Is forgiveness the hardest part?

6/14/2010 5:33:14 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Know i'm new here but i have a question.Is forgivness really that hard to give.I had a hard childhood and still hold my parents responsible,a friend told me forgiveness is the first step to inner healing.so has any one else had a problem with forgiveing some one? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
6/14/2010 5:46:47 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
catbrg Catlettsburg, KY age: 51	to me forgiving is the hard part to do. as it seem that you dont forget. I have learned to forget the past.some of that comes with help of old age lol.I was told that waswhat made me a drunk. I am now sober 26 years 6 months.I drank to hide from things and to be the life of the party.
6/14/2010 5:55:15 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Cat congradulations on your sobrity!
6/14/2010 6:07:05 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
catbrg Catlettsburg, KY age: 51	for giving every day is the hard part. drinking was easy to quite. you haveto work daily on forgiving. it can bedone.
6/14/2010 6:11:15 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Thank you cat, it just seems when i feel like i'm ready some thing comes up and all those old feelings flood back over me.I know it will happen, i just dont know when.
6/14/2010 7:17:03 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	Quote from catbrg: to me forgiving is the hard part to do. as it seem that you dont forget. I have learned to forget the past.some of that comes with help of old age lol.I was told that waswhat made me a drunk. I am now sober 26 years 6 months.I drank to hide from things and to be the life of the party. And now look at you! You are sober and your still the life of the party. You did not need to drink to be that. Forgiving can be hard. But you must remember, forgiving is for you. Forgetting, I didn't forget the wrongs that were done to me. But I do not feel the anger or the bitterness that I felt before when the person(s) or the incidents cross my mind. The hurt is lesser also. I've had to forgive a lot of things, and forgiveness is just letting go. You let go, so that God can take care of the situation and so you can move on with your life and be happy. God will help you forgive, just pray and ask Him to help you. He is faithful and just. [Edited 6/14/2010 7:18:14 AM ]
6/14/2010 7:24:55 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	hihappygirl, to forgive and forget is two different things , in my life time ive had to deal with both, to be quite honest i dont know if i really trully have done either. those are hard words to swallow and keep down, if you know what i mean , theres things thats happened to me that i can never tell anyone, so what did i do i wore a mask for situationds i didnt want to be in , kind of like sybol one could say, im not adying you do this it only covers up the problems, but for me to survive that was my soluation.
6/14/2010 7:32:12 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	Jul, I do also have things in my past that I do not speak of. I don't forget, either. But I did have to forgive. That's how you cope with it. Forgiveness does not let the other person/people off the hook, it just gives you release from it so you can move on with life happily. Also, you are correct, forgetting is not something that you can do so easily, if ever. Forgive and forget is only a cliche that people say. God asks you to forgive, as the Father forgives you. You do not totally forget, but the memories cause you less pain. Helps you move on. Now that I am repeating myself. I'll quit. Ask God to help you forgive, Jul.
6/14/2010 7:43:17 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	trust me puppy i have done just that, it was the question that brought back all the flooding in my mind.i should of just passed over this one , ididnt give happygirl any usuefull advice, so i will say no more. god knows and hes the one that has got me through this, or i wouldnt be here now,
6/14/2010 7:59:23 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Hi, Happy and welcome to this board. Have you seen this show Amish Grace? It's so good because it has helped me to understand more about forgiving another despite of heartaches. I agree that forgiving is hard but think about this. If it so hard to forgive then your heart has closed up hard. Once you forgive it will help you to open your heart up and let love back in as should. It will definitely help you in the long run. Watch the show if you have not........I promise you.........it will makes a world of difference as it has for me. Let it go, hon, otherwise it will destroy you little by little.
6/14/2010 8:05:55 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	I know for years it has eaten at me and the main person i have forgiven.(He has gone on to meet his judgement.) but for some reason its like i just cant make that step. every time i try to talk with my mom about it she goes into well you had it better than i did so...what am i to do.and yes i have talked to a counseler and pastor of our church, but to no avail.
6/14/2010 8:06:18 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	Nite is giving very good advice, happygirl. In fact, he reminded me of another phrase, "let go, let God" Nite, it's good to see you. Hope you had a nice trip.
6/14/2010 8:23:16 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
ms1958 Lobelville, TN age: 52	my mother had two children, I have an older half brother. she told me once she never wanted to be a mother and would have aborted us both but she was such a brittle diabetic. she said she loved me, but didn't want me. when my parents divorced my dad sent me to live with his parents. I felt like neither of them wanted me. I spoke to me mom only a few times and found out she died by the social security death index. my dad always said he couldn't take care of me but he remarried and I was never asked to come and live with him. My step brother and sisters saw my dad when I didn't get too. I hated my childhood.
