money and have to be careful with clingy jobless or broke kind of guys. Roles are becoming reversed in society on the bread winners.
All I really care is that he has a legal job and can sufficiently take care of himself without my aid.
I'm glad there a growing number of independent women out there; but the idea that your at a point where you have to worry about a guys jobs being "legal" these days is unfortunate
[Edited 9/8/2012 3:05:21 AM ]
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| 9/8/2012 3:06:35 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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My point was that if a woman knows what a man does for a living and it pays really well, she will give him more chances than the guy that just tells her that he has a legal job and that he doesn't like to discuss such personal matters right away.
We might agree that it's no one's business right away but MANY here disagree with us. It's so funny too because a lot of posters state that as long as they can pay their bills, they will date them no matter the job as long as it's legal but then state that they NEED TO KNOW what the job or career is. It's a complete contradiction and it happens a lot on these forums. Asking if they have a job is one thing, but to ask them EXACTLY what that job or career is is completely different and it's used to ballpark their INCOME.
Again, if just them having a LEGAL JOB is all that is important, you DO NOT need to know what said job or career is so early in the dating stage.
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| 9/8/2012 3:14:50 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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aznbarbi3d0ll
Denver, CO
29, joined Jul. 2012
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^^^ Ok I get your point. Maybe girls do ask to ballpark a guy's income and guys ask us to do the same. Honestly I think some of the criteria you are inclined to answer on your profile is STUPID. Why do they ask those questions like job or income level anyways? It's like that argument the other day about body weight not being asked or above average/a few extra pounds is misleading.
It should be male or female? Post a recent full body pic and The End. Everything else... Ask! Make conversation and stop judging people by what they can say on here for criteria. (and I thought dating was difficult in person but online is way worse)
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| 9/8/2012 3:14:57 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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rondag
Williamsburg, OH
52, joined Mar. 2009
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What you do for a living tells a lot about you.
Are you an auto mechanic? You get down and dirty without too much danger, reasonable salary potential, may be a car nut etc...
Do you work with computers? Probably nerdy with the expectation of nerdy things.
Doctors/lawyers are self explanatory.
Police officer lives a dangerous life... some women are attracted to it.
The job you do says more about you than just how much you make. It tells what kind of life style you live, what a good portion of your interests are etc. This is what you chose to do for yourself. I have no problem with being asked this question and am often asked by people I am not even considering dating.
I beg to differ ,,,I don't think it defines a person. A person can be totally different in their likes and dislikes,not having anything to do with what they do for a living.
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| 9/8/2012 3:19:41 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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^^^ Ok I get your point. Maybe girls do ask to ballpark a guy's income and guys ask us to do the same. Honestly I think some of the criteria you are inclined to answer on your profile is STUPID. Why do they ask those questions like job or income level anyways? It's like that argument the other day about body weight not being asked or above average/a few extra pounds is misleading.
It should be male or female? Post a recent full body pic and The End. Everything else... Ask! Make conversation and stop judging people by what they can say on here for criteria. (and I thought dating was difficult in person but online is way worse)
Because the criteria listed is obviously very important when dating and finding someone to be in a relationship with. You do realize that you can search by income or anything else right? You can seriously choose to only look for women or men within certain income brackets. I say that's fine as long as you yourself are also within the same bracket. People here will claim until they are blue in the face that it doesn't matter but the fact of the matter is, I bet a lot here have searched purely based on income or when looking at a profile, it's one of the first things their eyes look at.
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| 9/8/2012 3:20:50 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
68, joined Jul. 2007
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Usually--everyone knows what I do--"HEY-didn't you do CPR on my EX-husband??" I am done grieving---stop by sometime!!
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| 9/8/2012 3:35:35 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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aznbarbi3d0ll
Denver, CO
29, joined Jul. 2012
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Because the criteria listed is obviously very important when dating and finding someone to be in a relationship with. You do realize that you can search by income or anything else right? You can seriously choose to only look for women or men within certain income brackets. I say that's fine as long as you yourself are also within the same bracket. People here will claim until they are blue in the face that it doesn't matter but the fact of the matter is, I bet a lot here have searched purely based on income or when looking at a profile, it's one of the first things their eyes look at.
