Really Good Article

5/7/2009 7:49:07 AM	Really Good Article
qirki San Francisco, CA age: 63	The article below describes behavior I have been seeing for awhile, but had never seen anything written about it. I would like to know if anyone else has noticed this. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This article was sent to you by someone who found it on SFGate. The original article can be found on SFGate.com here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2009/05/05/EDT417C9C1.DTL --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, May 5, 2009 (SF Chronicle) Dear Americans: Get over yourselves Ruben Navarrette Jr., San Diego Union-Tribune Jean Twenge has a knack for chronicling the obsession that many Americans have with, well, themselves. In 2006, the psychology professor at San Diego State University wrote a highly informed book on what she called "Generation Me" - Americans in their teens, 20s and 30s who display very healthy levels of self-esteem even if they haven't accomplished much to earn it. Now, with fellow psychologist W. Keith Campbell, Twenge has co-written a new and timely book titled "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement." Twenge thinks the entitlement mentality might have helped cause America's economic crisis. "People were very overconfident about what size mortgage they could afford and the same thing with the bankers who were giving the loans," she told me. "Everybody was overconfident and didn't anticipate the downside, and so when the downside came, it was worse than anyone imagined." Twenge has seen it on college campuses. She recalled the student who asked her to postpone a final exam because it interfered with his plans for a birthday outing to Las Vegas. And in the workforce. She heard from one person who runs a company in Minnesota who said it was not uncommon for employees to call into the office and say they were too tired to come to work and needed to go back to sleep. In their book, Twenge and Campbell list the factors fueling the entitlement mentality: parenting, schools and a culture that builds self-esteem by giving everyone a trophy; the Internet, where all can shape their images, post their opinions and be their own publicist; celebrity culture and media, which teach Americans that they're entitled to be famous; and ready credit, which, Twenge says, "allows people the fantasy of getting something and not paying for it right away." What is the harm of all this? "Narcissism is absolutely toxic to society," Twenge said. "When faced with common resources, narcissists take more for themselves and leave less for others. They tend to be greedy and take too many risks. They feel entitled, don't think about consequences and think that everything will turn out great." And when things don't turn out great - as with a flailing economy? Often times, when confronted with adversity, failure or even mild setbacks, narcissists fall to pieces. Lately, I've been collecting my own examples of entitlements - many of them offered by readers. There was the teacher of eighth-grade honors English who said she was floored by the fact that about one-third of her class thought it was unfair that she gave them a pop quiz. According to the teacher, the students insisted that she tell them about the quiz ahead of time and divulge exactly what was going to be covered. A quiz maybe, but there's not much "pop" to that. There was the chef who reported that young workers in his kitchen give him strange looks when he asks them "to do something like wash both the inside and outside of a pot or pan or to merely complete a job the best they can." They're more apt to say: "That's not my job!" The chef's response is to tell them that - speaking of jobs - it might be time to look for another one. Then there was the custom designer and contractor, a former Marine Corps fighter pilot, who insisted that he only hires employees with "very high standards of workmanship." The man said that he had tried, "sometimes desperately, to hire only native-born young men," and pay them well - $12 an hour for workers with limited or no skills and as much as $35 an hour for those with more skills. However, he said, native-born workers tended to demand the top wages even when they lacked skills, complained about the pace of jobs and missed work. It was, he said, as if they felt entitled to a job. Now, the contractor said, he much preferred "first-generation immigrants, legal and otherwise," who often have an "astounding work ethic, are willing to start at the bottom, will do the job as directed without complaint and will work until the job is done regardless of the hour ... offering up a fair day's work for a fair day's pay." We need to listen to these stories. They illustrate another consequence of Americans foolishly thinking themselves entitled to things they haven't earned: It puts them at a terrible disadvantage in a global marketplace that is, all the time, getting more competitive and less willing to suffer fools. To comment, e-mail Ruben Navarrette Jr. at [email protected]. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 2009 SF Chronicle Qirki
5/7/2009 8:39:40 AM	Really Good Article
ellyrockdaway Rockaway Beach, MO age: 57	That is a very good article, qirki. And, I've seen this change and agree to almost all of it. The younger generations, in particular, have come to believe in these mindsets. But, this change didn't come about overnight, there's too many reasons for these changes, to pinpoint one, so the real problem is, how do we fix it? I think it's the "new wave" mindset of the next generation and the ones under that one, and do not see any way to bring back "old fashioned" principles and beliefs, unfortunately. I'm sure each of us, parents, did our very best to instill the right principles, standards and morals, but then . . . . . . . . they went out into the World. [Edited 5/7/2009 8:42:12 AM PST]
5/7/2009 8:47:46 AM	Really Good Article
sassysherri Bedford, IN age: 52	I agree with Elly. Very good article. Thanks for sharing it Qirki!!