6/14/2010 8:27:43 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Thank you every one not only for your advice but for letting me in your life a little.I know i'm going to find an answer it will just take time.
6/14/2010 8:36:39 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Quote from happygirl2930: I know for years it has eaten at me and the main person i have forgiven.(He has gone on to meet his judgement.) but for some reason its like i just cant make that step. every time i try to talk with my mom about it she goes into well you had it better than i did so...what am i to do.and yes i have talked to a counseler and pastor of our church, but to no avail. Honey, the only one who can truly forget is God. It would be wrong for you to try to bury your past. It only bottles you up inside, like a sleeping volcano. I did this for years and had a breakdown. I know how you feel about the pastor though. They are always wanting you to see the bright side of things in life. Well, for me, that is very hard because there have been a lot of bad things that have happened to me. At this point, I tend not to talk about them though. You can talk about things here though and feel free to.
6/14/2010 8:37:57 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	You can always break the cycle, dear. I did when I had my children........and, because of that........they are so much healthier in mind and soul. You'll be okay, Happy. Take small steps. Look for solace in your heart rather than with other people mom, church, etc.
6/14/2010 8:45:22 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	Quote from captainjul1: trust me puppy i have done just that, it was the question that brought back all the flooding in my mind.i should of just passed over this one , ididnt give happygirl any usuefull advice, so i will say no more. god knows and hes the one that has got me through this, or i wouldnt be here now, I believe you did give useful advice to happy. We've all been through things. Some of us terrible, horrendous things. That gives us the ability to help others. You hit the nail on the head with your last comment. Quote from Jul [God knows and He's the one that got me through this, or I wouldn't be here now]. But just think, Jul, He suffered it before we did. On the cross. He knows what we feel and where we are coming from. Just please do not shut yourself off.
6/14/2010 8:48:59 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55
6/14/2010 11:34:13 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
robert_p_s Lagrange, GA age: 26	I think there's two parts that are equally difficult. Forgivness and acceptance.
6/14/2010 11:36:07 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	And, welcome aboard.
6/14/2010 12:10:50 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Welcome, Robert!
6/14/2010 1:10:25 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
shyimp Burlington, VT age: 51	I went through the stages like anger, sadness and eventually acceptance and forgiveness. Will I forget, no, but it fades, in a way. When sad memories come up, I try to let it go by without really reacting. I will sometimes shed a tear or two but it does not engulf me like it use to. I hold on to the happy parts of my past. The hardest part is not to blame myself by thinking somehow I deserved it or was responsible for others' behavior.
6/14/2010 2:20:21 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from shyimp: I went through the stages like anger, sadness and eventually acceptance and forgiveness. Will I forget, no, but it fades, in a way. When sad memories come up, I try to let it go by without really reacting. I will sometimes shed a tear or two but it does not engulf me like it use to. I hold on to the happy parts of my past. The hardest part is not to blame myself by thinking somehow I deserved it or was responsible for others' behavior. Nicely said/written, Shy!
6/14/2010 3:36:04 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
polefrog Harriman, TN age: 53	Forgivness helps the forgiver....not the forgiven.... It's like hauling around a bag of rocks. Everytime you forgive something....it's like getting to throw away a rock! The load gets lighter for you! The person you are forgiving has their own bag of rocks. You are only in charge of your rocks, not theirs! You can only change you!
6/14/2010 3:40:55 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55
6/14/2010 3:48:51 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Excellent analogy, teacher!
6/14/2010 3:51:43 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	thank you all, for putting your worth in , i myself know i did nothing to deserve anything that happened to me ,its taken all these yrs, to come to that , now to go any further its going to take another life time to get just a dent in my life, yes it was that horrible, and i dnt want to talk about it, to open up old scares, its enoughto know you are all here if ever i do .
6/14/2010 4:11:06 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	We are, and we love you Jul.
6/14/2010 4:52:04 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
polefrog Harriman, TN age: 53	Don't forget to forgive yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest.
6/14/2010 5:06:19 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Sometimes, I feel I deserved the abuse I got. Does anyone ever feel that way? But, people will ask me what I did that deserved to be beat, but I can't tell them. Maybe I was a bad kid.
6/14/2010 5:08:36 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	No, Joni, no one deserves a beat for any reason. You know, I watch Oprah's today how she interviewed four convicted sex offenders. Very powerful statements these men made and it's all about trust and vulnerability of ones for anyone to take advantage or abuse them. Shuddering moments!
