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Forums: Groups: 40's: Why are there so many lonely people!!
1/19/2008 6:53:26 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

mariatwo
Appleton, WI
age: 49

 Since I've joined the ranks of the divorced,(and it is another world altogether!) I have discovered "out there" many lonely souls that pine and long to find their soul mate and fall in love. Why is it so difficult to find your special someone? Why are there so many lonely people out there?
1/19/2008 7:15:04 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

drummrboy
Belmont, MA
age: 43

 because by the time you're 40, u carrying at least some baggage. and if u have been in a relationship, and lost, you're probably a little jaded. so, going forward into another relationship, alot of people are, more cautious, about giving themselves unconditionally. me, i'm very jaded. but i'm working on it. doing everything to things in perspective. the past is the past. leave it the alone. bury it id u have to, and then bury the shovel the buried your past. try to be open-minded. don't compare today's relationship to yesterday. no one needs to carry that kind of baggage around. soon, you'll realize, the sun is brighter, the air is fresher, food tastes better. next thing you're in love again. then, and only then, can u start this all over again. oh brother! ain't love grand! remember, never stop believing in yourself. don't let anyone tell u your worth. for only u know the worth of who u r.
here endth the lesson. best of luck.

1/19/2008 7:44:16 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

easytouch3
Mount Clemens, MI
age: 46 online now!

 Because were all on the computer and not out there mixing it up [I gotta get a life ]
1/19/2008 7:57:49 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

 I relate loneliness to community. We, here in America, seem to be anti-community. Heck, even married couples are lonely.

I feel if you have a strong social network it will help your lonliness and your overall emotional state. Close family, good friends, clubs, fraternities, religious congregations and even sites such as this one qualifies as a social network. The more you are involved in community the more likely you're going to discover a like-minded person to fix that emotional loneliness.



[Edited 1/19/2008 7:58:58 PM]
1/20/2008 2:28:07 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

lisouthernstar
West Islip, NY
age: 45

 From my experience in the online dating sites, it would appear that many people won't give another the time of day. Don't mean to sound coarse or super negative, but how many women I've seen who whine in their bios about how l-o-n-e-l-y they are, yet won't even have the decency to answer an email from a guy who just might be that Mr. Right. I'm sure the same goes for men. Is there an addiction to these sites and/or a fear that going exclusive with one person will result in missing Mr. or Mrs. Ultimate???? Life's a crapshoot- we all take chances when we enter a relationship. However, as one prior post put it, there is a lack of community these days and I relate that to the disposable nature of society- nothing's built to last with longevity: we lease a car for 2 years then get rid of it; technology makes that computer or high tech TV obsolete within three months after you buy it; if a relationship hits a speedbump it's easier - and more tempting- to go for that divorce or breakup rather than stick around and work at it.
1/20/2008 7:02:22 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

katie5579
Woburn, MA
age: 46

 I agree there is a lack of the community today. It once was the church or religious organizations, political affiliations,girl/boy scouts, PTA, League of woman voters, Lions Club, Masons, VFW, Grange or just the knitting/quilting groups where people would meet and then create friendships. Today, many of these groups are dwindling almost to extinction. We are at the gym, working a second job, getting kids to various activities, spending time online....people are connecting for "Real" less and less.

I think its a good idea to ask yourself why you feel lonely and what is it that will soothe that you. Everyone gets lonely from time to time. There is being alone and then there is being lonely. You can be with a group of people and still be lonely?

I like this online dating stuff cause it is hard to meet other people. People here are looking for a partner..of one sort or another. That we have in common. If i meet someone here, chat online, chat on the phone and find them interesting..I want to meet them in personn. Otherwise the person becomes what you create in your head from what u read or interperted...not reality.

1/20/2008 7:10:33 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

spoilerbeast
Invermere, BC
age: 44

 If your interested in finding a healthy relationship ,you first need to understand what makes you tick. Then you will understand whom you'll probable attract and why. If you want the best tool that I know of for this to happen,I've resently purchased a book called. Keeping the love you find and it's written by Haville Hendrix. He has the best understanding of the dynamics of relationship I've ever read. It was referred to me from a friend who is a certifed Dr, of Phycology whom I've trusted for years .Good luck
1/20/2008 11:18:40 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

tinktoo
Pevely, MO
age: 49

 I am in the rank of divorce ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc......i think the older you get, and it usually happens gettin a divorce with a baggage, you just dont want to put your kids threw it...well i didnt .....but being lonely isnt all that bad.....i have alot of female an male friends....my two girls are grown and yes i still have the youngest at home but she is 20 and she is more like a room mate...she works, has a boyfriend, and she has her friends in an out....my life is not the lonely life like some out here.....being on the computer, even helps not being lonely......going shopping, reading books, watching your favorite tube....there is phone conversations that even takes up that space of being lonely.....you will no the older you get, if you are searching for your soulmate, it will all come natural to you....and these ten yrs of mine,,,,i havent found what i need...but i am still searching i will seek an find, cause i need someone in my later yrs to grow old with...wish you all good luck in the search...heads up smile on your face.....
1/20/2008 11:31:47 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

linder008
South Pittsburg, TN
age: 44

 Lonely?? I would call it not rushin....When i was young i jumped n too fast.. now I have been on my own for almost 6 years..I had to find and love me,If u can relate to what i mean....My kids are grown,I have a nine year old at home..I jus dont want to show him ..our home is a open door..so no i have not dated...6 years....just my son and I..But n the time i have been alone i have learned Loves is never rushed n too..its more than looks.Let Love find you... Yes the computer isa pass time..you can talk to alot of nice people here..Just dont look for that white knight to save you,Save yourself and all will be fine..good luck to all,may all your dreams come true..hugs and love Linda
1/20/2008 7:25:54 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

dtrail
Summerfield, FL
age: 50

 There are days when I do feel lonely. But I dont want or NEED a man to be with me all the time. I just wish I could find one that likes to do things with me and go places with me from time to time.
I think lonely is up to the individual. When I get to feeling that way, I get busy or go take a hike or kayak.
1/20/2008 7:42:09 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

tandygirl
Overgaard, AZ
age: 49

 Good one easytouch....you might just have something there! LOL
1/21/2008 5:55:47 AM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

marc2b4
Michigan, ND
age: 46

 Because it isn't easy, trusting and being willing to put yourself out there again, being vulnerable emotionally. Tough thing, at least for me.
1/22/2008 6:08:24 PM Why are there so many lonely people!!  

tomorrows
Irving, TX
age: 45

 I am alone but not lonely. There are so many people around that we can connect to if we wish. ::beer:
I joined this site to meet someone, but I have come to enjoy meeting all of you and now my circle of people I'VE come know has gotten wider.

Be unfortunely the world can be a cold place and people are not as friendly as they use to be and we find ourself being more protective of our feelings and life that letting others in can be hard....but than GOD for the internet, because you guys ROCK!!!!

WELCOME ALL BACK TO THE HUMAN RACE