The criteria is important but that's not how everyone in the real world searches. Criteria doesn't mean you have true chemistry with that person either. In fact people should be encouraged to write more on their profile to tell about themselves more. I haven't searched for any specific type of criteria on here so I wouldn't have known that. But that's interesting, personal, and ridiculous.
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| 9/8/2012 3:40:45 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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niceguyinvegas
Las Vegas, NV
52, joined Jan. 2012
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Also rich and beautiful want nothing to do with poor.
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| 9/8/2012 3:43:54 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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Online allows people to be more honest with themselves in private. I really think everyone should just wear signs around their neck that states their job and or income. It would make things a lot easier.
This site does precisely that. I always tell the guys that whine about women not responding to their messages to increase their income. Sure, it's lying, but it gets women to respond. I have done this twice and each time, my profile views go up and so do my returned messages. I also get woman emailing me first which hardly ever happens to me when I have my income and occupation not listed or as other.
I actually think it's better that the income(assuming it is accurate)is listed because it helps waste a lot of time. Like I stated earlier, most of the time, you ask what do you do when you are already on the date. The girl or guy will continue to date said person to get free meals and or to wait for the BBD to come around. At least here, they know ahead of time the person's income and occupation(if it's listed and accurate).
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| 9/8/2012 3:44:14 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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Also rich and beautiful want nothing to do with poor.
And why would they?
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| 9/8/2012 3:51:47 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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niceguyinvegas
Las Vegas, NV
52, joined Jan. 2012
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Because the criteria listed is obviously very important when dating and finding someone to be in a relationship with. You do realize that you can search by income or anything else right? You can seriously choose to only look for women or men within certain income brackets. I say that's fine as long as you yourself are also within the same bracket. People here will claim until they are blue in the face that it doesn't matter but the fact of the matter is, I bet a lot here have searched purely based on income or when looking at a profile, it's one of the first things their eyes look at.
Which proves once again most women are gold diggers. I an to honest to do this, but if I made up a profile saying i'm a very busy Doctor or lawyer I would get all kinds of hits and phone numbers because they think they hit the jackpot.This is the sad reality of today's society, the guy can be an absolute a** but spending money in the mall sure feels good.That is why i'm single, because I'm not a rich scumbag.The truth is the rich scumbag sees more action in a week than I will in a year, sad but true, bottom line women don't want nice honest men.
Maybe when I get my inheritance and buy that nice house ill have a shot.it is really a sick world.
[Edited 9/8/2012 3:54:06 AM ]
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| 9/8/2012 3:56:07 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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Not about being a golddigger. Most people want the best life possible and realize that the more money they have, the better quality of life they can live. Why in the world wouldn't a woman go for the guy that can give her the life she wants? Makes perfect sense to me. Money rules the world and mostly everything can be solved with it.
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| 9/8/2012 4:02:33 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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niceguyinvegas
Las Vegas, NV
52, joined Jan. 2012
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Not about being a golddigger. Most people want the best life possible and realize that the more money they have, the better quality of life they can live. Why in the world wouldn't a woman go for the guy that can give her the life she wants? Makes perfect sense to me. Money rules the world and mostly everything can be solved with it.
ok for the sake of argument, what if the guy is loaded, but he beats the shit out of her or mentally abuses her, do trips to the mall fix that? is a fancy car worth being treated like shit? not to paint wealthy with a broad brush but a guy making 25K a year could treat a woman like a goddess, but just cant afford the Porsche.I think many have a twisted value system and money dosn't cure all problems.I know rich people that hate their lives.
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| 9/8/2012 4:05:02 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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That is an extreme example you used but yeah, if she had no where to go or no money and was used to the rich life, she would put up with him probably.
How is the guy only making 25,000 going to be able to give her everything she wants in life? Treating her like a goddess would require more than 25,000 a year. Is a pinto or Honda better than a Porsche? Money simply makes life easier and more enjoyable. Usually, that means you are happier.
[Edited 9/8/2012 4:07:24 AM ]
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| 9/8/2012 4:10:28 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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calthropstu
Phoenix, AZ
36, joined Aug. 2012
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Because the criteria listed is obviously very important when dating and finding someone to be in a relationship with. You do realize that you can search by income or anything else right? You can seriously choose to only look for women or men within certain income brackets. I say that's fine as long as you yourself are also within the same bracket. People here will claim until they are blue in the face that it doesn't matter but the fact of the matter is, I bet a lot here have searched purely based on income or when looking at a profile, it's one of the first things their eyes look at.
