| 9/16/2008 6:46:46 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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nmorris
Freeman, MO
age: 39
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I still wear my wedding ring, and it has only been 4 months..??
I did go out, but I took the rings off, but as soon as I got in my vehicle, I immediatly put them back on??
I felt guilty in away..
Also, it is it weird that I want to see my husbands' spirit, and I get jealous when other people have contact with their departed loved ones..??
Just food for thought...
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| 9/16/2008 8:20:06 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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vale42
Findlay, OH
age: 50 online now!
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hi there and no its not weird to want to see your husbands spirtit and wished i could see mine just to talk or even hold just 1 more time,,, but i did take my rings off cause even though he is still in my heart remember your vows til death do us part,,,,,,,,,good luck
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| 9/18/2008 9:50:28 AM |
Is it weird?? |
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jazzmin1951
Kansas City, MO
age: 57
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I took my rings off and wore them on my right hand...put another that Larry had given me on my left that didn't resemble wedding rings.
I don't see anything wrong in whatever ANYONE wants to do...it's a personal preference.
The guilt thing...well...that's normal also...I felt that early on also....the thing I sometimes STILL feel guilt about is that 'financially' now...I am a lot better than I was when he was alive...many factors feed into that...my job has changed...our kids are grown and out of the house...etc.etc....but still..sometimes when I do something like buy a brand new yard tractor..feel a twinge of guilt since the one 'we' had was an awful mess...and I just know how thrilled he would have been if we could have afforded more nice things.
OH well....I figure it will always be something.
As long as we carry them in our hearts ... our thoughts will always turn to them..and things will always remind us of them....but it does get more few and farther between.
Don't be 'jealous' when others tell you about their experiences...Don't try so hard because if you are constantly TRYING to connect with your husbands spirit...you might miss something. Sometimes its as simple as a brief smell of their cologne...or just a nice dream about them.
[Edited 9/18/2008 9:53:32 AM]
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| 9/18/2008 10:10:21 AM |
Is it weird?? |
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nmorris
Freeman, MO
age: 39
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Thanks...I needed to hear all of that...
I know what you mean about feeling guilty when you are financially better off..I am the same way...I have been able to catch bills up and get things that we never would of been able to if he were still alive..I think he had things set up that way before he died..he knew that we would be taken care of financially after he passed...but I would change it all in a heartbeat to have him back...
I think I need to take your advice and not try so hard..I just miss him so much...
Norma..
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| 9/18/2008 1:18:39 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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lostpuppy2
Chicago Ridge, IL
age: 46
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I still wear my wedding ring, and it has only been 4 months..??
I did go out, but I took the rings off, but as soon as I got in my vehicle, I immediatly put them back on??
I felt guilty in away..
Also, it is it weird that I want to see my husbands' spirit, and I get jealous when other people have contact with their departed loved ones..??
Just food for thought...
I didn't remove my ring for about 6 months. When a woman that we both new from church told me she saw my wife in a dream and my wife told her i would be ok. Then i took my ring off. Don't do it until you are ready.
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| 9/19/2008 4:48:52 AM |
Is it weird?? |
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jazzmin1951
Kansas City, MO
age: 57
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Exactly !!!
I STILL wear my wedding set on my right hand sometimes when I go someplace special..it's too pretty to just leave in the jewelry box for the rest of my life !
Go with your heart on matters like this...eventually the whole thing will begin to make sense to you and the little things just won't be a big deal anymore.
it takes TIME...and like I've stated before...each person has their own time line.
Now...if in ten years you are still grieving the same as you were shortly after your loss...then seeking help for your grief might be advisable...but ...I think most people are intelligent to know this.
Hey...some will NEVER remarry...and they are very happy with that decision...some will remarry soon after....it's all a personal choice.
Just make sure you do things that make 'you' happy...nothing is more important than that.
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| 9/21/2008 3:57:33 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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3crosses
El Paso, TX
age: 51 online now!
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I've been wearing my husband's wedding ring on a chain with a cross on it since the day after he died. It's my tribute to him and he gave me the cross so it's like they go together. I haven't been wearing my wedding rings tho, but then again, I haven't been wearing any rings.
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| 9/21/2008 4:13:13 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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xlibra75x
Gateway, AR
age: 33
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I'd still wear my ring if I still had it.....
