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9/27/2012 10:32:48 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
freaklkme68
Cincinnati, OH
46, joined Feb. 2011


It has been 3 years today an I made a post in his memory like every year. I don't rub it in his face in fact I keep it in most of the time. I should be able to talk to him about this without feeling guilty should I




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9/27/2012 2:04:06 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

luckylouie42
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,131)
Cedar Grove, WV
72, joined Mar. 2008
online now!


run away as fast as you can.

9/27/2012 2:52:32 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
24milkduds
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,765)
San Francisco, CA
56, joined Mar. 2012


I haven't had any one new so but your new boyfriend should be understanding..great memories are just that and to be jealous is is immature..just saying..

9/27/2012 7:29:21 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
sunshine_761
Meridian, MS
53, joined May. 2011


Quote from freaklkme68:
It has been 3 years today an I made a post in his memory like every year. I don't rub it in his face in fact I keep it in most of the time. I should be able to talk to him about this without feeling guilty should I


In my opinion he is insecure. Not a good thing in a relationship. I was dating a man who told me that I would always love my late husband and that made him wonder if I could ever give him my whole heart. He felt like I would be holding somethng back. A part of myself that he would never have access to. On my late husband's birthday I went to the cemetary to change the flowers. It was really difficult and I couldn't talk to my boyfriend about it. He is a very good man but doesn't understand. I think it's mainly because he hasn't lost a spouse to death.

My opinion is if you can't lean on them when things are difficult for you regarding your late spouse how can they say they truly love you? Loving someone is being there for them through good and bad.

9/27/2012 9:27:39 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

whistlerblue
Lancaster, CA
57, joined Jun. 2010


Quote from freaklkme68:
It has been 3 years today an I made a post in his memory like every year. I don't rub it in his face in fact I keep it in most of the time. I should be able to talk to him about this without feeling guilty should I


My beloved Jenny passed away a little over 3 years ago also. With My first relationship after her passing, "D" didn't want to hear anything about her and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere that I had done/gone with Jenny. I was so lonely, I stayed with her almost a year. My eyes finally opened one day and I stepped away from that. With my new relationship, it is quite different. "L" is much more understanding. I lost Jenny to cancer and "L" lost her sister and mother to cancer. She doesn't mind me talking about Jenny and I listen to her talk about her sister and mother. Our sadness has given us something in common and we understand a lot of feelings we share. We respect each other's past and memories. There is some potential for us but we will take things nice and slow. We have agreed that even if all we do is become friends, well, that is okay. I am very fortunate.

My advice is to find someone who will allow you to talk about and remember your spouse. If they can't allow you to do so, then it might be time to find someone else or at least drop the person you're with. It's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.



Bob aka WhistlerBlue

9/27/2012 10:11:06 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
drilldo311
Hooper, CO
36, joined Sep. 2012


I think that our deceased spouse is a part of our life. Sometimes the most important. We don't have to hide ourselves. No matter what happens I love my wife. If new people in our lives feel jealous. They might feel like they can't measure up. I don't think they have too. I understand and hope you understand life goes on.

9/28/2012 10:55:49 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

hugandakiss_xo
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,590)
Merritt, NC
60, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


Yes I had some one to say quit comparing the two of them. I never did but I did speak about things we did together. He took it as comparing. I think I should be able to talk about my past. It is a part of who I am and why I am.

How in the hell should some one be jealous of a ghost ?

9/28/2012 1:51:42 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

chriswva
Over 2,000 Posts (2,449)
Ripley, WV
40, joined Nov. 2009


Im struggling over these emotions myself April died four months ago and i don't know how to go on

9/28/2012 5:48:21 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
sunshine_761
Meridian, MS
53, joined May. 2011


Quote from chriswva:
Im struggling over these emotions myself April died four months ago and i don't know how to go on


I'm so sorry for your loss Chris. All I can say is give it time. You will never forget your wife. She will always be a very important part of you. If you find the right person (assuming you want to) they will understand that. If someone doesn't understand then they are not the right person for you. Four months isn't long after such a shock to your system. And the death of a spouse is a shock to our system. I don't know if you are a Christian or not. I don't know how people deal with the loss of a spouse without Christ. If you are a Christian lean on Him and talk to Him. He already knows how you feel but you need to say it. You may even try journaling. It kept me sane.

