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11/30/2012 9:34:45 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
38, joined Jul. 2012


Ok, I know times have changed from when I was a teen. But I still don't like the idea of some teenage boy touching my baby. Give me some opinions on what age you think it's ok to let your daughter date. Mine is not liking my decision of 35 yrs old! Don't know why! Lol

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12/1/2012 8:33:28 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
thesingleguy1
Jackson, MS
36, joined Jun. 2011


How old is your daughter?

12/1/2012 10:00:23 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  

anna302010
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,867)
Republic, MO
35, joined Dec. 2010


13 yrs old, with a 2 yr age range on any potential bf and a looooooong talk about emotional/physical and sexual responsability.

12/1/2012 11:23:52 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
38, joined Jul. 2012


She is 13 yrs old. Her bf is 14. I have had serious talks with her about sex, dating, all the consequences. She knows I got pregnant at 17 with her brother and how hard my life has been. I talk to her about everything. And she is open with me. I'm just scared because she is my baby. I also know she is just like me, if I tell her no, she will find a way and do more!

12/1/2012 12:59:38 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
thesingleguy1
Jackson, MS
36, joined Jun. 2011


Eventually its gonna happen if she's dating. What you have to do is keep letting her know that YOU disapprove of it and the consequences behind doing it. Are you two involved in church?

12/1/2012 1:25:59 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  

anna302010
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,867)
Republic, MO
35, joined Dec. 2010


Quote from octoberrose103:
She is 13 yrs old. Her bf is 14. I have had serious talks with her about sex, dating, all the consequences. She knows I got pregnant at 17 with her brother and how hard my life has been. I talk to her about everything. And she is open with me. I'm just scared because she is my baby. I also know she is just like me, if I tell her no, she will find a way and do more!


Sounds like instead of talking to her about physical, emotional and sexual readiness you're just trying to scare her into not "ending up like you".

Personally I think you should try discussing ALL possible outcomes.
What are her hopes and fears for relationships.
Where does she see herself in 5-10 years? school? working? married?
Talk about where YOU see her in 5-10 years, school, work, relationships, etc etc etc.
Talk about what a successful relationship looks and feels like to you AND her.

Make dating a discussion, not a consequence and she might not end up serving life without the possibility of parole...

12/1/2012 2:29:20 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
thesingleguy1
Jackson, MS
36, joined Jun. 2011


Thanks I couldn't have said it better.

12/1/2012 3:43:32 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
38, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from anna302010:
Sounds like instead of talking to her about physical, emotional and sexual readiness you're just trying to scare her into not "ending up like you".

Personally I think you should try discussing ALL possible outcomes.
What are her hopes and fears for relationships.
Where does she see herself in 5-10 years? school? working? married?
Talk about where YOU see her in 5-10 years, school, work, relationships, etc etc etc.
Talk about what a successful relationship looks and feels like to you AND her.

Make dating a discussion, not a consequence and she might not end up serving life without the possibility of parole...


Thanks.. it is good to get others opinions on this..nimble just seeing my baby growing up and it scares the shirt out of me.
I have been letting her see him. I have taken them to movies, etc. I'm there but I still give her a little freedom.

12/1/2012 9:32:49 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
10greekgods
Hartsville, SC
65, joined Oct. 2012


Well Oct.babe got four sons and would smack their butt if they mess a lady up,they haven't.Being like you is not so bad,lol.Remember some things you can control to keep the odds in your favor,like where they go and how late they're out.But be positive with her let her know you have are counting on her to honor your wishes.
10man

ps.
that will be $100 if the advice helps.

12/1/2012 10:19:29 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
fluidpower
Silver Grove, KY
47, joined Oct. 2012


That young...chaperone...if they don't like it...they do go.
You're the parent. Not their friend. To use the phrase "she's just like me" should not be a reason to not do your job. At the age of 13 she needs your protection just as she did when she was 8. She just thinks she doesn't.

12/1/2012 10:48:08 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  

solar_wind75
Bardstown, KY
40, joined Jul. 2012


I was not allowed to date until I was 16, was told to not even bother asking until then. I think 13 is too young, but like fluidpower said, chaperone.

