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9/20/2009 10:18:40 AM Long Term Relationships  

tammymb
Quarryville, PA
age: 48


So I have been wondering as a peruse the profiles..I see many are looking for a "long term relationship". Does it really exist? Or as humans always looking for something "better" are we too be busy looking to see if the grass is greener then to settle for the relationship you are in?

Sunday afternoon and I think I'm doing way too much thinking.

Thoughts?

9/20/2009 10:29:12 AM Long Term Relationships  

panhead1k
Over 1,000 Posts (1,090)
Irwin, PA
age: 41


I think has humans we went and need the stablity of a LTR. however sometimes hormones, boredom and such outweigh the security and people stray. At least thats my thoughts. I was faithful for 18 years and never gave in to temptations. Even now I'm not really interested in casual sex.


I think I'm insane and need help.

9/20/2009 1:06:04 PM Long Term Relationships  

tammymb
Quarryville, PA
age: 48


Quote from panhead1k:
I think has humans we went and need the stablity of a LTR. however sometimes hormones, boredom and such outweigh the security and people stray. At least thats my thoughts. I was faithful for 18 years and never gave in to temptations. Even now I'm not really interested in casual sex.


I think I'm insane and need help.



Thank you for your input. I'm sorry I can't help with your sanity

9/20/2009 2:44:15 PM Long Term Relationships  

stumppy
Over 2,000 Posts (2,943)
Bath, PA
age: 63


Unless I was dozing in my anthropology courses, people are programmed, to be a part of a close group, typically a familty group. However, momma nature, also, programs both sexes to find a sexual partner that will best provide the ability to pass on half their genes.. Males do it trying to use a shotgun effect, while females do it by selecting someone that will provide them the security to raise offsprings. i.e. take care of the kid, and that means take care of me so I can take cared of the kid.

9/20/2009 2:47:47 PM Long Term Relationships  

inkedbod
Over 2,000 Posts (2,946)
Waterford, PA
age: 45


STUMP !YOU ARE A WISE MAN !!!!!!!

9/20/2009 3:19:33 PM Long Term Relationships  

tammymb
Quarryville, PA
age: 48


In a word WOW. So yes that is how it is SUPPOSED to work so how is divorce explained? And you can still support your child and the momma can still take care of her child however the two "momma and poppa" don't necessarly need to care for each other and sometimes look for something "more" something they are missing.

Okay maybe this is giving me away but I'm petrified of LTR's lol You go in to it for the long haul then someone wakes up years later and goes..well that was long term enough for me. hmmmm

9/20/2009 4:47:39 PM Long Term Relationships  

wolfin576
Ford City, PA
age: 53


Depends on your definition of "long term". For some it's " until death do us part" and for some it's "until something better comes along". Years ago it's was almost unheard of to get a divorce but along came the "no fault" divorce and the cases sky rocketed. I also believe that the morality behind the vows taken during marriage is gone. In my local paper there use to be tons of 25 and 50 year marriage anniversaries and now I'm lucky to see any. The LTRs that last are the ones who accept the person for who they are and don't try to change the other into someone they think they want.

9/21/2009 2:28:51 PM Long Term Relationships  

kevinbarry
Mount Joy, PA
age: 65


Quote from tammymb:
So I have been wondering as a peruse the profiles..I see many are looking for a "long term relationship". Does it really exist? Or as humans always looking for something "better" are we too be busy looking to see if the grass is greener then to settle for the relationship you are in?

Sunday afternoon and I think I'm doing way too much thinking.

Thoughts?


It seems like we have gravitated from "Long Term everything" to "Everything and Everyone is disposable" and that is sad.

You take a job in hopes that it will work out - sometimes it is temporary in nature and you already know the end date. As we get older, we become very expensive to companies - from a salary perspective to 401k contributions to health care costs, so companies find ways to shed their rolls of older people.

We start a relationship with gleeful anticipation of it lasting forever. When a few bumps in the road appear, sometimes people just fold up the tent and leave at the first sign of trouble. I am looking for a good, solid, relationship where there is mutual respect - where both individuals talk through issues and ASSUME nothing. Also, I do not want someone to be my EVERYTHING. Sure, I want to share a lot of interests but I also want my space to do stuff - with a bud or all by myself. Keep in mind that everything I do outside of the relationship with friends will not violate the agreements made in the relationship.

When you are with someone, you see that person at his/her best and at his/her worst. When you compare that person to someone else, the grass will usually be greener because all you see is the best side of that person.

If you date long enough before you commit to each other, you will have already seen all the "bads" unless that person is the master of disguise. That is why socialogists and psychologists suggest you know a person for FOUR seasons so you will have roughly a year to see the thick and the thin.

Even though most of us are older, we do not need to rush things. The dating period is a wonderful period and to simply blow through it to get to somewhere prematurely is really wack-o. IMHO.

9/21/2009 2:52:22 PM Long Term Relationships  

stumppy
Over 2,000 Posts (2,943)
Bath, PA
age: 63


It's survival of the fittest.

We all want the best chance to succeed..

However, we need to define within our hearts & minds what we feel success is?

9/21/2009 4:00:52 PM Long Term Relationships  

christineone
Rising Sun, MD
age: 62


Ithink alot of people put that they are seeking longterm relationships because of the fact that they are on a dating site and dont want the opposite sex to think that they are just looking for a roll in the sack with just anybody.You know, looking for love in all the wrong places,im sure youve all heard that one before,ha, i know i have.Ibelieve that the majority of people are seeking this but that the right person has to come along first.