I honestly don't really pay much attention at all to it... Because I'm in the 50-75 bracket, I have no problem with someone 1 bracket higher or 1-2 brackets lower. My priorities:
First I look at picture. Is she at least moderately attractive?
Then I check for smoking.
Then I read the profile.
If all of these are ok, I check the rest of it.
I disregard the amount listed but do pay attention to what they do... at this point I'm looking to pick up on what they do, how to engineer an approach and what they do can be an easy starter question. Are they in health services? What area of expertise? Nurse? Radiology? Are they in finance? It's a great conversation starter/ice breaker, and since it's something they do most of the day they are bound to have feelings about it one way or another. Maybe they hate their job maybe they love it. Doesn't matter, once the conversation gets started you're better able to manage. It's an ice breaker.
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| 9/8/2012 4:17:02 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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^^^So screw their hobbies, interests, how their day was, weekend was, favorite color, favorite kind of music/band, favorite food or ice cream etc and go right for how they make their money? Gotcha.
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| 9/8/2012 4:25:52 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hazeleyedgirl12
Roseburg, OR
36, joined Oct. 2011
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I usually ask just to make conversation. And because I like to hear about what a person does. Its a part of who they are.
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| 9/8/2012 4:31:46 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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^^^^Link?
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| 9/8/2012 4:32:50 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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83brokencidem
Monroe, CT
33, joined Mar. 2012
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i dont mind a women asking me what i do for work however when im asked how much i make, yea then i say kick rocks
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| 9/8/2012 7:34:09 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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knight_n_waitin
Detroit, MI
54, joined Apr. 2011
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I dont know just my opinion but maybe because if u dont have a job dont have a vehicle and dont have your own place to stay you probably shouldnt be dating but lookin to get the "BASICS"!!!! Just a thought....
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| 9/8/2012 7:38:40 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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2muchfreetime
Rochester, MN
56, joined Aug. 2012
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How much does kicking rocks pay?
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| 9/8/2012 9:12:24 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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iculking
Detroit, MI
46, joined May. 2011
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Sometimes you have to make sure that they have their on source of income....some men are gold diggers as well......ijs
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| 9/8/2012 5:38:42 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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^^^So screw their hobbies, interests, how their day was, weekend was, favorite color, favorite kind of music/band, favorite food or ice cream etc and go right for how they make their money? Gotcha.
You learn something new everyday.
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| 9/8/2012 5:59:39 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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babyblues707
Suisun City, CA
33, joined May. 2011
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I ask cuz I don't wanna meet someone who is looking for a handout...i got a good job, my own house n raise my kids without any help.... there's too many thirsty dudes now a days!
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| 9/8/2012 7:04:04 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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cherie1120
New Port Richey, FL
38, joined Aug. 2012
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It's not the first thing I ask, but I do ask about it. I really don't care what he does for a job, as long as he has one~
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| 9/8/2012 7:09:37 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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meghan4god
Chandler, AZ
32, joined Sep. 2012
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I always ask as well. A LOT of guys on this site only say they want long term cause they need something. A guy either has no car, no job, a drug addict, etc. I have my life together. I want someone who also has their life together. Trust me so many on these sites do not.
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| 9/8/2012 7:11:08 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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morganpreston
Lexington, KY
28, joined Nov. 2011
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Same reason I ask them wtf they do for a living. To see how much they are worth
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| 9/8/2012 7:12:30 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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wendyrmiles
Bluefield, WV
42, joined Jul. 2012
online now!
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I do ask this question but it is because I am interested in what he does. I love what I do and the very next question I ask is does he enjoy his job. I am looking for someone who has a job and not because I need his money but I have 2 kids I already up keep I do not need a 3rd.
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| 9/8/2012 7:18:44 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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singlelifesweet
Waterford, CT
59, joined May. 2012
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OP Tell me when I should ask such a question? Would you say you feel that way about other topics too? Maybe your age or whether you have children or a pet?
