Deranged people

4/2/2010 1:36:26 AM	Deranged people
not_mike Denver, CO age: 33	I'm really going out on a limb here, but quite frankly, I REALLY need advice. Here's the skinny: The ONLY people that have ever taken ANY kind of romantic interest in me have had SERIOUS emotional problems. As a result, my entire love life has never been "healthy". I have wound up in some VERY BAD situations (where my life was literally in peril on a daily basis, in my own personal worst decision). When I meet good people, they want NOTHING to do with me as anything more than friends. I have heard the phrase "You're a great person. I know you'll find someone great some day." more times than I can count. I know I'm not ugly. I know I'm a good person. I go OUT OF MY WAY to be a good person. Tired of ending up in bad situations, I lowered my standards, and ended up in (are you ready?) ANOTHER bad situation, with someone I had NO physical attraction to. Now, after I have been used and (yes, this is baggage) HORRIBLY abused, I find myself: A: VERY lonely B. Afraid to start a relationship, because I just KNOW she'll be absolutely PSYCHO, like all the others have been. Crazy people don't know they're crazy. They believe they are acting within the boundaries of conventional rationale. Here's what I want to know: Why are these psychotic women drawn to me, while good-natured, rational, emotionally stable people only want me as a friend? If I am worth friendship, aren't I worth more? I realize that I have presented this in a somewhat comical fashion, but that's just how I am. I don't want jokes. I want answers. Meet singles in your area here at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free for everything! Join now!
4/2/2010 7:39:41 AM	Deranged people
jeramotion Bailey, CO age: 31	Dude no jokes coming from me here. I feel the exact same way, I've been asking myself the same question for years. I think it has to do with being "nice." Girls that have something to offer, something going on themselves, have options, don't like nice, safe, boring guys. They want excitement and danger. Psychopaths on the other hand, take whatever they can get, and more often than not, us nice guys fall to their bait. We think we can help them by being kind to them... While it's noble and good, it's never in our best interest. But being a nice guy, we don't think of ourselves first. Another thing is most people don't know how to handle being confronted with a selfless nice caring person. They get freaked out. I don't really have any advice, some people are good, most are not. I'm hoping to find someone someday who is truly good. People have no honor anymore.
4/2/2010 7:45:14 AM	Deranged people
irishmoore Aurora, CO age: 38	Well, the same thing can be said from a woman's perspective. I just ended a marriage filled with mental abuse (i.e., alcoholism, suicide attempts, severe depression). I think we all try to hard to find the ideal -- we spend all of our energy trying to find that person. Does he or she exist? Perhaps. Will we ever find that person? Perhaps not. The key to me I think is enjoying your life in the meantime on a daily basis and not focus so much on finding that special someone. It sounds trite, but it will happen when you stop looking and least expect it. And BTW, deranged goes both ways, both men and women.....
4/2/2010 8:35:53 AM	Deranged people
sama_i_ama Denver, CO age: 29	maybe you ave to decide exactly what you want i a women. youre choosing the whack jobs somehow. maybe try going out of your comfort zone. dating someone youre afraid you wont have anything in common with. that works ok for me. i had a rather traumatic marriage like irishs. im very careful now.
4/2/2010 9:19:28 AM	Deranged people
not_mike Denver, CO age: 33	Believe me, I know it goes both ways. I've seen other people go through bad relationships, too. It looks like those of us represented here have all been in abusive relationships of one kind or another. Furthermore, it sounds like most of our respective "others" may have had dependency issues. My ex, for example, REFUSES to believe some of the worst things she did when she was drunk (like waking me up with a knife to my throat... more than once). Why do we do it? I think the nail was hit RIGHT on the head earlier... We're NICE people. I don't want to call my life boring, but I will be the first to admit that I certainly have a thirst for adventure, which I typically don't see a lot of. We find these people who provide that sense of adventure and end up on our faces because of it. Furthermore, I see a cycle here... I go out on several dates, and get SO TIRED of either getting stood up, or hearing "just a friend", that I "settle for" the first person I find that takes even the SLIGHTEST interest in me because I get so lonely. My comfort zone isn't the issue. I meet plenty of women that I like. I've never really existed in a "comfort zone". The trouble is getting other people to leave theirs. I know you can't make someone like you, so I'm not about to embarrass myself by trying. I've seen the results, and it's never pretty. When I've seen other people do that, they end up looking like psycho stalkers and I don't want to be "that guy". So I guess the real question is: Why do "normal people" not take an interest in me?
