| 10/6/2009 9:29:13 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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cactusflower13
Fredonia, TX
age: 73
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Dustin very kindly gave us a private place, Friends Only Chat, to discuss those things which either should not be discussed in public threads, or which we did not care to discuss there.
I see day after day threads devoted almost completely to derogatory statements made about others here with enough seemingly anonymous information to identify the person. I would suggest that since these people insist on keeping these in the public threads that they be forced to take it to FOC, whether or not they want to. I've been in close contact to enough newbies to know that it is derogatory statements like seen in these threads that oftentimes make them not want to stay.
I've recommended this site to four people, three of whom were simply run off by the negativity directed at them by the ones who most often post these things, and seen in the public threads, and one who just read a bit, made one post, was insulted for his position, and decided that this was not the place for him.
If there is anything negative, derogatory, flaming, attacking you want to say, TAKE IT TO THE FOC. Until something is done about this negativity about other members in public threads is corrected, I cannot in good consceience recommend it to anyone of my friends. Does any one else feel this way ?
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| 10/6/2009 5:55:52 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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nycarebear
Lagrangeville, NY
age: 62
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Cactus,
I would have to totally agree with you, but the ironic part is that it is a "friends only" chat group. would those who are sparring against one another actually want to do it in private? I tend to think not. Even private e-mails get copied and posted on the open site, so this time I am verrrry leary of posting anything anywhere other then the neutral zones. I resigned due to all the negativity but then realized it was a foolish thing to do. people are human and they will fight to the end to survive, especially if they feel that there are unjust statements being made. shalom..
[Edited 10/6/2009 5:59:40 PM PST]
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| 10/6/2009 6:15:28 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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10snut
Haughton, LA
age: 62
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Cactus - I totally agree that those people should take their griping to FOC....but then they would not get the attention they so crave. And their purpose is to demean, degrade and antagonize others and they couldn't do that in FOC...
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| 10/6/2009 7:00:35 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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ava_adore
Concord, CA
age: 20
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It would be nice if people would stick things more where they belong. I am seeing a lot of things that aren't even allowed here lately, like people posting others' usernames telling other people to beware of them and the like. If that is going to be tolerated then it should only be tolerated in regional chat where it might actually help people avoid them if they really are a scammer, or friends only chat.
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| 10/7/2009 5:29:01 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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pretty_moonpa
Bath, PA
age: 69
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It does tend to become annoying when it is the SAME thing day after day after day. And by the way...........they want it public. No matter what thread that type posts on it is all about THEIR agenda. Sometimes I lose track of what that is LOL......But like I say.A N N O Y I N G.
Lets face it.....its ALWAYS the same ones and heaven forbid you say its enough already. Dustin cant force someone that is here to cause trouble to use FOC. No one would see their rants but their friends. LOL.
Cactus like you I have seen new people leave. I myself rarely post in the threads anymore, Dont need that at my age..........
PEACE
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| 10/7/2009 11:02:38 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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dustin
Roseville, CA
age: 29
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You guys need to block these types of people who just cause trouble, that way you won't see any of their posts.
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| 10/7/2009 11:27:32 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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blackangel09
Charmco, WV
age: 40
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exactly Dustin is right,foc was designed to give us that privacy that can be veiwed only by our friends so if it something your seeing that you don't like in foc then it's coming from your friends. the only ways to solve that is to either throw them off of your list and pick different friends or just plain out block them.
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| 10/8/2009 4:58:43 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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cactusflower13
Fredonia, TX
age: 73
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Dustin, I agree and blocking keeps ME from seeing it , but it's the new people coming in who see this negativity, and as I stated, I know of several who have left the site because of it. Blocking only keeps me from having to see it, but not new people coming in. They don't know any better and often form their opinion of the site from that experience.
These people want an audience and I'd like to see them totally deprived of one. JMO, of course.
[Edited 10/8/2009 4:59:46 PM PST]
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| 10/8/2009 5:06:10 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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cactusflower13
Fredonia, TX
age: 73
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exactly Dustin is right,foc was designed to give us that privacy that can be veiwed only by our friends so if it something your seeing that you don't like in foc then it's coming from your friends. the only ways to solve that is to either throw them off of your list and pick different friends or just plain out block them.
These people are not bashing each other but other members of the site. And it is not isolated incidences. It goes on and on. It seems to make these folks feel superior to demean and denigrate others and their opinions or efforts, so it could very easily be discussed among themselves in FOC instead of in the public threads. There is on small group here who regularly practice this hurtful and certainly unhelpful to the site activity.
I don't know about your FOC, but in mine, if something really makes us mad, we discuss it among ourselves there and we don't mention names or give out revealing descriptions in the public threads. That, in my mind is how it should be done. If you disagree or dislike someone and something they do, discuss the person with your friends, in private, not in public. We respect ourselves and even the nasty ones.
No one here can like everyone and there are those who just get on your last nerve. You dont' blast them in public, you take it private and vent to your friends who either sympatize or disagree with you.
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| 10/9/2009 1:43:03 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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badluck4u
Bonifay, FL
age: 38
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im new on this site how nwhere do i go to intro ??? im lost in the beging of all this can u help me understand how to use this page. please
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| 10/9/2009 6:43:20 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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cactusflower13
Fredonia, TX
age: 73
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Simply go to your age group and there is an intoduction thread at the top of the page. Take it from there. AS to how to use this page, you've already done it. No introduction needed. Enjoy your time here.
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| 10/13/2009 12:26:15 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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thomast444
Alma, AR
age: 67
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Dear Folks, just viewed your comments, think so many of you are right, if for any reason I have ever hurt anyones feeling I will be the first one to step up and say I am truly sorry, I have never but one time said anything to someone who i felt was truly out of line. I love to tease and that is my nature and i expect anyone who feels i was out of line to speak up then, not later, i have two broad shoulders and if i am wrong willing to take ten lashes, perhaps we need a code like the big 10 from the Bible or something along that line. I hope i didn't barge in at the wrong time, tom
[Edited 10/13/2009 12:27:40 PM PST]
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| 10/17/2009 4:53:15 PM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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nycarebear
Lagrangeville, NY
age: 62
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it's rather difficult to apologize to ppl when they and several of their friends have me blocked. For the past hour I have tried to post some things in the 60's group only to have it say " I cannot post" because I am blocked. Oh well, life here on DH continues to be a whirlwind of diverse personalities. I cannot take anything privately because I can't connect.  So much for cyber-relationships. Some are not a give and take like the real world. Here it's a "guilty" verdict before all the facts are in. sad!
To quote Dr.Phil " No matter how flat the pancake, there are still two sides."
[Edited 10/17/2009 4:58:06 PM PST]
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| 11/26/2009 9:46:12 AM |
A Very Underused Feature of DH |
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sisqhawk
Tioga, ND
age: 69
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I was turned off by the various negative reception I got [the old timers there seemed to think they were in charge of something]. I got the impression that a chat room or forum was the only world they lived in and that seemed sad. I prefer to live in the real world and only use cyberspace as a tool and communication. I have had many good email chats with people around the world. Some have become very good friends..... Just an opinion from an old guy that has met many people that seem to think they grander than they really are. Have a great day. f
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