I thought we were getting to know each other, How far into the future should someone wait and find out if you even
have a job? Last but not least what do you do for a living op?
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| 9/8/2012 7:19:34 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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stilkikin
Lexington, KY
59, joined Feb. 2012
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.
.
.
<-- Doctor, Pilot, Navy seal, Plumber, Carpenter, Engineer, Sculptor, Lawyer, Window washer, oh yeah, Bullshitter..
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| 9/8/2012 8:21:04 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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summ70
Windsor, ON
45, joined Sep. 2012
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Not true @ all. Maybe your reading too much into that. I ask if you travel too Canada much.
Its just a convo, nothing personal.
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| 9/8/2012 8:23:46 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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dolphingal1
East Greenwich, RI
56, joined Oct. 2008
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It doesn't mean they are asking "how much money do you make?" Maybe its just to break the ice, show some interest. You could answer that you are a male stripper and I would turn the other way. Just not my preference. Whatever you do is fine for you, but maybe not for everybody.
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| 9/8/2012 8:25:34 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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missie3laine
Itháki
Greece
25, joined Jun. 2011
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Well it is something else they learn about you. Plus if they find your work interesting it could be a good conversation topic.
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| 9/8/2012 8:33:15 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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luvless4ever
Bethpage, NY
55, joined Aug. 2012
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not me!cause i hate to be asked either what i do for a living...
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| 9/8/2012 8:39:24 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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ruthsan
Orlando, FL
54, joined Oct. 2010
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They wanna know you can hold down a job and pay for your own things (and theirs)....
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| 9/8/2012 9:16:36 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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pk0357
Eastlake, OH
40, joined Jan. 2010
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I've never been asked that first off by a lady.
Don't be so quick to think they are gold digging. Maybe this is a topic they feel comfortable with to use as an ice breaker.
Let it play out some Op, then decide if she is a digger or not.
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| 9/8/2012 9:30:42 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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browneyz
San Diego, CA
97, joined Jan. 2008
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men ask it of one another, just a opener for polite conversation.
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| 9/8/2012 9:31:11 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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In my experience and with talking with friends, if a woman doesn't ask you what do you do within the first couple of questions, she isn't interested in you.
Stop with the BS that someones job says a lot about that person. It's a way to make money period. If jobs and careers did not pay any money, no one would have any. What do you do is a perfect way of figuring out someone's income without directly asking them.
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| 9/8/2012 9:32:55 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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musicdesign
Moodus, CT
54, joined Apr. 2007
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I don't do it. I am more interested in his hobbies and if he wants a relationship.
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| 9/8/2012 9:33:17 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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men ask it of one another, just a opener for polite conversation.
I have never asked any other guy what he does for a living. NEVER. If someone volunteers that information, I will talk about it but I have never pry into someone else's personal life like that.
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| 9/8/2012 9:34:41 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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gfjf
Niagara Falls, NY
35, joined Jul. 2009
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Politically correct response: It's a third of your life, so how is asking that not getting to know you?
Nail on the head response: Yes, every woman is a not very smart gold-digger after your money who can't even come up with one question without revealing her avaricious designs on you., you paranoid misogynist git.
"Misogynist" is probably the most overused and grossly misused term of today. Anything a guy says that isn't glowing about a woman, and out comes the word with such clockwork expectancy that a man can set his watch to it. But oddly enough, while women perpetually say vicious things about men from sun up to sun down, no one seems to appropriately point out women being misandrists. In fact, the culture of misandry is so deep in America/Canada/UK that society accepts it, evidenced by how men even jump in and help out with the man-bashing (this board is full of examples of that up to the brim).
There was nothing "misogynistic" about the OP's post. Not even a little bit. Suspicious? Sure. Paranoid? Perhaps. But what women tend not to accept is that much of this comes from men having had so many dealings that turned out to support the suspicion. We'd all like to live in a world where people don't judge each other based on status, but at the end of the day it's just not the world we live in. And if we're going to fool ourselves into thinking that many women don't judge a man's dating worthiness on his status, then we should also fool ourselves into believing in riding on unicorns and sliding down rainbows...
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| 9/8/2012 10:19:48 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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gord123
Swartz Creek, MI
47, joined Jul. 2012
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Do you come to the U.S. Often?