Hugs.

9/29/2012 4:26:24 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

carolyne4u
Cookeville, TN
64, joined Jun. 2012
online now!


I agree, you should be able to talk about it.

10/6/2012 1:05:53 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
585vw
Storrs Mansfield, CT
45, joined Oct. 2012


Many have no idea, they lack the first hand knowledge of what it is like to have someone just be gone from your life and be no ones choice. Just not here. It is hard to relate without having felt it first hand. It took me months to stop wondering if this was real and it is real. I geuss we just forgive ignorance and hope the best and keep going on living.

10/9/2012 11:16:33 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
countryguy42206
Auburn, KY
56, joined Apr. 2012


Losing a spouse to death is so much different than losing a spouse to divorce. 1st wife divorced me after almost 7 years, and lost my 2nd wife to cancer after almost 19 years of marriage. Divorce was a lot easier to accept and move on from, at least for me.

Has been almost 4 years since Debbie died, I had one serious relationship a year ago. She couldn't accept that I still had photos of Debbie in the house, or that I still have frequent visits with Debbie's family - they're my family too. There were some other problems in the new relationship and I ended it when I realized that I was hurting more being with the new person.

No one will ever replace a dearly loved deceased spouse. But the right person should accept that the deceased spouse is and always will be a part of who we are. If they can't - they're not the right person for us.

10/10/2012 6:36:27 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
jkat7
Fairfax, VA
40, joined Oct. 2012


I agree country guy. I hope these people exist! I sort of think we are probably better off with others widowers. I'd hate to rule out the rest of the world but I'm not too confident others could understand fully.

10/10/2012 6:38:03 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
jkat7
Fairfax, VA
40, joined Oct. 2012


I'm sorry about your wife. We're all hear to listen and help where possible.

10/26/2012 2:01:59 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
freetzie
Mechanicsburg, PA
70, joined Oct. 2012


Yes I had a new lover apparently jealous of my deceased husband. He said he would give me a year to get over it. In my own home he told me to put pictures of my husband away and anything else that reminded me of him. Being stupid, I did it! I am about done with him and will get any picture out that I want. This is my home, he lived here for about two months and I kicked him out for another reason.

10/26/2012 4:24:49 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (146,483)
Assumption, IL
66, joined May. 2010


No!

10/28/2012 12:07:00 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

sunnydee7777
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,649)
Clermont, FL
65, joined Aug. 2011


Quote from freetzie:
Yes I had a new lover apparently jealous of my deceased husband. He said he would give me a year to get over it. In my own home he told me to put pictures of my husband away and anything else that reminded me of him. Being stupid, I did it! I am about done with him and will get any picture out that I want. This is my home, he lived here for about two months and I kicked him out for another reason.


Good for you...

10/28/2012 12:14:46 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
realoldtimers
Toledo, WA
64, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from freetzie:
Yes I had a new lover apparently jealous of my deceased husband. He said he would give me a year to get over it. In my own home he told me to put pictures of my husband away and anything else that reminded me of him. Being stupid, I did it! I am about done with him and will get any picture out that I want. This is my home, he lived here for about two months and I kicked him out for another reason.

You did the right thing I have run into the same situation but they told me on the phone that if they come over all pics or anything my wife own had to go. So I told her that was not going to happen that was the last time I talk to her

10/28/2012 12:17:58 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (146,483)
Assumption, IL
66, joined May. 2010




10/31/2012 3:47:51 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

imdennislynn
Burnham, PA
75, joined May. 2012


Tell the A(ss)O = hole to get with it or leave.
I do understand why he wants the pics removed...he wants you to move on in your life.
You must be a lonely woman, seeing you had a man in your life soon after your hubby passed. I do undesrtand that 'cause my aunt, married to my real uncle, told me shortly after he died, Dennis, I would never criticize anyone who would find another mate, even as close as your uncle and I were, if it happened a couple weeks after their/his death.
You seem like a very nice person, hang in there, things will get better.

10/31/2012 6:34:13 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (146,483)
Assumption, IL
66, joined May. 2010


Thank you all for supporting BREAST CANCER AWARENESS.

