| 9/6/2008 3:58:20 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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tookiebear
Wilmington, NC
age: 45
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Why in the world is it so hard to find a man that will actually call you or return your text messages? I'm so tired of finding someone, weather it be online or not, that after you chat online with them then meet them or after a few dates with them, they just stop calling you. I'm so sick of the crap men these days are pulling on me. All I want is to find someone in or around the Wilmington area that is looking for a serious, long term relationship.
Is there a man out there looking for the same????? 
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| 9/7/2008 6:53:21 AM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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ruthbuzzi
Charlotte, NC
age: 40
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Tookie,
I really do think there are men out there that do want a relationship. In fact, I think a lot of men on this site do. Most of the guys I've talked with seem sincere. I think the problem is that, as a culture, we aren't very good at honestly saying to each other, "hey, I just don't think this will work out." It's uncomfortable, so we just quit calling. Sometimes the reverse happens--for one reason or another, the guy is just a little busy and doesn't communicate, then we girls get all wiggy and say "if he isn't going to call me, I won't call him." Meanwhile he's thinking we're not interested, so decides not to call because HE doesn't want to appear too interested and risk getting hurt. The only solution I know of is to confront it directly. If someone that you really like stops contacting you, e-mail them or call and say, "look, it's early in this thing so I don't know you well enough to be able to read you. I've had a good time with you, but you seem to have quit calling so often. It's ok if you just aren't that into me, but I'd like to know." And then if he admits that he's not interested, you just say, "great, thanks! I wish you the best." And you can move on. 
Ruth
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| 9/7/2008 9:36:07 AM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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only66
Hickory, NC
age: 66
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Well said ruth.
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| 9/7/2008 11:39:20 AM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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kewldaemon
Apex, NC
age: 49
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There are men out there that want a true relationship. I am one of those men. Thing is, being online brings its share of awkwardness. I'd rather meet someone I think I can be friends with first, and then see where it goes. When you stop looking for love, it will find you. Make sense?
- Mark
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| 9/7/2008 12:28:09 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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tookiebear
Wilmington, NC
age: 45
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Wow Ruth, you hit it right on the head. This guy that I had gone out with a few times hadn't been responding to my text message so I called him the other night just to see whats been going on with him, just to say hi. When we did get together we had a great time. Laughing and just hanging out. I got no response from him at all. So I finally sent him a text saying.....I get it, I understand that you're not interested. No response again. If he wasn't interested in dating me I would have still liked to be his friend. Now when I take my car to the dealership where I got it from It's going to be difficult, he works there.
I guess I'm at the point where I just want to give up and maybe love will find me then. One could hope. 
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| 9/7/2008 4:05:40 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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ruthbuzzi
Charlotte, NC
age: 40
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Perhaps we're just ignoring you, RD. 
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| 9/7/2008 5:30:17 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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gene91256
Supply, NC
age: 52
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It's not hard at all for some men. I've wondered the same thing about women. You guess you just have to meet the right one. I would give anything to meet the right one but it ain't happened yet. I don't like the single life , but at the same time I want it to be THAT 1
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| 9/7/2008 5:34:19 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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gene91256
Supply, NC
age: 52
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LOL I am new to this kind of chat. Will figure out how it works
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| 9/7/2008 5:37:26 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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gene91256
Supply, NC
age: 52
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I am from the Wilmington area
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| 9/7/2008 6:07:13 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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gritziam
Shallotte, NC
age: 34
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I am from the Wilmington area 
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| 9/7/2008 6:25:34 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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fruit01breaker
Hampstead, NC
age: 46
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hi,tookie i've tryed on plentyof phish.but you would not reply you must be looking for looks an money
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| 9/7/2008 8:31:33 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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georgiapete
Lenoir, NC
age: 50
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Ruth said it all
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| 9/8/2008 4:38:47 AM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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ruthbuzzi
Charlotte, NC
age: 40
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Thanks, Pete!
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| 9/8/2008 11:58:17 AM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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duran08
Charlotte, NC
age: 54
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I think there are a couple of things going on here. One, yes I think most guys are wanting a true relationship, but with the right woman that fits them. I know I have been looking for a while and to start, no picture, no contact. Then, for guys, a physical attraction is important, because we are visually oriented, more so than women..that's a fact. If there is not any physcal attraction, then I'm just making another friend, that's OK but not why I'm here...to find someone special for a true relationship. Then it's a numbers game, go through and look at the possibles and make contact, the ones that respond ( a lot will not), you talk to and see if there is any interest and then meet. I have learned not to spend a lot of time talking on the phone or I/M or email. The problem with a lot of conversation before you meet, you set up in your mind what you expect to find in that person...setting them higher than what they should be and then your disapointed.  If there is interest, meet as soon as possible and then see if there is any chemistry. I said meet, not date. Make it light and casual so both parties can back out without a big deal. Then if there is chemistry, go for it and date. When I meet a woman for the first time, at the end of the conversation (like over coffee or a glass of wine)I state whether I am interested or not and if I am, I point blank will ask her is she is interested in seeing me again. Not that hard! If I am interested and they say yes, then we plan our first date and go from there. If I am not interested, I thank them for meeting me and say that it was nice to meet them but I that I didnt think the chemistry was there between us.
Setting up a date for the first meeting will usually hurt someone's feelings. You go out, have a good time and one party may be just being nice and the other party falls hard. Then no follow-up call, no second date, because now it's harder to just say the words.
One problem I see with online dating is simply the greener pasture syndrome. With so many possibilities out there, a lot of men and women may never allow themselves to get involved because they think they may find someone better the next day! They just keep meeting and dating but not willing to see where it goes because they run home after the date and check for messages or run a new search! I seen it happen.
I would also recommend that you may want to raise the age range up a few years to capture interest of some men that would truly appreciate a woman of your caliber. If I was in the your area, I would be contacting you to see! 
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| 9/8/2008 12:08:36 PM |
Why is it so hard to find a man that wants a true relationship? |
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newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
age: 71
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Thanks Ruth..
I sometimes think people on DH expect more than they do in r/t ..
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