11/11/2008 2:10:14 PM |
Why, why why? |
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carnationpurple
McMinnville, OR
age: 54
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do men get a thrill out of starting a conversation, then a day or two, or even weeks later, stop?
I had a wonderful marriage, years later was forced into widowhood, and raised my kids by myself. I've been a widoow for quite sometime now, and have 5 plus grandkids, and have a fairly happy life. I'm not boring, and have interests like anyone else and would someday, like most, to find the right guy to be with the rest of my life.
I don't like rushing things, and like to get to know a person first, before meeting. Now, I know it's not me, as I've heard and read this about men doing this, so if anyone has an answer, I would love to hear it.
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11/11/2008 3:46:14 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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Don't get me wrong or take it the wrong way...but my experience has been.. If its not directly revolving around something having to do with sex..they lose interest and move on..
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11/11/2008 4:21:33 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Nah ... try homemade baklava and homemade bread. Something about "way to man's heart ..."
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11/11/2008 5:10:38 PM |
Why, why why? |
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carnationpurple
McMinnville, OR
age: 54
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Well, I know most deals with sex, that's men for you. Sorry guys, but even though I can be with the times on things, this is one area I'm a little old fashion.
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11/11/2008 5:13:36 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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If he's a gentleman, he will wait until the time is right.
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11/11/2008 6:48:50 PM |
Why, why why? |
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boopdelou
Myrtle Creek, OR
age: 53
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A lot of guys seem to fall into this habit. Sex is a lot of it or they are looking for a more complmentry verson to parade around. I haven't found a lot of sincere men on the sites. Of the rare ones, we have become pen pals more than real friends or anything with a commitment, reguardless how they want to represent themselves. Sorry to be a downer.
P.S. I have tried the baked goods, home cooked meals and watching sports with them, if sex isn't included by the second meeting, they're gone as a rule.
[Edited 11/11/2008 6:56:10 PM ]
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11/11/2008 7:16:54 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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You have said it right on the money!!! lol.. yep..right on the money
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11/11/2008 7:17:03 PM |
Why, why why? |
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mariafromromani
Portland, OR
age: 42
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Well, the fact is you are better off without this person. Being single is better than being with the wrong individual. So, don't give up, make room for the RIGHT one.
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11/11/2008 7:18:11 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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Its sorta hard to MAKE ROOM for the RIGHT one when your choices are limited eh?
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11/11/2008 7:38:38 PM |
Why, why why? |
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shir567
Beaverton, OR
age: 60
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Ya gotta wonder sometimes. It's so very nice to share some parts of your life with a man. On the other hand - Being at peace with the world, my home and my soul can sometimes out way those moments. I like me. I don't always understand me, but that's okay. I can still surprize myself. I have a lot to give, but I will not waste it again where it isn't appreciated. I am able to enjoy so much in life. Down to the small details. He would really need to be capable of a bigger picture than just some good looking sheets
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11/12/2008 5:32:05 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Is it possible that too much time is wasted looking for the lifetime "partner" --- rather than just looking for a lifetime "friend"? For myself, I have no desire to ever marry again --- but I enjoy the companionship of a man who makes me laugh and enjoy life to its fullest. When you are seeking a "partner," you seem to restrict yourself to someone who shares your religion, politics, and other points of view. When you are seeking a "friend," you are less restrictive --- and are more likely to ignore the differing points of view and just relish in the good times you spend together. If love or lust develop after the friendship has matured, it's just frosting on the gingerbread, so to speak.
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11/12/2008 5:53:39 AM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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Aging,,, that was very well said...
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11/12/2008 6:23:49 AM |
Why, why why? |
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garflotic
Roseburg, OR
age: 69
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Ah.........did I just hear something about frosted ginger bread ? Can I have a piece ? Please !
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11/12/2008 6:26:04 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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A response to that would be unpublishable in a public forum.
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11/12/2008 6:36:34 AM |
Why, why why? |
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garflotic
Roseburg, OR
age: 69
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What ? I can't have gingerbread ? I've been good ! Up til 11:20 cooking last night. Stayed outta of 'The Wheel'.
Guess I'll just have to go to the bakery...........
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11/12/2008 6:39:28 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Could have sworn you were looking just for the frosting ... not the gingerbread. It's unlikely that I misunderstood what you were saying.
[Edited 11/12/2008 6:40:59 AM ]
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11/12/2008 6:42:31 AM |
Why, why why? |
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garflotic
Roseburg, OR
age: 69
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What good would frosting be without the gingerbread ?