11/1/2012 12:57:31 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

steve4279
New Port Richey, FL
37, joined Jun. 2012


OMFG...My wife died a lill over 7 years now..She was my best friend and lover I ever had in my life..I hold in and cherish her memories as well..My last two X's seemed to rub her in my face a lot..Why be jealous of someone who is dead and gone, whats the point..But I have notied something about these two X's..They where both emotionally crippled with issues, and where incapable of loving..How sad..Some one on here said run..I agree..
The person above me about supporting breast cancer..Very important..We should love our ladies in America..Ladies please stay checked..We need to keep Americas breasts healthy, one boob at a time..

11/8/2012 12:52:24 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

cowboy815
Jefferson, SD
64, joined Apr. 2012


I think when I go on a "date" shes jealous of my ex. The love and the fun of our time together, without her and she can't live up to your late partner life

11/8/2012 9:03:10 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

gentlemanjim1
Over 2,000 Posts (3,935)
Powell, TN
66, joined Oct. 2009
online now!


My recent ex Significant Other was widowed in 2001. I was the first man she dated and got interested in since her husband's death. I was never jealous of her memories or when she talked about him and their relationship. Let's face it, he is gone and not competition for her affections. However, after 6 years of trying to make our roller coaster ride of a relationship work, I now think back and honestly think that the death of her husband has made it difficult if not impossible to love as deeply again. Just wish I figured that out before investing my heart and 6 years into it.

11/8/2012 9:21:21 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
falsedawn
Tacoma, WA
37, joined Apr. 2012


If you were the first after the death maybe you all started your relationship too soon. Once she was in it she didn't know how to get out or it just took her a long time to realize she wasn't ready. you maybe right she may never be able to love that deeply again. I don't think the first person you date after becoming a widow is going to the best match.

11/8/2012 11:06:46 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
idahomama
Orofino, ID
29, joined Jun. 2012


yes my exhusband was jelouse of my first husband (probly y it didnt work out) but I did jump into the relationship to fast. I was scard of losing him to and made stupid choices. Take it slow and realize everybody u love isnt going to die to soon u will get ur happy ending. I also draw comfort knowing hes up there taken care of me and my girls have the best gardian angel ever

11/11/2012 6:11:53 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
nelly54
Austin, TX
60, joined Dec. 2011


Quote from freetzie:
Yes I had a new lover apparently jealous of my deceased husband. He said he would give me a year to get over it. In my own home he told me to put pictures of my husband away and anything else that reminded me of him. Being stupid, I did it! I am about done with him and will get any picture out that I want. This is my home, he lived here for about two months and I kicked him out for another reason.


I love your response; I admire someone to stand up for herself. Keep it going! I lost my husband 3 years ago and is hard when specially if you had a great life with him, but we have to move on, but not to accept someone else to dictate what to do and to forget about our previous life. Good job my friend.

Nelly

11/21/2012 10:17:39 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
dttorrez
Cranston, RI
34, joined Nov. 2012


That's a tough one but regardless your boyfriend has to understand that circumstances like those are extremely difficult to live with .

11/21/2012 3:21:22 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

vida60
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,616)
Norman, OK
54, joined Jul. 2012


No haven't had that to happen, and I do believe that would be a red flag of insecurity

It will only get worse

Comparing the two shouldn't continue if it is indeed happening, but, as far as posting memorials or memoradams and talking about his memory, the new lover should embrace those moments because he could take lessons on how the guy made you happy and/or what he shouldn't do.

Never ever compare anyone to the deceased unless it's positive, of course my children loved to hear how they were like their Dad and I use to joke around saying "that's from your Dad's side" when they would be goofy, we'd just laugh.

11/22/2012 10:06:36 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

gdaddy47
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,307)
Columbia, TN
67, joined Sep. 2009
online now!


I dated a widow and we talked about our "lates" often. It was okay and we both knew what we had to do. I found that she did hold onto her husband's memory very hard and still grieved 7-8 years after his death a little too much in my opinion. When that happened I would just back off and let her have at it. She would snap out of it quickly when I did that. Then we would go back having a good time together. If I ever get serious about another widow it will be with the understanding that we're both totally ready to move on. Don't want or need the drama of a prolonged pity party.