4/2/2010 12:17:20 PM	Deranged people
sama_i_ama Denver, CO age: 29	i look for freinds. and sort of sabotage myself being shy most times. men are scary. i have kids. my happiness depends on me, not anyone else. ii cant make myself happy, i cant even hope to make a man happy. cut and dry. learn to be happy alone,the love will wander in unexpectedly, ill bet.
4/2/2010 5:13:09 PM	Deranged people
trippy_hare Arvada, CO age: 27	Ok, let's examine this logically. The ONLY people that have ever taken ANY kind of romantic interest in me have had SERIOUS emotional problems. As a result, my entire love life has never been "healthy". I have wound up in some VERY BAD situations (where my life was literally in peril on a daily basis, in my own personal worst decision). Every relationship you've ever been in has been a disaster, yes? Consider those experiments. Every experiment is designed to test as few variables as possible, to determine which variable affects the outcome. Thus far, all these experiments have ended the same way- in disaster- and have had one variable in common- you. This means that either you attract- or are attracted to- problematic people. In the immortal words of Dr. Drew, "your picker is broken". Thus, if your own judgment as to a person's potential candidacy for a relationship is demonstrably flawed, the implication is that anyone you feel excited about and attracted to is going to fit the same criteria that you used previously- i.e., will be trouble. I recommend being single a while, and maybe taking to a counselor or therapist. A lot of people get this sort of wild-eyed desperation to find anyone, so they won't be single anymore. Well, being single isn't all that bad, and as soon as you let go of the frenzied desire to not be, you can approach dating from a more logical bent. Further, counseling or therapy can help you identify what it is about crazy chicks that attracts you to them (my guess is the typical Nice Guy need to "save them" from whatever their crazyheaded nonsense is), or what it is about you that attracts crazy chicks. When I meet good people, they want NOTHING to do with me as anything more than friends. I have heard the phrase "You're a great person. I know you'll find someone great some day." more times than I can count. There's a few possibilities here- primarily, it would appear (if what you're saying is true) that you do not attract the more stable, healthy sort of people. Which, frankly, sucks. But, bemoaning this tragic fate does nothing to change it. If you cannot attract someone capable of having a relationship, it may be that you are unintentionally sabotaging it, or it may be that you haven't found someone with whom you are compatible. I know I'm not ugly. I know I'm a good person. I go OUT OF MY WAY to be a good person. I think I found it. See, people who are responsive to, and ready to have, a healthy relationship won't need you to be a good person. The conditions which force you to go "out of your way" to be the Ubermenscht Nice Guy can only arise out of a shit-and-chaos foundation. Well-adjusted people aren't going to make you stretch yourself thin to be nice, because there's absolutely no need for it, since they are capable of coping with life's tribulations just fine on their own. Sounds to me like you fell into Typical Nice Guy Trap #2- Trying to Fix Everything By Being Nice. Tired of ending up in bad situations, I lowered my standards, and ended up in (are you ready?) ANOTHER bad situation, with someone I had NO physical attraction to. Well, that was stupid of you, wasn't it? Standards exist for a reason. Now, after I have been used and (yes, this is baggage) HORRIBLY abused, I find myself: A: VERY lonely Understandable. Humans are social animals. We like being around other humans. HOWEVER- you admit to being traumatized, yet you seem to think that despite a predictable pattern of bad things occurring, somehow you can do the same thing you always do, and MAGICALLY it will turn out different. B. Afraid to start a relationship, because I just KNOW she'll be absolutely PSYCHO, like all the others have been. Crazy people don't know they're crazy. They believe they are acting within the boundaries of conventional rationale. You mean, like doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Dude, listen. You can't work this out on your own. You admit that you've tried, and repeatedly ended up in the same bad place. So instead of just doing the same thing, try something different. Here's what I want to know: Why are these psychotic women drawn to me, while good-natured, rational, emotionally stable people only want me as a friend? If I am worth friendship, aren't I worth more? This can be answered with counseling. I don't know anybody on the internet who is qualified to make that diagnosis for you. I realize that I have presented this in a somewhat comical fashion, but that's just how I am. I don't want jokes. I want answers. Well, an internet dating site forum isn't a good place to look, frankly. You should really think about talking to a professional. And if that's not an option, then just be single for a while. In my experience, happiness isn't something you can set out to find, it's something that finds you. So be patient and let it.

top hookup sites

hot hookup com