12/1/2012 11:33:01 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
38, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from fluidpower:
That young...chaperone...if they don't like it...they do go.
You're the parent. Not their friend. To use the phrase "she's just like me" should not be a reason to not do your job. At the age of 13 she needs your protection just as she did when she was 8. She just thinks she doesn't.

Oh I have not let her go ANYWHERE without me chapheroning! I've had serious talks with her and the boy. We got into argument last night cause she wanted to go off somewhere with him and his family today.. nope, I only trust my eyes with my daughter.

Thank you for all the great advice..

12/2/2012 3:57:02 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
cbrxxman
West Jordan, UT
47, joined Jul. 2012


Adult supervised date ok. I would not let date alone until at least 16.

12/3/2012 6:39:24 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
bluehope518
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,123)
Prague
Czech Republic
42, joined Jul. 2012




12/4/2012 10:36:10 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
38, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from bluehope518:


hi Blue!!!

12/6/2012 9:18:50 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
wow_cool_name
Over 2,000 Posts (2,302)
Frederick, MD
29, joined Jun. 2012


At 13 and 14, as much as I hate to say it, kids are way, way too sexually active to what I think is appropriate for that age..at least in my area.

I'd approach the issue cautiously, like you have been, but with all honesty and all due respect I'd give the kid a chance. You know your daughter better than anyone, you're the best gauge of her readiness to date.

From what it sounds like to me, as a neutral outside observer, she seems reasonably mature (in the sense that she's open with you, which I also admire on your part for promoting this attitude) and you alone can make that call.

I will say this, I'd rather have my kids kissing and holding hands at 13 or 14 on a date than doing other things on a not-date..

Provide the right environment for the date, and I think you and your daughter (and the guy) will be fine.

12/6/2012 12:10:24 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
flowerlion
Cascade Locks, OR
41, joined Feb. 2012


I am one of those parents that didn't let my daughter date until she was 16 and I had to meet them and if she was going to there house I had to meet his parents and let them know what I expected.

Don't be affaid to set boundaries or be open with your daughter.

I have a very open relationship with mine,

12/6/2012 7:24:11 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
bluehope518
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,123)
Prague
Czech Republic
42, joined Jul. 2012




2/13/2013 1:37:29 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  

mr_imperfect
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,630)
Philadelphia, PA
53, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from octoberrose103:
Oh I have not let her go ANYWHERE without me chapheroning! I've had serious talks with her and the boy. We got into argument last night cause she wanted to go off somewhere with him and his family today.. nope, I only trust my eyes with my daughter.

Thank you for all the great advice..


Good for you.

An ex of mine had a sister in law who was very lax with her boys and both ended up fathers at very young ages.

She'd let them have girls in their rooms unsupervised under the guise of studying with their girlfriends. They were studying alright each others anatomy.

One was 12 and the other 14 or 15 when they got their girlfriends pregnant because momma didnt want to do her job of being a good parent and supervising her boys when they had their little girlfriends over.



[Edited 2/13/2013 1:39:55 AM ]

2/13/2013 9:59:58 AM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
jamie624
Over 2,000 Posts (3,693)
Peoria, AZ
39, joined Apr. 2012


Wow too young. Talk with her and tell her about the do's and dont's That is a hard area and yet it can go south quickly.. Seek professional Advice!

2/13/2013 6:06:57 PM Help! my daughter wants to date!  
mzjuliem
Moreno Valley, CA
52, joined Jan. 2013


Aaahhh yes, the boyfriend stage....

I'm a mother to 4 daughters, 1 in college, high school, middle school, and Elementary.
One thing that I've learned is that not every age group are the same when it comes to a boyfriend /girlfriend relationship.
At age 13 keep it light and simple. Meet his parents first, come to an agreement as to what kind of boundaries you want to set up for them. Whether they are hanging out at your home, his home, the mall, the movies, the park, etc., make sure they have supervision. This is something that you want to discuss with his parents. My 13 year old does not have a boyfriend, but she has friends both girls and boys. They they go on group outings to the mall or to the pizza place, and I make sure that 1 of her sisters or myself are there supervising from a distance.

I I wish you the best of luck, but try not to stress. As long as you have communication with her, give her your trust, until she proves you wrong. It'll be okay.