2/16/2013 4:20:13 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (33,190)
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009


Quote from 2comply:
It's selfish and impolite.
We have all lost someone and its not really appropriate to bring it in conversations often. In passing sure but if you make reference to your late spouse twice a day you're pretty much letting him know he can't fill the void. It's bad enough that you were married for so long, talking about him after he's gone is rubbing it in even if you don't see it that way.


I'm hoping that I'm misunderstanding you.

It's selfish and impolite to, what, exactly? The OP says she makes a post once a year about her late spouse.

Losing a father or mother or sibling is different than losing a spouse. Yes, we have all lost someone, and we all deal with it in different ways. No one way better than the other, unless the way is hurting the mourner.

There is no inappropriateness involved in speaking of a deceased love. There may be uncomfortableness on the part of the listener but there is no inappropriateness about it. Most widow/wers know when to bring it up and when to keep it to themselves.

As for "It's bad enough that you were married for so long, talking about him after he's gone is rubbing it in..." What?

So in your mind the person having been married to someone else so long is bad?

Talking about him is rubbing it in? To whom? How?


If a widow/wer's conversation is only about their loss, or about the lost good times, or not wanting to live anymore...then yeah, there's a problem.

If someone just in their going about their lives reminisce, tell a story, are reminded of something, they should feel safe and loved by the person they're with, and comfortable in knowing that they can share any feeling they have and know it'll be OK.

And that should be the case no matter the feeling and what prompted it.

2/17/2013 8:35:24 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
ronnie_42
Lakeland, FL
44, joined Feb. 2013


I lost my fiancee of 2 years in may to hodgkins lymphoma cancer and lung cancer I started dating a couple females and told them and they both said let her go I dont wanna hear about her she is in ground rotting!! It broke my heart I cannot just let go is it wrong that I still miss her?

2/17/2013 10:07:16 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

elusivesugar
Columbus, TX
49, joined Jan. 2013


Quote from ronnie_42:
I lost my fiancee of 2 years in may to hodgkins lymphoma cancer and lung cancer I started dating a couple females and told them and they both said let her go I dont wanna hear about her she is in ground rotting!! It broke my heart I cannot just let go is it wrong that I still miss her?


I am speechless! What heartless remarks they made! I think that people should accept that we will always love people who have moved on. I would no more hide pics of my deceased husband than I would hide pics of my beloved grandmother, who has also passed on. The people who helped make me who I am today have always, and will always be a part of me and my life.

2/18/2013 12:10:25 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
shadowflower
Warren, MI
95, joined Jan. 2013


I was with a Guy like that. It started in the beginning & continued thru the 10 yr relationship. I told him "you don't stop loving someone just because their 'gone'. And that doesn't take away the love I feel for you." It didn't matter. After many tears; hurt feelings; & fights; we finally split... last Sept.

2/18/2013 9:24:14 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

motorcity4570
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,468)
Marysville, MI
65, joined Jun. 2009


~ Its Not Rocket Science
~ You can't change history, Its a part of your past. Good, Bad, Whatever. We learn from history.
~ If someone is trying to make you forget a part of your history, Then all I can say is RUN, RUN FAST, That person has a agenda ( and it won't be a good one ) RUN, get in your car, put on your skates, Jump on a horse ~ But leave.

2/20/2013 12:00:03 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

sunnydee7777
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,649)
Clermont, FL
65, joined Aug. 2011


You said it well Motorcity..

2/20/2013 2:12:28 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
sharonipa
Over 1,000 Posts (1,256)
Coos Bay, OR
70, joined Mar. 2011


No. And this makes me laugh. Who would put up with someone like that? And why? Well, I haven't had any "new lovers", but I can tell you with certainty that I wouldn't put up with that for one minute. There is no reason to. The world is full of decent people, why settle for less than that?

2/20/2013 10:31:22 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

hugandakiss_xo
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,590)
Merritt, NC
60, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


I did have someone that complained about me talking about my deceased husband. What I see people don't understand is they were a part of our lives so long. I was married at 19 and my husband died 35 yrs later. We grew up together and I never dated anyone else.