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| 9/8/2012 10:20:52 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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amargosa
Riddle, OR
57, joined Aug. 2011
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They just want to make sure that they are not going to have to support your ass.
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| 9/8/2012 10:23:29 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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They just want to make sure that they are not going to have to support your ass.
Again, if this is the case, why not just simply ask a person if they have a job or not?
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| 9/8/2012 10:43:25 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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forsalecheep
Hollywood, FL
51, joined Jul. 2012
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Maybe it's due to the 1988 Honda you drive, thinking poor... Drug dealer?
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| 9/8/2012 11:02:14 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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1sly
Pahrump, NV
58, joined Dec. 2008
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~
That has NEVER EVER been my first question! Nor my 2nd, 3rd, 4th ect... question!
I usualy ask someone that I want to get to know what their hobbies are.
Sly
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| 9/8/2012 11:12:45 PM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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lovemystical
Clarksburg, WV
59, joined Aug. 2012
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since someone else read your profile and said you are self employed , maybe they thought to ask at what ? generally many just say what they do for a living with out having to ask . some men are very proud to tell you what they do some are just interested to know and think maybe you have something in common with them, does not mean their a gold digger .
[Edited 9/8/2012 11:15:02 PM ]
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| 9/9/2012 12:16:23 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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brecktexas
Breckenridge, TX
30, joined Jul. 2009
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I have no answer but I feel that its a legitimate question, they have to know if you are a worker and committed. I personally work for the city where I live and I get asked that by a lot of women, I will ask them what they do but I agree its just a conversation starter.
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| 9/9/2012 12:17:40 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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amargosa
Riddle, OR
57, joined Aug. 2011
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"Again, if this is the case, why not just simply ask a person if they have a job or not?"
If she is a lawyer and you are a paperboy, she is still going to have to support your ass. Just saying.
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| 9/9/2012 12:21:36 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
online now!
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They don't want to support an unemployed guy.
It looks lazy if you're out of work.
Women think it's more MACHO if you can pay your own bills.
Traditionally men support the woman and kids.
She wants to think her economic future will improve if she marries you.
You look more IN CONTROL of your life and that's more MACHO.
Men usually identify themselves with their work.
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| 9/9/2012 1:04:25 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
35, joined Aug. 2010
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"Again, if this is the case, why not just simply ask a person if they have a job or not?"
If she is a lawyer and you are a paperboy, she is still going to have to support your ass. Just saying.
Wait wait wait, many here state that as long as the person has a job, it doesn't matter what the job is as long as they can support themselves. Are you saying most people here are contradicting themselves? Are you actually admitting that a person's job and career is extremely important because of MONEY? Prepare to be outcast. The truth and facts do not belong on datehookup.
[Edited 9/9/2012 1:05:13 AM ]
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| 9/9/2012 1:29:20 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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calthropstu
Phoenix, AZ
36, joined Aug. 2012
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Wait wait wait, many here state that as long as the person has a job, it doesn't matter what the job is as long as they can support themselves. Are you saying most people here are contradicting themselves? Are you actually admitting that a person's job and career is extremely important because of MONEY? Prepare to be outcast. The truth and facts do not belong on datehookup.
truth has no place anywhere I'm afraid. That's why the politicians are the ones charge those who lie biggest win...
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| 9/9/2012 1:31:12 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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amargosa
Riddle, OR
57, joined Aug. 2011
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Wait wait wait, many here state that as long as the person has a job, it doesn't matter what the job is as long as they can support themselves. Are you saying most people here are contradicting themselves? Are you actually admitting that a person's job and career is extremely important because of MONEY? Prepare to be outcast. The truth and facts do not belong on datehookup.
Son, if she is the owner of Viacom and you are a grocery delivery boy, you are not going to be living the lifestyle of a grocery delivery boy for very long.
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| 9/9/2012 1:33:09 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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soulmusiq000
Washington, DC
24, joined Jul. 2012
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Maybe i just meet the gold diggers, but it seems like before a woman gets to know me at all they want to know what I do for a living. If i am wrong, let me know but it seems like after exchanging names, it should not be the next question. Let me know what you think.