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11/12/2008 8:08:03 AM |
Why, why why? |
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eanne
Portland, OR
age: 49
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Is it possible that too much time is wasted looking for the lifetime "partner" --- rather than just looking for a lifetime "friend"? For myself, I have no desire to ever marry again --- but I enjoy the companionship of a man who makes me laugh and enjoy life to its fullest. When you are seeking a "partner," you seem to restrict yourself to someone who shares your religion, politics, and other points of view. When you are seeking a "friend," you are less restrictive --- and are more likely to ignore the differing points of view and just relish in the good times you spend together. If love or lust develop after the friendship has matured, it's just frosting on the gingerbread, so to speak.
I wholeheartedly AGREE!
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11/12/2008 9:15:10 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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What good would frosting be without the gingerbread ?
Clever comment.
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11/12/2008 9:41:11 AM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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NO! NO! NO! NO!.. its whipped cream for the ginegrbread,, sheesh,,where u guys been?
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11/12/2008 10:14:46 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Sorry --- a lot of my expressions are from the U.K. (my "ex") --- so they get befuddled.
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11/13/2008 6:17:18 AM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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Do you use the term "bonnet" ?
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11/13/2008 6:41:48 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Plus "boot" of the car. Ya, ya, ya. My favorite, though, is when you're staying in a hotel/ B&B and the matron asks if you want to be "knocked up in the morning." Means, do you want a wake up call? Like knock on the door.
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11/13/2008 7:41:31 AM |
Why, why why? |
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eanne
Portland, OR
age: 49
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Plus "boot" of the car. Ya, ya, ya. My favorite, though, is when you're staying in a hotel/ B&B and the matron asks if you want to be "knocked up in the morning." Means, do you want a wake up call? Like knock on the door.
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11/13/2008 10:16:39 AM |
Why, why why? |
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garflotic
Roseburg, OR
age: 69
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Plus "boot" of the car. Ya, ya, ya. My favorite, though, is when you're staying in a hotel/ B&B and the matron asks if you want to be "knocked up in the morning." Means, do you want a wake up call? Like knock on the door.
Wanna tell 'em what they call a cigarette ?
And a motorcar accident is a "shunt". And a truck is a "lorrie". (or is it lorry?)
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11/13/2008 12:03:59 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Wanna tell 'em what they call a cigarette ?
And a motorcar accident is a "shunt". And a truck is a "lorrie". (or is it lorry?)
Trying to impressed me with your knowledge? Okay, okay ... I'll pretend to be impressed!
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11/13/2008 12:22:38 PM |
Why, why why? |
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garflotic
Roseburg, OR
age: 69
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Trying to impressed me with your knowledge? Okay, okay ... I'll pretend to be impressed!
And just what else do you "pretend"?
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11/13/2008 12:26:57 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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The innuendo borders on the type of talk we're keeping out of the Oregon postings.
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11/14/2008 3:51:22 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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ok... my curiosity is peaked.. so what do they call a cigarette?
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11/14/2008 4:23:02 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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I believe they are called "f*gs." Disgusting term. There just is no explaining the English, is there?
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11/14/2008 4:45:04 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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NOPERS...
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12/4/2008 12:56:44 PM |
Why, why why? |
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dennisw2
Grants Pass, OR
age: 39
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so tell me whitehawk what part of oregon
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12/4/2008 3:22:24 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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so tell me whitehawk what part of oregon
What part of Oregon what? rather fragmented... hmmmm?
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4/29/2009 6:11:33 AM |
Why, why why? |
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andymax
Gresham, OR
age: 43
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Not all men are like that!
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5/5/2009 8:29:33 PM |
Why, why why? |
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execmom7
Union, OR
age: 45
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I have noticed the same things.... sex seems to come first for most but I know that is not all. The way I see being single is this.... loneliness is a constant pain.... but a niggling pain.... like living with a headache. Being with the wrong person in a poor relationship and possibly having your heart broken is excruciating. I would rather live with the headache.
Not to mention.... if I am spending my time with the "wrong" one.... I miss the "right" one.
So, I am somewhat content on my own and enjoying the occasional nice conversation.
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5/16/2009 11:37:39 PM |
Why, why why? |
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madkemist
Boardman, OR
age: 44
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Not all men are like that!
My thought exactly...
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5/31/2009 9:55:08 PM |
Why, why why? |
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waterdabber
West Linn, OR
age: 61
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I like your attitude there aging hippie, we do think alike. perhaps because we are both from the same era. My advice is not to let anyone steal your peace. (LOL) If your not comfortable having sex then don't do it to get a man, the end result will be that they won't call back anyway, the right man will come along and if he doesn't then being single has to be better than to compromise your standards.