So if someone asked me about life experiences..

There is nothing else to tell.

This guy wanted me to do away with pictures of us. Plus my husband painted oil paintings and he wanted me to put them away

Needless to say I'm alone again!

2/20/2013 10:50:20 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

103tl1
Nesbit, MS
65, joined Jul. 2011


Quote from hugandakiss_xo:
I did have someone that complained about me talking about my deceased husband. What I see people don't understand is they were a part of our lives so long. I was married at 19 and my husband died 35 yrs later. We grew up together and I never dated anyone else.

So if someone asked me about life experiences..

There is nothing else to tell.

This guy wanted me to do away with pictures of us. Plus my husband painted oil paintings and he wanted me to put them away

Needless to say I'm alone again!


It would be the same as asking us to take down pictures of our children.

This is not a "Do Over". I don't mind starting anew but that's what it is, a new start. I will start from where I am. I am who and what because of my wife. To know me means to understand what made me. Take it as is and move forward with me or move on.

2/20/2013 11:27:59 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

hugandakiss_xo
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,590)
Merritt, NC
60, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


EXACTLY..... I can't erase my past.

2/20/2013 12:13:44 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

103tl1
Nesbit, MS
65, joined Jul. 2011


Quote from hugandakiss_xo:
EXACTLY..... I can't erase my past.


I WILL NOT erase mine.



[Edited 2/20/2013 12:14:16 PM ]

2/20/2013 6:28:31 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (33,190)
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009


I think, for some people, they don't have the capability to understand the different emotions surrounding death as opposed to divorce. They understand only that experience and cannot get outside it to realize just how different it can be, and that the desire to erase and start over--get a do over--is not there.

2/23/2013 11:35:31 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
talentedmom
Colton, CA
59, joined Oct. 2011


I had a wonderful guy, but I had to walk away because he couldn't let his dead wife go. Couldn't live up to her. He believed in his heart that they would be together into eternity. They even had a burial plot together that said so.I never felt like I had a place in his heart or ever could. He even took her flowers every month.
Memories are one thing. It's part of who each of us are. Did not mind talking about our past mates. But I felt like she was still there in their home. I would have never been his special lady. His dead wife had that place.



[Edited 2/23/2013 11:37:41 PM ]

2/24/2013 1:45:53 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

meetme28269
Over 1,000 Posts (1,686)
Mooresville, NC
69, joined Apr. 2011


For sure there is a difference between death and divorce.
Given a choice ,widows are best from my standpoint. No matter what the divorcee says or how much they think they understand,they cannot and do not understand.
I have dated several widows and all have been accepting of discussions of our deceased spouses.
One rule I will never break is comparing my wife to anyone new,my wife never did anything better than a present partner or at least I would never voice that opinion.
Other than that,you can't change history. So have you ever been to Myrtle Beach? Well,yeah,and who do you think was with me? She undoubtedly will have similar experiences.


2/24/2013 2:37:02 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

clemtina
Matthews, NC
60, joined Sep. 2012


Good for you!!!..My husband passed away about 19 years ago. I will always love him, and I do have a couple of pictures of him out....I do think that there's enough room in a person heart to love someone new, and still hold on to the memories of a deceased love one. Good luck in finding that special someone or just being happy with YOU!

2/24/2013 5:24:29 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
cruznwithu
North Branch, MN
68, joined May. 2012


Wow. I don't think I am up to trying another woman now. I think single is better in the long run. Some things are better having only done them once. Like marriage.

2/26/2013 12:26:13 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
wendybaby3
Oklahoma City, OK
43, joined Oct. 2012


No ive never had that problem but my husband and I was together for 19 years hes been dead for four years and wait does this count my ex boyfriend hated that my husband still supports me and our children even tho hes dead use to get real mad about it would that bother any real man I dont think so lol

2/26/2013 2:20:46 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

luckylouie42
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,131)
Cedar Grove, WV
72, joined Mar. 2008
online now!


