Joke Of The Day

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6/20/2008 11:54:22 AM	Joke Of The Day
dounix White River Junction, VT age: 45	OK, this little girl asks her Mom how was she created. Mom said well your Dad put his penis in my vagina, we made love, you were created from our love. Little girl says, Mom last night I saw Dads penis in your mouth, what do you get from that?? Mom says, jewelry !!
6/20/2008 2:39:48 PM	Joke Of The Day
simply_me2 Keene, NH age: 26	lmfao nice
6/20/2008 6:32:49 PM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47
6/20/2008 10:45:27 PM	Joke Of The Day
lonelybouncer Gilford, NH age: 23	A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
6/21/2008 12:57:36 AM	Joke Of The Day
simply_me2 Keene, NH age: 26	roflmao
6/29/2008 9:13:36 AM	Joke Of The Day
jules58 Peoria, IL age: 50	A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, "Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge! I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill." Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. "Yep," he said," just what I thought, just about the same size." The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day. When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife, in a spooning position, and softly whispered in her ear, "How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking tonight?" The wife turned over, giving him the cold shoulder. "What's the matter?" he asked. She replied, "You DON'T think that I'm going to fire up this 'big ass grill' for 'one little weenie', do you?"
6/29/2008 4:44:22 PM	Joke Of The Day
lonelybouncer Gilford, NH age: 23	A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you
7/3/2008 6:35:15 PM	Joke Of The Day
lcvt Claremont, NH age: 41	Whats the difference between a womans G-spot and a golf ball???? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.
7/11/2008 11:51:35 AM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47	Her side/His side A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?” The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”
7/14/2008 12:29:40 PM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47	Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs."
7/15/2008 9:44:59 AM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47	One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???" "Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question."
7/15/2008 1:45:01 PM	Joke Of The Day
simply_me2 Keene, NH age: 26	Quote from dazed1961: One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???" "Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question." LMAO
7/16/2008 5:36:08 AM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47	A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings. It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her "you have the nicest breasts". She says "thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you". He replies "I would pay you $10 just to see one of them". She thinks for a minute and decides to do it. He says "Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw....I will give you another $10 if you show me both at the same time". She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says "your best friend just stopped by". He answers "Great did he leave the $20 he owed me"
7/16/2008 5:45:46 AM	Joke Of The Day
simply_me2 Keene, NH age: 26	roflmao
7/18/2008 7:02:10 AM	Joke Of The Day
dazed1961 Manchester, NH age: 47	A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied... "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

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