I think you are just being paranoid. Thats just regular conversation. Just because someone askes you want you do for a living doesnt mean they are a gold digger. That is just basic things you ask when your getting to know someone. Just because some women in the past might have acted that way towards you doesnt mean ALL women have that motive who ask you that question.
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| 9/9/2012 3:31:56 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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chris_90352
Sykesville, MD
42, joined Sep. 2010
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You stated the point of the what do you do question is to make sure they are LEGALLY EMPLOYED right? What is wrong with asking them if they have a legal job? When you ask someone, what do you do?, you are automatically assuming they have a job too but you want to know if they have a job and what the job is. By simply asking if they have a job, the person gets to answer with a simple yes or no rather than stating their occupation and avoiding any awkward silence when they tell you they don't like to talk about their job etc.
It's just not something that should be your business right away. If they make money legally and can provide for themselves, that should be enough for the first date or 2 or whatever. People here(especially women) can't sit here and honestly type that they haven't given the guy that has a very good job and makes a lot of money more chances than the guy that has the minimum wage job. Why continue to deny it?
"Do you have a job?" is a closed-ended question: the answer is usually "yes" or "no" (or "maybe" or "I don't want to tell you" or "I don't know"), and then you are scrambling around, looking for another closed-ended question that goes nowhere to interrogate your date with. (Try "are you married", "do you have kids", "do you like sex", "what's your sign", or something like that next, I guess.)
"Tell me about what you do for a living" - and variations on that theme - is a more open-ended question: an invitation to provide a full, meaningful answer using your date's knowledge, insight, and feelings about the subject. You might get a closed ended answer anyway ("I have a job and that's all you need to know", "I'm unemployed", "I don't want to tell you", "I don't know"), but chances are good that your date will instead spend some time telling you about what they like about the job, or they'll complain about how much they hate their job, or about how the boss is a dirty diaper who won't get off their back, or about their coworkers, or a couple interesting (or not-so-interesting) stories about the sorts of things they see or do on the job, or whatever. And, if you're lucky enough to get a good open-ended answer because your date can actually hold a conversation, then you'll learn something about your date's personality, background, goals, and so on. Even if your date just grunts and gives as little information as possible, you still learned something.
I can't speak for everyone when they ask about their dates' jobs, but for me, knowing exactly what my date does for a living is far less important and interesting, than how she answers the question.
Does she brag about how much money she makes, or complain about how little she makes? Money might be a very important subject for her... if you aren't comfortable with that, you just found out right away.
Does she have anything positive to say about her job, or is it all complaints? A job is a lot like a committed relationship - if she can't find anything positive to say about it, or if she tends to commit herself to jobs that don't make her happy and then she refuses to actively change anything, that could be a bad sign of things to come for your relationship.
Is she evasive or uncomfortable about what she does for a living? Maybe it's something humiliating, or something illegal, or maybe she's a spy... in any case, are you sure you want to be around her?
Does she avoid talking about her coworkers? Maybe that means she doesn't get along with them very well... or maybe she gets along with them TOO well, and doesn't want to talk about the men and women she has her office flings with.
...and so on.
By the same token, rather than complaining about the question, or just saying "I sell used cars, next question", perhaps you can get a lot more mileage from treating "what do you do for a living" as an opportunity to make conversation and tell your date what you want her to hear: she's given you control of the answer, do something useful with that control, and with your answer.
And, it's such an easy question to turn around and fire back at your date after you've answered it, so she can do her fair share of filling the awkward silences that so many daters struggle with - and you can actually ask an interesting variation on the question! "Tell me about what you do for a living - is it what you thought you'd be doing when you were growing up?" "What's the most challenging part of your job, and the most rewarding part?" "What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen at your job?" "So, you don't want to talk about your job... I bet you're a spy, aren't you? So, do you get shot at very often?"
[Edited 9/9/2012 3:33:50 AM ]
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| 9/9/2012 3:32:58 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
68, joined Jul. 2007
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Most want to know if I am really a parole violator.
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| 9/9/2012 3:33:05 AM |
Why is the first question women ask is what you do for a living? |
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rondag
Williamsburg, OH
52, joined Mar. 2009
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That has NEVER EVER been my first question! Nor my 2nd, 3rd, 4th ect... question!
I usualy ask someone that I want to get to know what their hobbies are.
Sly
Mine either!
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