Advice on Dating an Army Officer

8/13/2009 7:31:36 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	OK I have some questions and I think this is the group that might just help me answer some of them. I met an Army Officer that is in Baghdad, Iraq and has been over there for 2 years. I have been talking to him for about 3 month now. He is going to retire next month and will be back in the USA. My problem is that he is very serious about the relationship with me. My concern is he has been telling me that he wants to get married. He wants me in his life forever. He told me that his wife died a few years ago and he was married only 1 time for 26 years. Well I think it's just a little to soon for all that after all we haven't actually met yet. Is there something about men that want to get married coming back from war? He has really been clingy to me. I have read that there are alot of Soldiers coming back looking to get marrried from Iraq. Can any of you enlighten me on this? Sometimes I feel that he could be playing me or lieing to me I just don't know? I want to believe he is telling me the truth on how he feels about me but then the other half of me says that he may be playing..He promised me that he wouldn't lie to me and I haven't caught him in one yet. Of course I know that his job is very demanding and he always tells me he will be back to talk to me and never does but I always hear from him 1 time a day even if it's just a quick hello. I know being an officer you have tons of paper work to do and he is always doing somthing for the general. I understand that his job comes first and then i come last. Do you think he would be a man of his word since he is in the army and much more mature gentleman? I know he is a human and humans do lie. Just need some advice can anyone help?? If you guys have any advice please throw it at me. [Edited 8/13/2009 7:36:42 PM ] Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
8/13/2009 8:33:12 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
millionchances Slidell, LA 53, joined Jan. 2009	Girlfriend, scroll thru this forum and find my thread on same topic. My experience...listen to your heart. Watch out for red flags. I found out the hard way,
8/13/2009 10:46:30 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	Oh really will do !!
8/28/2009 12:23:36 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	Million chances I took you advice and ran the other way..I am not ready to be married!! ecspecially to someone I have never met. Mission aborted!!!
8/28/2009 2:15:46 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
millionchances Slidell, LA 53, joined Jan. 2009	I'm sorry it didn't work out...I still break into a sweat when I see a soldier, but my heart will move much slower if I try again.
8/28/2009 3:18:33 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	Millionchances, Yes I am going to be cautious.. I have heart a heart of gold! I figured this one out after his true colors started showing..OMG!!Control is not the word I would use but the anger issue was terrible I am glad I seen it before I actaully met him. I guess I am just to damn nice and I am not the one to argue I will keep my mouth shut before I argue with anyone..I am not into playing games and being krazy life is just to short for that kind of drama!!I can understand people but when I have to walk on egg shells it's just not fun! I want to be happy and not miserable!! Just so glad I took some advice and saved my heart...Are there any good men out there left?? I guess he will find me one day..NO Drama!!
8/28/2009 4:41:28 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
reconmarine4u Albuquerque, NM 30, joined Aug. 2009	Good luck
8/28/2009 5:19:07 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
millionchances Slidell, LA 53, joined Jan. 2009	Proud ... My Soldier told me all along that most Soldiers are "dawgs". He warned me all the way. I realize now that's part of the schtick...Truth is, that's a lot of mens problems. After my experience, I've chilled a bit on trusting so freely. I mean, really, just because they wrap it up in a Red/White and Blue flag, that doesn't always make a man a hero, right? I do think most Soldiers are heroes...even the one that hurt me. But it doesn't necessarily make them REAL MEN when they get back home. Military needs to clean it up a bit. Show these boys how to face realities on the homeland too.
8/28/2009 5:23:33 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
rantinreddbeanz Yazoo City, MS 47, joined Jun. 2009	U've got both good an bad men in the military, just as out here in the civilian world.
8/28/2009 7:58:06 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
millionchances Slidell, LA 53, joined Jan. 2009	True Dat, Beanz....
8/29/2009 5:06:06 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
newlady2 Goldsboro, NC 76, joined Apr. 2008	These Boys are strong and willing to fight for you and country..You want them to act like angels after all the damn crap they go through over there...?? If you really care , get to know ( In depth) some military families and learn how tolerant/ yet strong we can be.. Most of the deported on return need time - yes time- to re-adjust and to be home ..I mean the country not just the building!! And many also need mental help!.
8/29/2009 1:34:58 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
rantinreddbeanz Yazoo City, MS 47, joined Jun. 2009	Bein a vet myself I've dated military an civilian. In all honesty I'd rather date an active duty military man or a vet before a civilian.