6/14/2010 5:11:20 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
polefrog Harriman, TN age: 53	I was hearing impaired........they kept checking my IQ and busting my butt! Funny how people think. When I grew up, I got to save a hearing impaired kid whose parents thought he was dumb! Karma
6/14/2010 5:23:22 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
shyimp Burlington, VT age: 51	Quote from joni1955: Sometimes, I feel I deserved the abuse I got. Does anyone ever feel that way? But, people will ask me what I did that deserved to be beat, but I can't tell them. Maybe I was a bad kid. Yes, I struggle with that feeling and thought too.
6/14/2010 5:30:45 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
polefrog Harriman, TN age: 53	Quote from shyimp: Yes, I struggle with that feeling and thought too. The things that you have gone through allow you to understand others who have been there and to have compassion for them! (and you are using what you have been given)
6/14/2010 5:31:27 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	joni and polefrog i dont care what the reasons are they you got beatings and wippings no child ,you hear me no child should ever get a beatiing, for something he or she did, as a child you dont know that was right or wrong all the time, i say give the parents all the beatings we got everytime they said or did something wrong in there lifetime, lets see who comes out standing. i never wanted kids after what i had to live with day in and day out, but god blessed me with three wounderful kids whom i wouldnt hurt for the world, now there adults i still step in and see whats going on , i stilldont trust men with my grangbabys as far as i can throw thm,i know life isnt fair, and i know there are kids as im typing this somewere near or far thats is getting a beating as i say this. i would give anything to take there place right now , just to relieve the pain and suffering for one child , out of a million or more , i pray to god put i believe god cant save them all that was born to these familes. i remember when my dad would come home at night and start beating on my mom , those are the memories that no one can erase from my head ever.
6/14/2010 7:14:27 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 56	Quote from polefrog: Don't forget to forgive yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest. I almost posted about the same time you posted this... I have a hard time forgiving myself
6/14/2010 7:46:21 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Quote from shyimp: Yes, I struggle with that feeling and thought too. I guess the hardest thing is that I feel like I owe the whole world an apology for everything I say and do. I am always second guessing things, not sure if anything I do is right. I used to inflict my own punishments but that is not an option now.
6/14/2010 7:47:59 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
puppyluv47 Hillsboro, OH age: 46	Julie, you saw what my boys saw. They saw me being beaten. They saw me knocked unconscious on the floor... They also were abused, although it was done where I wouldn't know about it. They were threatened it would get worse if they told me. But you have to let go. You have to forgive, for yourself, so that you can heal. So that you can move on. I always made sure that my kids could speak freely to me about it. I wouldn't let them shut down inside. When they talked, I listened. It was a healing process for all of us. We still have scars, and we still hurt. But they always knew they could come to me.
6/14/2010 7:50:07 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
catbrg Catlettsburg, KY age: 51	you dont need to say sorry to the world. the world needs to say sorry to you.for not stepping inn and stoping the pain.
6/14/2010 9:14:23 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Quote from polefrog: Forgivness helps the forgiver....not the forgiven.... It's like hauling around a bag of rocks. Everytime you forgive something....it's like getting to throw away a rock! The load gets lighter for you! The person you are forgiving has their own bag of rocks. You are only in charge of your rocks, not theirs! You can only change you! Pole, you are so right and it was a wonderful way how you put that out there. I know it's like this in my head, but I can't get it to reach my heart. Does that make sense? I think the pain is just too strong and makes me hold on to that bag of rocks. I just hope that time will help me let go of it. In the meantime- it just stinks and hurts like hell. (Excuse the french )
6/14/2010 9:15:21 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
ms1958 Lobelville, TN age: 52	people who victimize other are using control to make them think that they did something. When i was raped I was 9 and what 9 year old does something. That is what made me want to be a social worker. then i saw fear in people who didn't know what to expect with illnesses so i went to nursing school. i was my own biggest afflicter gaining weight made me not be a victim of any sexual nature but then i became a victim of other abuse with names and sounds a man who was so mean to me as we were growing up asked me to forgive him and i said no. but i asked him to raise his young son so that he didn't do what the man had done. i didn't feel bad in saying no. i didn't forgive him and me living a better life is my greatest joy.
