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8/25/2015 10:30:43 PM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

fixingme
Over 2,000 Posts (2,160)
New Iberia, LA
60, joined Aug. 2010


Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action
adventure about famous classical composers.

Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger
were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg
asked Bruce Willis.

"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play
him."

"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.

"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.

"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Schwarzenegger.

"I'll be Bach," said Arnold.

(Groan)

****************************************************************

A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.
God replied,"A million years to me is just like a single second in your time."

Then the young man asked God what a million dollars was to him.
God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."

Then the young man got his courage up and asked:
"God, could I have one of your pennies?"

God replied, " Certainly, just a second."
***********************************************

Elephant nuts on rye

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign
on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!

When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye.
She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen
where all hell breaks loose! The restaurant owner comes
storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table,
slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, "You got me that time
buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years
that we've been out of rye bread.

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8/26/2015 12:01:11 PM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

nick269
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (23,583)
Akron, OH
55, joined Jun. 2011




8/26/2015 8:35:13 PM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

kweekhi7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,232)
Lansdale, PA
70, joined Aug. 2008


Love all of these, Fixing! They are my kind of funny! Especially the God one which is certainly a true story...

8/26/2015 10:58:58 PM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (33,174)
Green Bay, WI
50, joined Jul. 2013




8/27/2015 8:08:52 AM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
34, joined Mar. 2013
online now!



Those are some good ones

9/1/2015 2:41:07 AM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

ludlowlowell
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,074)
Panama City, FL
62, joined Feb. 2008
online now!


Why did Beethoven hate chickens? Because they kept going bach-bach-bach.

9/1/2015 2:43:28 PM Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger  

kweekhi7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,232)
Lansdale, PA
70, joined Aug. 2008


Luddlo, boy, this is a great one! He is 'Offenback' sooner!