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6/9/2009 6:09:11 PM |
Why, why why? |
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im_trs_44
Salem, OR
age: 45
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Hello Ya'all; As a guy on the other side of this story I gota say, On the other hand if you are a "nice guy" you might find it nye imposible to get a woman to talk to you for any length of time..
I couldn't tell you of all the times I've sat across the table from Miss dream and had her tell me that she wished she could find an honest,caring,faithfull man like.... me...
then how many times that the conversation ended w/ But I guess I'll just havta settle w/ that d*ck tonight......
So tell me anyone, if you do find that guy who listens,cares,is faithfull,wants something more than sex out of you, then are you actually going to give him a chance,
or will you tell him that your just have to settle for that jerk thats trying to pick you up????
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6/9/2009 11:36:32 PM |
Why, why why? |
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bbbert48
Gresham, OR
age: 61
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Why, why, why indeed. With an infinite number of topics to discuss, why is it that when conversation is initiated (and is NOT centered around sex) there is very often a period of non-communication that ensues. There always seems to be a statement to the effect that a "nice guy" is suitable to be a friend (like a brother), but nothing more. Now, a "Bad Boy" type is infinately more interesting.
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6/10/2009 5:42:39 AM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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Why, why, why indeed. With an infinite number of topics to discuss, why is it that when conversation is initiated (and is NOT centered around sex) there is very often a period of non-communication that ensues. There always seems to be a statement to the effect that a "nice guy" is suitable to be a friend (like a brother), but nothing more. Now, a "Bad Boy" type is infinately more interesting.
I quite agree///
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6/10/2009 6:16:51 AM |
Why, why why? |
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coldfire142
Lafayette, OR
age: 24
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I agree with you im_trs_44. I have personnel have experienced this multiple times and it hurts every time i hear it. Its like most women prefer the jackass, or the guy that dose not respect them much. I have been told twice that i am a nice guy and they don't deserve me as an excuse to leave me. if that is not a kick in the nuts i don't know what is.
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6/10/2009 6:17:13 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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I honestly would like to see a better definition of a "nice guy." There are a lot of men who claim to be "nice," and start out being "nice," but end up being disrespectful when they assume the world revolves around them and their needs.
"But he's such a nice guy ...."
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6/10/2009 6:21:27 AM |
Why, why why? |
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coldfire142
Lafayette, OR
age: 24
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Honesty, Truthful, Loyal, Helpful, open....well thats all that comes to mind besides emotions
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6/10/2009 6:43:53 AM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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Honesty, Truthful, Loyal, Helpful, open....well thats all that comes to mind besides emotions
I applaud your attitude. I hope you find someone deserving of your high moral character.
Unsolicited words of wisdom: Never let the courtship die and never take someone for granted.
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6/10/2009 2:39:03 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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I honestly would like to see a better definition of a "nice guy." There are a lot of men who claim to be "nice," and start out being "nice," but end up being disrespectful when they assume the world revolves around them and their needs.
"But he's such a nice guy ...."
But you see my dear.. a bad boy NEVER proclaims to be nice in the first place..so you know what to expect from him. And let me tell you..there are some damn good "BAD" boys out there,,that have proven to be more the gentleman..than ever a NICE guy!
[Edited 6/10/2009 2:39:34 PM ]
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6/10/2009 2:52:57 PM |
Why, why why? |
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aginghippy2008
Beaverton, OR
age: 64
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But you see my dear.. a bad boy NEVER proclaims to be nice in the first place..so you know what to expect from him. And let me tell you..there are some damn good "BAD" boys out there,,that have proven to be more the gentleman..than ever a NICE guy!
I know that one ... only too well, my dear.
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6/11/2009 11:34:42 AM |
Why, why why? |
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bbbert48
Gresham, OR
age: 61
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It's a shame that when a "nice guy" is asked for it isn't what is really meant. Perhaps the problem is with the definition. If a guy thinks that being nice is just paying attention to his date, being considerate, chivalrous, and caring - he is mistaken. All of those attributes may be desirable, but they are BORING!
If the date or relationship is so oriented to the comfort of the woman, she loses interest. "Niceness" may be desired, but it doesn't compare to a "challenge!"
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6/11/2009 3:40:01 PM |
Why, why why? |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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It's a shame that when a "nice guy" is asked for it isn't what is really meant. Perhaps the problem is with the definition. If a guy thinks that being nice is just paying attention to his date, being considerate, chivalrous, and caring - he is mistaken. All of those attributes may be desirable, but they are BORING!
If the date or relationship is so oriented to the comfort of the woman, she loses interest. "Niceness" may be desired, but it doesn't compare to a "challenge!"
Yep..again..you hit it right on the head!
[Edited 6/11/2009 3:40:25 PM ]
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