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| 9/21/2008 6:51:40 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 52
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my wedding ring is now on my right hand and that is where it will stay. I feel comfortable with it there and what ever makes you happy is what counts Awwww Libra you know I love ya babe
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| 9/21/2008 8:47:15 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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timberose
Wheat Ridge, CO
age: 54
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It's all very weird. It's been two and a half years for me. I've made a new life for myself, but it's pure bluff. I just found you guys. I didn't know there was anything like this. I can tell you guys how lonely I am. I think you know what I mean when I say it's pure bluff. Everyone thinks I'm doing just great. I'm really not. (whisper)
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| 9/21/2008 9:01:36 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 52
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It's all very weird. It's been two and a half years for me. I've made a new life for myself, but it's pure bluff. I just found you guys. I didn't know there was anything like this. I can tell you guys how lonely I am. I think you know what I mean when I say it's pure bluff. Everyone thinks I'm doing just great. I'm really not. (whisper)
I know it is hard isn't it???? You can email me anytime you want to talk hun I know your pain and I am praying for you
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| 9/21/2008 9:17:22 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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atlgarn
Longwood, FL
age: 53
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It's been almost four years for me and there are still weird times. The pure fluff is a good way to describe how I was the first year and a half. Then I started feeling better with my own spirit and ready to find what my life was to be like. I stopped wearing my wedding ring after 2 years, but still wore it now and again. It's in my jewelry box. But you can still see the impression of it around my finger. What's strange is when someone notices it.
Do things in your own time. It's you healing from the loss of your mate. Others are healing from loss of brother, uncle, Dad, friend, son perhaps. We all heal in different ways. Take whatever time you need. Don't push yourself into anything.
[Edited 9/21/2008 9:17:51 PM]
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| 9/22/2008 1:02:31 AM |
Is it weird?? |
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connier
Nampa, ID
age: 60
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it is 2 years today that I buried my husband of 28 years, and I still have things in the drawers and setting. sometimes it feels right to get rid of a few things, and it does not bother me. other times I try but they won't go, so I just wait til it feels right again.it takes each of us our own time. and do not let anyone else try and rush you into doing anything until you feel ready. good luck to us all.. 
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| 9/22/2008 11:13:12 AM |
Is it weird?? |
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guymeister
Brevard, NC
age: 60
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Hi,
It isn't easy being a normal human being. We all go through so much in our emotional selves and what we feel in our hearts about the whole matter of suddenly finding ourselves married to a departed spouse. It is plainly wierd.
Different people experiance different things, what goes on within is simply each persons personal experiance shared or not. I came to share an idea that may lead a few away from the shakiness of lack of idenity, when I read this title and fell into some of the old stuff with you all.
I will make a title about what we became as a God made couple. Not everyone will want to follow. The point though, once a Queen or King though now less than a half, we still are, that is how we are made. Onward.
As addressing the original question about how wierd it is, yah. He heals the broken hearted and sets the captives free. Uncontrollable grief He supernaturally delivered that from me. You trusted your husband and loved him true, or all this silly grief and stuff wouldn't be happening to me or to you.
I really am sorry if you don't like all the rhym stuff, I am just me, who else could I be. Thank God it ill get better, I have exsperianced it so, you've seen, we joke and we laugh till we have pain in our spleans.
Well, four months is kinda newish for a gal who already has had DATES...... you must look good , How ya doin. Ya own a boat, maybe?
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| 9/22/2008 6:54:38 PM |
Is it weird?? |
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tncutie64698
Spring City, TN
age: 37
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I wore my husband's wedding band on my necklace while he was sick and for a few weeks after he passed. I wore my wedding rings for a few months, but wore a "special ring" he'd gotten me, for a couple of years. There's a certain guilt you feel when you start moving on and leaving some material things behind. I know in my heart that my Dean wouldn't want me to be unhappy and cling to things that are just "things."
Now dating, is a whole different ballgame! At first I would compare men I liked to him and look for flaws and imperfections, as a reason not to keep seeing them or talking to them. But now I'm so ready for a long term relationship. I want to be in love again.
Everyone is different and we all grieve differently. There's no "moving on" rule book to help you out. You just realize one day that you went an entire day without crying and it gets easier day by day. You'll never replace "their" spot in your heart but you do need to fill the rest of your heart with love again. At least I do.
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