I have read thru this thread, and i cannot believe the way some men have acted because a woman had a life before her present. This is not what a mentally stable man would do. so find you a real man who is mentally stable enough to handle a real woman, who has history. A man who is jealous of your deceased husband , will only get worse, and continually cause you grief. JMo

2/28/2013 2:42:53 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
weberede
Stoughton, WI
62, joined Jan. 2013


do not stick around, he has never been there, you will always have a spot in your heart for the loved one and if he can't accept DUMP HIM SOOOOOON

2/28/2013 5:31:22 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

catcox
Seattle, WA
53, joined Feb. 2013


That's crazy runnnnnnnnnnn

2/28/2013 9:58:15 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (146,483)
Assumption, IL
66, joined May. 2010




3/3/2013 6:44:40 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

sunnydee7777
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,649)
Clermont, FL
65, joined Aug. 2011


Well said LuckyLouie

3/6/2013 4:19:21 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

jcs0711
San Tan Valley, AZ
52, joined Jan. 2013


you should be able to talk about any part of your life with someone that loves you. if they love you they will understand that it is part of what made you who you are today. and the love you have for the one you lost is a gift you will have forever. but that wont stop you from loving again. or being loved. and the answer would be a yes to your question of jealous people. that comes from there own issues of self worth. dont let them take anything from you or make you feel bad about how you feel. but remember try not to compare the people you meet to the one you lost. that's not good for any one. good luck
john smith yes my real name lol

3/6/2013 4:49:59 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

jcs0711
San Tan Valley, AZ
52, joined Jan. 2013


way to tell it like it is. wouldn't trade my memories for any thing in the world and that includes people who have and haven't passed on why are so many people shallow


3/15/2013 8:40:04 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

sassycatscat
Lake Stevens, WA
51, joined Jul. 2009


omg yes. i had a "lover" that was sooooo jealous of my dead husband that like many of you people out there stated that i finally got to the point i had to kick him not only out of my home, but out of my life,,not only did he want me to take down his pictures but to burn them!!! he called me all kinds of names because i had one picture up. i was a freak,,etc.. i like what was stated by someone earlier in this site,,,the past has made me who i am today, and why be jealous of a ghost..

3/15/2013 4:08:04 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  
realoldtimers
Toledo, WA
64, joined Aug. 2012


I married my wife a year after her husband died she had his pics up it did not bother me. I lost her last may I have dated and one lady started takeing my wifes pics down and we not even seeing each other that much but I had to show her the curb too. I don't why people are like that but they need help not us.

3/15/2013 10:39:19 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

bigolbear61
Yakima, WA
53, joined Dec. 2012


My EX wife was, she over time in a roud about way got rid of everything pics and anything that was part of my late wife to her to only after she drug my down to my lowest self being in life she decided to divorce me taking alot of my things before we got married and all of her stuff, It cost me, but I am happyer with out her even though I didnt want the divorce at the time.
cant change the past but can only go forward, and I am enjoying life but am very gaurded
to not be deceived again

3/18/2013 12:39:12 AM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

mojojoe42
Langley, BC
49, joined May. 2011
online now!


Quote from freaklkme68:
It has been 3 years today an I made a post in his memory like every year. I don't rub it in his face in fact I keep it in most of the time. I should be able to t
alk to him about this without feeling guilty should I[let 'm go.
/quote]
We should never feel guilty. Honestly, if your boyfriend has no understanding of your situation....let 'm go.
I keep on saying that one just doesn't know what it's like until you get there.
And it takes a special one to step into those shoes. I just lost a great girlfriend who can't deal with my life...so grieving all over...

3/18/2013 9:51:12 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

bubbletea4me
Vancouver, BC
50, joined Feb. 2013


Why would we want to forget about our loved ones that have passed on? If we are not thinking of them, then who is?

Someone once asked me do you think of your loved one every day, I replied at the time, "no, I think of them every hour and minute of the day". That was ten years ago,

time has made things less painful, but everyone goes through loss............in their own way and time.

Some of us use emotional detachment, to move on. We all greive differently. Read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's books, she explains it well.

4/30/2013 5:18:10 PM Has anyone ever had a new " lover" be jealous of deceased spouse?  

realandoldtimer
Toledo, WA
64, joined Apr. 2013


I just went though it I thought she was the one, till she started yelling that my wife's nick nacs and pics had to go. The only one that left was her to the curb.