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Forums: Relationships: Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?
11/8/2007 5:28:20 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 OK! Here's a question that I'm sure most of us can relate to.

You have deep feelings for someone but because of current circumstances you cannot make them known
~OR~
to keep a friendship you must suppress them in order to keep that person as a friend which you cherish.

CAN YOU AND ARE YOU ABLE TO DO IT?!

Personally I usually can't, just NOT one of my abilities.
But currently I am trying my best to do so, becuase I don't want to lose a good friendship I've acquired.


I would appreciate thoughtful and insightful answers to this question.
I liked the way the forums USED to be a long time ago and
would like it to get back to that way again.
Less chit-chat and one liners and real thoughts and opinions, please.
11/8/2007 5:46:52 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40

 Not an issue I'm facing right now but, Have had it before and Found when nothing is said, Nothing is gained. And, It's really uncomfy...Now, If someone could tell me how to put words back in my mouth...
xoxoPeaches.
11/8/2007 5:49:24 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

professer2
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 52

 Its how you spin it Peaches
"No , I didnt say that, you must have misunderstood me"
11/8/2007 5:50:02 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 Morning Peachy!!
Take the frog out! LOL
Or the marbles.....and put them back in your head! LMAO!

But seriously.....what if the feelings are known but
in order to keep the friendship they must be suppressed?

Morning Professor!
How about you?! Any words of wisdom from your side of the fence?



[Edited 11/8/2007 5:51:02 AM]
11/8/2007 5:51:06 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

ladyfireeyes81
Redwood City, CA
age: 26

 I have been there. I just kept going as a friend, and tried to act as I would if I didn't have those feelings. Slowly they dissipated, I still have feelings for him, but they aren't as strong, and I have been able to move on.
11/8/2007 5:57:00 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

july59
Ripley, MS
age: 48

 I know where your coming from. I'm having to keep my feelings suppressed now because of the situation I'm in. It is not easy but sometimes must be done for the best for all parties envolved and maintaining a friendship.
11/8/2007 5:57:12 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 So what you're saying is Fireeyes is that time helped to extinguish any fires and
you were successful in keeping the friendship. But didn't it hurt some ..... knowing that he did not feel the same way?


And why is it for the best July?!



[Edited 11/8/2007 5:58:26 AM]
11/8/2007 6:01:35 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

ladyfireeyes81
Redwood City, CA
age: 26

 oh if I knew that he didn't have feelings for me, it would have been easier! But he didn't want to lose the friendship, so we made an effort to just be friends. After a while I was able to move on. I have suppressed my feelings to the point that they no longer cause an issue. I still love him dearly though. I just had to shift to a different kind of love.
11/8/2007 6:04:10 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40

 Morning ppl, ldr, When a man says that he can "only" be friends with me, That tells me that there is not more than "Lust" involved from his side and yes, Those can dissolve with time and patience. luv ya and good luck!
xoxoPeaches.
11/8/2007 6:04:36 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

mag11
New Port Richey, FL
age: 39

 No there's a couple of people in here I'd love to be with but I think it would be better just to be friends. I would like to let them know but I love them as friends and dont want to screw that up!!!Mike
11/8/2007 6:05:27 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

july59
Ripley, MS
age: 48

 Maintaining a close friendship is vital. So sometimes it is best not to ruin a friendship by suppressing your feeling when you think trying to make a relationship work might back fire and ruin the friendship you have already established.
11/8/2007 6:35:40 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 So HE did have feelings for you too Fireeyes?!
So why didn't the two of you try to make a go of it?
Seems to be similar to what I'm going thru right now.
I appreciate your candor and honesty.
Thank you!

Mag - Is it because of the distance?

July - Very true and that is why I am trying my darnedest to do just that.

Peachy - Thanks for your insight! I think that might be exactly where he's at. XOXO



[Edited 11/8/2007 6:47:09 AM]
11/8/2007 6:57:02 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

dreambuilder07
Gaithersburg, MD
age: 48

 A lifetime ago I used to talk about the claws coming out, as a euphamism for the loss of freedom associatiated with making a committment. Today, for me it is niether the loss of freedom or fear of commitment that brings terror to me, it is the fear of being devastingly hurt again, not only emotionally, but financially and family lifestyle as well. I think caution is wise, and moving slowly is cautious. But trying to balance that with the jubilance of new found love, even if onesided, sounds like the toughest of challenges, specially with kids in the mix. Sharing your feelings might be ok, if you can keep your claws retracted.
I wish you the best of luck, always.
11/8/2007 7:26:16 AM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 Thanks Dreamy! I know you've been thru a lot! Hope you're getting thru it all!

Suppressing the feelings that you have for the sake of a friendship established
is just like keeping your claws retracted! I think?!
11/8/2007 1:58:27 PM Suppressing feelings for another person? Is it possible for you?  

defiantlyltr
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 46

 Anyone on here tonight want to get in on this thread!?!
We touched upon some good reasons and issues that can come up.

SOOOOOOOO.......who and how many of you can really and successfully do this?!

Or is it just too difficult?!


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