Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer

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6/1/2008 8:32:15 PM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
potpie71 Tacoma, WA age: 36	First off, if you read this and plan to reply, please be kind. This is a very delicate & sensitive matter & I don't need any "bashing" or blasting right now... Helpful, knowledgable comments/suggestions, She is a good girl, gets good grades, is NOT sexually active, no drugs/alcohol/smoking, has never even been in trouble at school. I've raised her by myself since she was 2. Her father has been in & out of the picture due to a drug habit (that started after we had her), and is in prison for the next 2 years. Onto the problem... I've caught her on the computer 4 times now. 1) She wasn't allowed on "my space" (this happened three years ago). Caught her then. Grounded from computer. 2)She went back on again at a friends house and wasn't careful with her info or anything,,, giving her home number out to boys in other states, etc... Grounded from computer until she was 18 and out on her own. This was, again, approx. 3 yrs ago. 3) Just got a computer back in the house a couple months ago... we talked about her being able to use it just for fun stuff... not creating a profile or anthing... BUSTED AGAIN... this time, profile on "tickle". At that point, I thought to myself, "ok, she's not learning from being grounded, etc..., so let's try to do this the safe way" and after much conversation, I helped her create a profile that was safe, etc... 4) Now, I've caught her going to "inappropriate" websites, twice. Don't ask for specifics, but you can imagine, I'm sure. I understand that kids are curious. And it's not even really about that. I've got a very "open door policy" when it comes to this particular subject & we talk about the right's & wrongs, etc... My problem is with the lying and continuing to do things when she knows it's wrong and risks the consequenses anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. I know it could be a helluva lot worse than this, and may seem "trivial" to some who have bigger problems. But I don't want the "bigger" problems to start, and that's what terrifies me!! So, at this point, my only option is to remove the computer from the house. Get rid of it. There goes my entertainment. But, it's worth it, if it keeps her from being tempted to do the wrong thing. I could get a lap top to take with me everywhere, I suppose, but I'd rather have a solution to the "bigger" issue here. LYING & RISK TAKING. I'm at the end of my rope with this. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm terrified and heart broken , and could really use some helpful advise. Has anyone else been through similar, what did you do & did it work? Thanks in advance, Potpie71
6/1/2008 9:15:54 PM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
stac4u Belle Fourche, SD age: 33	Potpie, do you mind me asking how old she is?
6/1/2008 10:01:56 PM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
potpie71 Tacoma, WA age: 36	will sed a private email to ya.
6/2/2008 12:32:45 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
freelyibeme Boston, MA age: 46	Hello Potpie. There may be a few alternatives. You may want to look into fighting this Cyberbattle with softwaresolutions. For instance, if you are concerned about your childs instant messaging habits, there are some applications or programs that you can purchase which give you the power to monitor chat logs. If the problem is more adult...if you know what i mean, you could purchase or download (for free in some cases) software that works with your internet browser giving you parental controls to block unsavory web addresses. Try googling 'parental controls for the web' Good luck!! I have 2 older teens still at home. I can relate!
6/2/2008 4:52:05 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
potpie71 Tacoma, WA age: 36	Thank you SOOOO much for this info. I've heard about internet blocking, but never knew how to go about it. I'll give it a shot right now. Thank you again!!!! Hugs~
6/2/2008 5:32:00 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
potpie71 Tacoma, WA age: 36	DID IT!!!!!!!! Found a free web blocker (k-9). It even asked for an override when I came back to datehookup!! I could cry. Thank you so much for your help with this. I still have to get to the "lying" part of the problem, but this definatly puts my mind at such greater ease... Don't know how to thank someone for peace of mind... but thank you. With everything I have, thank you.
6/2/2008 7:41:19 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
krazy_k8 Barrie, ON age: 25	I suggest a cyber nanny program they are easily available and block any inapproiate websites, they are usually used for younger children, but you can explain to your daughter that until she starts behaving like a grown up you will have to protect her like a child. this does not have to be a mean convorsation, but to the point. sorry just saw that you solved the problem (Good Job ) [Edited 6/2/2008 7:42:53 AM]
6/2/2008 9:20:17 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
freelyibeme Boston, MA age: 46	Quote from potpie71: Thank you SOOOO much for this info. I've heard about internet blocking, but never knew how to go about it. I'll give it a shot right now. Thank you again!!!! Hugs~ It was my pleasure Potpie. Glad to help!
6/2/2008 10:30:44 AM	Any advice, please... teenage daughter problems w/computer
potpie71 Tacoma, WA age: 36	Thanks again to everyone who's been helpful... just the replies are supportive and helpful and very appreciated!! Hugs to all of you!!!!