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Forums: Dating Stories: Paying rent to move in with your lover? Page: 1, 2
8/22/2008 5:46:36 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

frank_1046
Naples, FL
age: 62

 I was going with a women,We were both in love with each other and wanted to take it to the
next level.So i was going to move in with her.I have my own condo.No Morg.on it.So i sak
her what will it take for me to move into her home.The answer was $1000 rent and $200
to help pay house hold bills.I said for that much money i could pay off her Morg.in cash
$125000 and get a % of the house,so i feel that my money is going someplace.Investment.
She said NO WAY .So we split.She said that i was putting money before love.Women out there is she right? Do you thing i did the right move?
Thanks Frank
8/22/2008 9:51:34 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  
traveljunkie
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 38

 I don't believe this was about the money. Since you obviously manage your financial affairs well and paid off your mortgage - why would you want to stoop to insanity and voluntarily take on over $1000 a month debt just to live with her?

I found your offer quite generous. However, I can understand her apprehension over giving up sole ownership to her property. I know you must understand the power of equity and wealth building that comes with owning a home/paying a mortgage.

Since the two of you haven't lived together yet and since you are not married why not try moving in together into a separate rental property. She can rent out her place - which will continue to pay her mortgage and you can earn some money on your place since it's already paid off. After some up front work on this, neither of you would be losing a thing. You have a place to live together that you picked out together and you are each maintaining or profiting further from your homes.

Just a thought. But I agree with you. This was not about money - it was more about safeguarding your wealth, which you've obviously worked hard obtain & maintaining.
8/22/2008 10:07:31 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

honeyhoney4
Benton, IL
age: 72

 I believe if I were you I would have her move in your place.

I definitely would not move in with her BECAUSE I think she is in
love with YOUR money and not you.

If you are not getting married DEFINITELY keep assets separate
and do not let her sign her name as your spouse.

Does Florida have a rule if she uses your name you are the same as married when she does? Some states do.
JMHO



[Edited 8/22/2008 10:09:20 AM]
8/22/2008 10:27:17 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

im_geminigirl
Willard, MO
age: 44

 Just wonderin why you don't live in the condo that is paid off?

But if you rented out your condo for, at least, the $1200 she's askin for, (I don't know what rent is in FL...$700 is Very High End here in SWMO) wouldn't that be an even trade? Your not out anything and her morg is gettin paid off to build a future, debt free..or is this a mute point since you have already split...JMO

Compromise is what a relantionship is all about, and communication...might need to talk more before a hasty decision is already made.

If NOT a hasty decision...then better to learn NOW and not LATER...
8/22/2008 7:13:35 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  
rlds
Ogden, UT
age: 49

 At least you offered her great opportunity.......and for whatever reason she declined your offer but I do recommend that you keep your assets and liabilities separate, and to be absolute sure that she doesn't claim you as her spouse on anything.....it can be done! Be careful and have a safe journey with her. R
8/23/2008 12:17:17 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

bigblueeyes511
Over 2,000 Posts (3,570)
Hampton, GA
age: 55

 You definitely made the right move. I could see paying for groceries if you move in with her (or anyone) and possibly spliting utilities. But not mortgage in her name. She was apying it before you came along and she will after you are gone. Especially since you still have condo bills o pay. Try it out first. Do not ever rush into it.

If you disagree on money before, what will it be after? Good choice.
8/23/2008 4:08:22 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

countrylady39
Durham, NC
age: 69

 well that s kinda high rent. why not her place 1 month and yours the next .

8/23/2008 4:11:12 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

cheygirl
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,884)
Cheyenne, WY
age: 43

 I agree with bigblueeyes. The only thing that's going to raise when you move in is her utilities and groceries and that's pretty marginal. If she loved you, she should realize this.
8/24/2008 4:50:45 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

frank_1046
Naples, FL
age: 62

 I want to thank all of you for all the input that you gave me.Now i don't fell as bad.
Frank



[Edited 8/24/2008 4:51:19 AM]
8/24/2008 5:22:54 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  
cece123
Over 2,000 Posts (3,153)
Warren, MI
age: 48

 Hey Frank..... what kind of home does this lady of yours live in?
Gee my last husband and I had a three bedroom colonial home that cost 11,000.00 a month and bills..
When we were dating he lived in a yukky little apartment... and I had a nice colonial apartment... I asked him to move in he said no..... Because it would have cost him more to live with me? I got alot of flake from his friends and family.... saying all I liked him for was for his money.... I said "What money... he had a nice car...., but didn't look like he had money.
We dated three years... and he was able to save for our home... we lived together two, and married.

Now that we are seperated... I lived alone for a year and found it hard to live on my own finacially... So I moved in with a friend.... whom might become a little more... And though his house is "almost," paid for.... I still pay $300.00 rent and $150.00 in utilities... Going with the term "Cash... gas..., or a** no one rides for free...." There are no free rides... 12 grand is alot of money buddy..., which unless she lived in a mansion....., seems to me you would be paying all her bills.... and thats not right.
When the term "helpmate" comes in.

I asked my ex recently why he hasen't dated anyone......... he just said... "I don't need the head ache...., and I don't need another women coming along, taking away what little I have left. Sad... but both men and women must be careful.
He handled everything... I'm kind of at a loss without him... It's good your not with that women... I don't think she was fair with that monthly quote....... I think she wanted someone to pay all her bills.
8/24/2008 5:38:09 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  
__sea
Maricopa, AZ
age: 56

 Sounds to me..OP...that you were thinking more of a joint business venture then a relationship...and then what if it didn't work out??....She would of #1. either sale her house to pay off you...#2. or she would have to move and you pay her off....hmmmmm..unless you paid off her home and you live there rent free and leave the house in her name...just not a win win situation............( wink ) Sea
8/27/2008 8:30:20 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

1pinkstar
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,447)
Omaha, NE
age: 55

 Maybe she expected the next level to be marriage instead of shacking up and splitting the costs. Just a thought........I would never sign off on my property without a bigger committment than someone offering to share the household bills and or mortgage or rent. Where is the legal binding contract? Real estate deals must be in writing anyhow to be legit.

JMO...but seems like money did come first to you. (you wanted your money to go someplace.)
Your investment would have been the relationship. What good is a nice piece of property when there is no one around to share it with you?
9/1/2008 1:54:27 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

bootup69
Richmond, IN
age: 41

 Well jmo,that if someone really loves someone it wouldnt matter if one lived in a box
under a overpass.JMO



witch worked out pretty good when they closed the road..



[Edited 9/1/2008 1:55:49 PM]
9/2/2008 8:10:00 PM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

tink48
Anderson, IN
age: 49

 WOW! Can I just be blunt and say you are lucky to have got away from her cause she was obviously a dumbass!!! and after alot more than your love
9/3/2008 1:04:08 AM Paying rent to move in with your lover?  

forever4
Victoria
Australia
age: 47

 yes you made the right decsion move by moving out what a scammer she was yes she did put money before love your wallet maybe a lot heaveir since you have split up.Next time dont throw caution to the wind ok I hope you will be more careful next time good luck

Forums: Dating Stories: Paying rent to move in with your lover? Page: 1, 2