| 1/12/2008 2:36:19 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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jules34
Quincy, IL
age: 35
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So, the last 2 days my 8 year old daughter and I have been planning a "girls day". We went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks, the arcade and were in the mall. She starts throwing this major fit because she wanted to eat. It was only 4 in the afternoon and we just had a bag of popcorn and she had lunch. It seems like every time I make a real effort to do something she throws a tantrum.(which I can't afford to do often) So, now she can't do anything tonight and I'm stuck in the house too. I'm so frustrated! Can anybody feel my pain????? 
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| 1/12/2008 2:38:53 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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osohard4u
Dubuque, IA
age: 36
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yes been there done that.you are just doing it to your self.
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| 1/12/2008 4:33:51 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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scarlett_rose7
Boerne, TX
age: 39
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i have been there and done that....i can't drive so i'm at my house all the time with no public transportation...yes my family is not far from me however when you depend on them for your way around and they help you with you kid which is good but is sad also i get only on the wkds unless you have an appointment in town or something like that
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| 1/12/2008 10:25:53 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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oldfashionedgrl
Sumner, WA
age: 45
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I understand your frustration and your pain, as I've been there many times. Thank goodness I'm past those days, but they happen or have happened to all of us with kids at one time or another. You just have to try and make the best of it.
My suggestion to you would be not to get your hopes up to high to have this fabulous day with your daughter next time. Oftentimes the best laid plans don't turn out the way we'd like them to. It sounds like you had a great time up to that point. Maybe it was too much in one day or maybe she was tired. It's taken me a long time to realize that what I want my time with my boys to be is totally different than what they want. They are now 15 & 18, but it's taken me a long time to get to this point.
Hang in there.
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| 1/13/2008 1:07:16 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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jules34
Quincy, IL
age: 35
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Thanks girls. I appreciate the good advice. It helps to know that it gets better and it does make sense not to build something up so much. It's like dating, I guess, if you build it up too much you're bound to be disappointed
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| 1/14/2008 7:16:06 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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philtime
Saint Paul, MN
age: 37
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Those "growing spurts" do come and go. Bring lots of water and cheezits for back up.
Ah, yes. Being stuck inside and financial struggles are the worst. It's really hard to just pick up a book with them or just horse around and toss around my kids on the couch. The spontaneous things can break the monotony  
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| 1/15/2008 2:55:37 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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kipling
Oskaloosa, IA
age: 35
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yes, of course we have had this problem. dont let it get you down or take away from what you had planned. My daughter and i go on 'dates' once a week. sometimes she behaves, sometimes not. the thing to remember is that this is a time for you and her to be together, when your attention is all on her. this is her special time. when my daughter began throwing fits, i would just ignore them or laugh at them. this seemed to work best. they didnt upset me (as far as she knew). after a very short time, they stopped. my daughter is the center of my life, and she gets to see evidence of that on our 'dates'. i have to keep reminding myself that all i do for her, she takes for granted. of course she does, she is only a child. our 'dates' let her know that she is the one i care about and want to make happy. so we go for ice cream, or a petting zoo, or almost anything. it is rarely a very large production.
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| 1/19/2008 6:41:30 AM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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lichaboricua
East Hartford, CT
age: 35
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Yes I Do! I just start playing with my kids.. I turn off the lights and yell come and find me, or I do stand up comedy about the way they act and about when they were babies. It works! I make up words and have them repeat them and we start laughing or I make a mess with them. Hey, can't beat them, join them. It is fun. I can't spend money so I make home very fun.
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| 1/19/2008 4:55:19 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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whtgngrflower
Opp, AL
age: 38
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Totally been there. My girls are 19 and 9 and I have a 4 yr old boy. He's easy, He throws a fit I get down on the floor and throw one with him. He decides quick I can yell louder than him and make more of a scene. My girls, well, I learned from the oldest one what to take away that wouldn't punish me too. No friends over for a couple weekends usually got her attention. Or taking away her horseback riding. Something that she would enjoy but wouldn't affect me as much. Good luck to you and God Bless. 
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| 1/19/2008 5:53:13 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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johnnychavis
New Ellenton, SC
age: 38
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thats funny every time i take my kids any where they always want to eat lol i think my son could out eat horse without trying.i just let them know where my money goes and they understand.besides there is so many things you can do at home with her as long as you get to spened time with your kids thats all that should really matter.i love every min of it and i can't wait to have my time with them.i miss haveing them 24/7.
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| 1/19/2008 10:42:56 PM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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snowflake77
Texas City, TX
age: 34
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hey Jules,
I have this problem with my son as well. I definitely feel the frustration. It ruins the whole day. I had to lay out the rules before going. If you eat popcorn at the movies then you will not have another snack before dinner....etc. Now, during the growing spurts, my rules were the same but I "surprised" him with a bag of chips or cookies and gave it to him BEFORE he complained of the hunger, it is more special if it is before they ask for it. And then I explain why I brought it "I noticed you've been eating everything in sight lately and thought you would like these at a special treat today, if you get hungry later, I'll give them to you okay?" Half the time my son didn't ask for them. I would love to tell you it is a phase but not always. It could be....
1. the child acting out due to changes in their life
2. the child's personality (spoiled or demanding kid)
3. result of unconsistant parenting/guilty parent
4. signs of a oncoming illness/high fever
Hope this s...let me know if you want any other examples of what has worked for me. I have one son, one adopted son, three foster boys, and two foster girls. And ALL my kids threw fits for one or more of the above reasons.
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| 1/20/2008 11:27:34 AM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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aniceguy4you2lv
Visalia, CA
age: 43
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There is another reason for the acting out sometimes, and it is very simple that the child is just craving your un-divided attention. The movie is the interruption. I had three girls so doing anything was a major pain on the money side. I found out that what they really wanted was my time not the movie or carnival. We would go to McDonalds drive thru and then just go play at the park and we had a lot more fun. It was better for me because I was not thinking about the money and therefore I would not get pissed if they had a fit. They had less fits because they were getting what they really wanted in the first place.
When are doing it all by ourselves it is very easy to get caught up in the day to day work and we forget why we are doing it. We are doing it for our children in the first place. Like all parents I wanted to give my kids more and better than I had, until I realized that I had a great childhood, and we didn't have anything to speak of. It was the effort that my parents made to spend time with us everyday that made the difference.
I hope that this helps you.
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| 1/20/2008 11:32:50 AM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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aniceguy4you2lv
Visalia, CA
age: 43
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A friend of mine posted this on Myspace, maybe it can help us put things in perspective.
PARENT - Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!
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| 2/2/2008 5:21:25 AM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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tsylos
Tasmania
Australia
age: 49
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Hey Jules,
How have things been with your daughter in recent times? When these outings are organised, does she have input into the planning? Do you talk with her about how her tantrums make you feel? In the past, have you given in to her demands when she has thrown a tantrum?
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| 2/2/2008 8:38:05 AM |
does anyone else have this problem? |
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metal1970
Towson, MD
age: 38
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I've been there too. I am also un a budget and when I do take my daughter out to eat she can act like a brat. The thing to do is tell your daughter when she askes again, NO, Your eight years old, every time we go out you throw a fit and act like a two year old. After telling her No a few times. You plan a day and don't tell her. this will surprise her and then she it may be more meaningful. If she throws a fit when you do take her out. Then never do it again.. Seems harsh but nessasary. Good luck.
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