puzzlequeen
Martinsville, IN
age: 50
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Let me tell you of a great site I have been on 3 years ago it is called www.GROWW.com.
Great for what you are going through and they are so non judgemental, you can get alot from them for wisdom and thought.
I lost my husband 3 years ago 10/1/04 from possible Vioxx just sudden, he was 48, didnt know what happened thought I had lost all hope and got online from just looking for a support group, nothing around me in Martinsville, Indiana out in the sticks and the chatroom there, well, it changed my life tremendously.
They are the greatest people and it is a safe site for chatting, just becareful of the ones that try to sway you and the ones that try to be meanful against you they are always out there. Found one and I am lucky I just know how people can be hearthate, you know what I mean? Most times I found some really good people there.
Really honest and caring there.
You will get better just learn to see your feelings and just be kind to yourself.
The best thing I can tell you is just try to be around positive people and dont let yourself get swayed from that. Also when people say from the family they dont want you in it, oh well, then just dont take it to heart just remember to be you and you will find yourself sooner or later and dont take that. You deserve better than that.
Also I feel and always have felt, LOL "Its there loss not mine" We are special in your own individual way. Dont think otherwise.
Love yourself and be kind to you, if you want to cry just do it let the flow roll within yourself dont fight it. That is the worst you can do is fight the crying. Let it out when it happens. I know it is hard to say that but I have been there and know.
Gets better in time. Believe and you will get there.
If you have children be honest to them and let them know you are crying about that person and talk to them they suffer most because they are fighting it back because of you and want you to be happy but they dont know how you are and how you feel.
Your going to have to tell them. But if you get on this site I am serious. You will feel better about you. They can guide you for feeling and also telling your children how things are. They are the most wonderfull people I know. Such angels when I needed it.
I hope I have helped. I am still struggling but you always will, it doesnt go away but you grow from the experience and start feeling better from talking to others.
Hope I have helped. Always there if you need to talk with me. I am not a therapist but have been there and know how you feel.
Love ya, hope you can love yourself now. You will see alot of this there at GROWW.
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS to you)))))))))))))))))))))))))), this is always from the heart of us that know how you feel.
PuzzleQueen, email me anytime! Or just come to this forum and I will check back to see how you all are.
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61sunshine
North Augusta, SC
age: 61
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Sorry to hear about your husband. I lost mine 3 years ago Dec. 28 2 days before our 9th ann. Lost # 1 after 32 years so I know what you are going through. I find staying busy helps me get through each day and doing for others is fullfilling although I would like to meet someone, not neccessarily for marriage but for companionship. Hang in there and I'm glad the group helps you.
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star2angel
Dayton, NV
age: 54
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Thanks puzzlequeen, I am coming upon the 6th month since I lost my husband. You wrote wise words. Sorry for your loss also.
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puzzlequeen
Martinsville, IN
age: 50
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That is another thing to help as well. Staying busy, but take time for you as well.
Let things flow for you we find we do well with staying busy but that is not always the thing to keep us together, just remember to love you and get with you and stay intouch with you.
Kim.
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puzzlequeen
Martinsville, IN
age: 50
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Thanks Star, just remember there is a time out for you.
Take it and remember always, he or if your partner as we know nowadays, whatever, they do love you and want you to love you and always know they do love us.
No one can take that away from us or personally you.
They love us so much and you know, they really do just want us to remember they love us so much. At the same time they want us to love us and be kind to us.
I feel that is the sacrifice Jesus gave to us is to remember there is so much we as children of GOD need to learn and find out about new and always question . We are apart of GOD and he wants us to find our way back to him. That is what I have found in my experiences. Dont take this to heart if you dont want to, I am a person who says "Take it or leave it, in other words you can listen and take it in or you can throw it out the window and say there is a different road for me".
That love we have goes farther than you realize. It goes to the otherside with them.
When we die we take it with us. Maybe you dont believe me but I know for a fact it does go with them and it is still with us. That is why we feel so bad. Havent figured the bad part yet but when I figure it out I will let you know.
But you will be better later on it just takes each individual longer or shorter to heal or a little at a time, who knows. All I know is it just is up to us to find our way to a better understanding of the otherside to find out how we feel and get better.
I just started reading books about the otherside and realized the bigger picture of life.
All I know is just with the people you know in this world as we know it. Love them to the utmost and have the best of times with them if you love them so much.
They will reciprocate the love back when they do die and for people now and living they will be the same with you if you reflect that to them.
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