9/2/2009 10:53:14 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
millionchances Slidell, LA 53, joined Jan. 2009	NewLady...don't automatically assume I slammed all soldiers. ...and I've dated more civilians that needed mental help that some of the vets I've dated! [Edited 9/2/2009 10:54:26 AM ]
9/3/2009 4:18:00 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	I just don't understand why some people have to be so rude! It's just uncalled for! If you can't be nice why make a post I mean sheesh!! Million- Sorry for the rudeness but on the post I took care of it. Have a great day!! I have gave up on looking I am planning on canceling my profile. [Edited 9/3/2009 4:18:56 AM ]
9/3/2009 5:54:22 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ 67, joined Jul. 2007	Not to be mean--not to be nasty--but I will be RIGHT UP FRONT about this----so here it is. FORGET that he is an officer in the military---he is JUST A MAN. He has some sort of story for YOU--its designed to grab your attention and lure you into his boundaries. That puts YOU at a disadvantage--in a number of ways. we will get to that in a minute. He is way to unsettled--he is NOT HOME--you will probably be nothing more than someone to do stuff for him while he sits on his a** when he gets home--using your car--your money--your food--your body---and your time. This is a man who is very good at luring women--right now he is luring you. FORGET the nice conversation--he is saying anything to GET TO YOUR HEART--then to your body!! GUARANTEED---!!! being an officer does not mean a thing--officers can control and manipulate a women as well as anyone else. he isn't here--you do NOT know him--you can't possibly believe his bullcrap---and if he loses you--he will go after another sucker!!..... believe it!!! He is not mature--he is playing with you---you better wait until he comes home and PROVES to you that he is working--making his own money--not a retard--or alcoholic--or abuser. You sound like someone who can be TRICKED EASILY---I know you say you aren't--but I can read it and see it by the words and questions. Why is he not looking for a smart, grounded strong woman??? Because a smart, grounded, strong woman sees thru these types of men. You obviously cannot!!How can he be serious about you?? A few lousy phone calls --a few lousy words?? GET A GRIP DEARIE--IT AINT HAPPENING--if you think it is--you better get your head examined--I am serious---this is a male and NOTHING ELSE!!!!! he knows the game and you do N O T !!!!!Tell him you aren't interested in his cheap words--how could you possibly think that this is legitimate ??. Dead wife???--what a crock of poop--what a story---are you for real--you believe this crap??? jesus christmas.. does he have you hooked---better get away from him. IT IS NOT A SOLDIER THING--ITS A MANIPULATIVE MALE THING!!!!!! [Edited 9/3/2009 5:57:55 AM ]
9/3/2009 3:22:43 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	th6231- Thank you for your input. I have already figured the stupid stuff out..I was over this along time ago..I can't believe everything. You are correct he is a Man!! And good at what he does...He didn't get clingy until he knew when he was coming back to the states and that's when I stopped talking to him. He scared me allright! I appreciate your honesty! Omission was aborted along time ago..........I am new to the online dating so go figure!
9/3/2009 3:27:57 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
1proudusafmom Olive Branch, MS 46, joined Mar. 2009	Mission Aborted thanks for all Your help Million Chances!! I appreciate your honesty th6321 just a little to late but I take criticism well and learn from it...Thanks again!
10/8/2009 12:19:53 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
l3l309 Fayetteville, NC 24, joined Oct. 2009	No imma try my good luck with you!! @ reconmarine4u [Edited 10/8/2009 12:20:32 AM ]
10/14/2009 2:51:37 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
saesph1 Centerville, PA 54, joined May. 2009	Military folks like to cut out the red tape, jump the line, move out and draw fire, drive on, etc. We don't like to waste time we did the "hurry up and wait" thing. You need to take your time. No sense getting married right away, it's not 1946, it's 2009.
10/16/2009 9:10:58 AM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
checzu Richmond Hill, GA 54, joined Oct. 2009	Some women have a difficult time understanding military men. I think this is because not many have the opportunity to meet them, they are absorbed in a world few Americans experience. Your soldier has very little time for himself. This causes him to plan personal matters well in advance as he is always subject to Operation "Hey You!". As an Army officer, he's been trained and drilled on being decisive, a trait that may also surprise those not familiar with the military. If you are uncomfortable with his planning, tell him so up front, he's a big boy, he'll handle it. You will not be last in his priorities; Needs of the Army first, family second, me last. An Army wife must be strong and independent as she has "The toughest job in the Army." As far as character and moral fiber, he is a winner. Successful Army wives are some of the most impressive people you would ever hope to meet. If you're up for it, it will be an amazing life. If, however, you need a man home every weekend and holiday, think long and hard. My wife did it for 22 years and has my everlasting respect for her accomplishment, especially considering she also mothered two sons, finished her college degree (nursing) and started her own consulting service. Good luck, and if it applies, welcome to the Army family.
10/17/2009 10:26:23 PM	Advice on Dating an Army Officer
f1951 Irrigon, OR 63, joined May. 2008	I agree, it takes patience. Mine now deceased at 58 years young and fit in Jan 07'. Was a gentle strong and loving man. He had probably worked through most of his post VV with his first wife. I was his third and final MRS. As he put it is dreams finally coming true. I miss him. I'm a young 58 widow. I can tell you the civilan pop. are as calulating users as any other males and females a like. There are givers and takers, it is not gender specific.. Mine was a giver, and for that I will forever be grateful, Sempe Fi. [Edited 10/17/2009 10:29:14 PM ]

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