5/7/2009 8:48:41 AM	Really Good Article
mokaybee Poplar Bluff, MO age: 49	If you've ever taken night class with the ME generation, you'll never forget it. One professor gave us a very long detailed study guide because the whiner generation wouldn't let up. I laughed out loud when I realized that he just typed up the "FOCUS OF STUDY" at the end of each chapter. One little cutesy teen said, "Prof.Smith, you'll just have to give me the answer to half of these because I couldn't find the answer." The others had the nerve to complain that they had to read the 'whole stupid chapter' to answer the questions. Another class had a great character. She looked like a hooker of off Starsky and Hutch! She'd show up 20 minutes late in hooker clothes and bring her fast food dinner and ate it with lots of slurping and smacking! The professor told her that she couldn't bring dinner to class, so the next time she showed up, she popped popcorn from the vending machine and brought it to class with a soda which she slurped on like a 2yr old. The professor finally got rid of her by locking the door at the beginning of class time and refusing to open the door. She threatened to sue him and the school. The administration told her to show up to class on time. She never showed up again. But she was 'cool with that' since her GRANT money had already come in and she didn't have to pay it back. Another professor actually threatened to throw a girl out of class because she called me stupid for asking questions. He told her that I was the only one with a 4.0 because participation was 1/4 of our grade and I was the only one who was participating. And then he reminded her out loud that she had flunked every other test and made D's on the rest, and all Mrs. B's (my)grades were A's, and Kelly's not the one who's about to get kicked out of my classroom for being rude and disruptive. NOW, who's stupid. I still haven't finished my degree (I dropped out when my hubby died) but hopefully when I go back, I can take them online. I raised my kids to work, be responsible and help others. They have both been stunned by the "kids" their age who don't know how to wipe their own butts, write a complete sentence, or work for 2 days in a row, but expect to get a fat paycheck and live like the Rockefellers. Good topic Qirki My point is WHO raised the ME generation? Not me! If we don't raise them up, they can't grow up. Edited to add: Elly and Sassy, I do see the influence of 'the world', but I still believe that rearing is the only possible deterrent. Well, that and hard times. And since we're about to introduce them to tougher times, I guess we'll either see them rise above or crash. [Edited 5/7/2009 8:52:46 AM PST]
5/7/2009 10:47:14 AM	Really Good Article
fasttracker Middleburg, FL age: 57	Qirki Yep, Entitlement. Everyone since WWII with an 'unhealthy sense of self' have been and are contributors. IMO Edit for sp. [Edited 5/7/2009 10:48:55 AM PST]
5/7/2009 3:02:39 PM	Really Good Article
shari1955 Butler, KY age: 54	There as a show on this subject on 60 minutes or 20/20.. It showed that the me generation is being catered too. They have short work weeks and short days. They come to work with whatever they want on. They demand perks that we would had never and are getting them..
5/7/2009 5:57:22 PM	Really Good Article
pylgram Checotah, OK age: 60	I don't know where they get it from but I suspect it is from interacting with other kids at school. They put on a show of bragery and competency that fools the other kids into believing that this is the way they should behave in the world. I know I didn't raise my kid like that and I really had a hard time getting him to accept the idea that he had to help me with what I wanted him to help me with. His response was; He wasn't may damn slave. My response to that was; No, and I didn't raise a damn Royal Prince either. He has a real good work ethic now and sees that what I thought him was good. whether he liked it at the time or not. My son is different than most these days in that most parents don't force their kids to develop a good work ethic. That is someone elses job. Like when they get hired on at the local grocery store. Rude awakening. Pylgram
5/7/2009 7:06:28 PM	Really Good Article
qirki San Francisco, CA age: 63	My Son is a 2nd Lt. in the Army and has 20 guys under him. He is only a year or two older than the men he commands, and actually younger than some, but the difference in responsibility between him and his men is the difference between the sun and the moon. How do you teach a 22 year old responsibility? The military probably does a better job of it than any other organization in American society. Maybe that is why the ME generation attacks the military so consistently. I don't normally post things like this, but it also speaks to another topic here. There is a question about how young will you date. How any man or woman here could reach down into that generational divide and date someone with a ME mindset, is well beyond me. I raised children, I don't date them. JMO Qirki
5/7/2009 7:55:12 PM	Really Good Article
nenebubbles Naperville, IL age: 68 online now!	Thank you for the great article ... I have had moments wondering about that entitlement and me attitudes that I have been running into the last couple of years. Truly grateful that I am semi-retired. There are many young people that have a good work ethic and commitment to community and world but there are quite a few that are exactly like the article discussed.
5/7/2009 8:08:36 PM	Really Good Article
clarity101 Aurora, CO age: 58	great article qirki and great comments everyone...but really!!! you do not want to get me started on the ME GENERATION/ENTITILEMENT mindset. there is a fine example of that in the whitehouse today......oops! nuf said!

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