6/14/2010 9:21:24 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Quote from joni1955: I guess the hardest thing is that I feel like I owe the whole world an apology for everything I say and do. I am always second guessing things, not sure if anything I do is right. I used to inflict my own punishments but that is not an option now. Joni, I know exactly how you feel. This is just the story of my life. Call me Ms "I'm sorry"- it't terrible. My friend gets all angry, because I keep apologizing all the time. Even when I know it's NOT my fault, if the other person doesn't admit to it being his/ her fault or if they talk good enough, they can switch it around so I doubt myself and think "Well, it probably WAS your fault". It's such a vicious cycle. That goes so far as my husband cheated and lied to me and I thought it was because it was my fault. Who could love someone like me anyways, he had such a hard time with my disability, he deserved something better anyways, had to put up with someone like me, blah blah blah.... Is that nuts or what? Again, I know in my head it's wrong, but my heart can't catch on to it. Counseling and all- I can't seem to shake that. Any ideas?
6/14/2010 9:35:55 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Wish I did have answers. I even granted my husband a divorce because after all I put him through with my emotional problems, I figured he deserved it. We were still close though. I have a neighbor who will actually apologize for apologizing when someone tells her not to be sorry for something. I do the same thing. It drives everyone crazy.
6/14/2010 9:47:52 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Quote from joni1955: Wish I did have answers. I even granted my husband a divorce because after all I put him through with my emotional problems, I figured he deserved it. We were still close though. I have a neighbor who will actually apologize for apologizing when someone tells her not to be sorry for something. I do the same thing. It drives everyone crazy. Aaarrgghh.....
6/14/2010 9:57:37 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	i did nothing to deserve what i got from my dad , uncles, whatever man if you want to call them call that,i wasnt even in kindergarten when the sexual abuse started, i didnt have a mom to go to and talk about, to her it was hush , hush, you didnt talk about it , she would hide her feelings all the way with us kids, so yes i had to keep it bottled up inside,when i grew to be a teenager i turned to drugs and alchocal, i was on my own at the age of 16 coming and going as i pleased they didnt care as long as i paid my rent went to work it was all good, so you see i never had a half normal life it was taken from such an early age,i know ms. was raped at an early age i feel for her i really do , but imagine everytime your dad came home he wanted you to sit on his lap , and i dont need to tell you what for, it got to the point where i would hide when someone would say dads home , for me to survive another drunken night i tried to outsmart him, didnt last long , he would come looking for me and yes he would find me omg, is all i can say,
6/14/2010 10:01:21 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	Quote from captainjul1: i did nothing to deserve what i got from my dad , uncles, whatever man if you want to call them call that,i wasnt even in kindergarten when the sexual abuse started, i didnt have a mom to go to and talk about, to her it was hush , hush, you didnt talk about it , she would hide her feelings all the way with us kids, so yes i had to keep it bottled up inside,when i grew to be a teenager i turned to drugs and alchocal, i was on my own at the age of 16 coming and going as i pleased they didnt care as long as i paid my rent went to work it was all good, so you see i never had a half normal life it was taken from such an early age,i know ms. was raped at an early age i feel for her i really do , but imagine everytime your dad came home he wanted you to sit on his lap , and i dont need to tell you what for, it got to the point where i would hide when someone would say dads home , for me to survive another drunken night i tried to outsmart him, didnt last long , he would come looking for me and yes he would find me omg, is all i can say, i wish i didnt write this omg
6/14/2010 10:04:28 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Quote from captainjul1: i wish i didnt write this omg Captain- I cannot imagine the pain you must have felt. I appreciate you telling us this. It helps, because sometimes we think that our situation is the worse out there. You just proved that there is ALWAYS someone who has a cross to bear that is heavier than our own. You are strong- you came out on top, so maybe that means there is hope yet for each of us. I am sending you a big hug!!!
6/14/2010 10:15:35 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51 online now!	thank you northinlake. i,still feel i should of kept that to myself,
6/14/2010 10:25:20 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Isn't this why we are here- so we can "let it out" and receive compassion from other peope? We care for each other here and it helps so much to have people like you share their stories. Don't feel bad, feel loved instead!
6/14/2010 10:26:02 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from captainjul1: i did nothing to deserve what i got from my dad , uncles, whatever man if you want to call them call that,i wasnt even in kindergarten when the sexual abuse started, i didnt have a mom to go to and talk about, to her it was hush , hush, you didnt talk about it , she would hide her feelings all the way with us kids, so yes i had to keep it bottled up inside,when i grew to be a teenager i turned to drugs and alchocal, i was on my own at the age of 16 coming and going as i pleased they didnt care as long as i paid my rent went to work it was all good, so you see i never had a half normal life it was taken from such an early age,i know ms. was raped at an early age i feel for her i really do , but imagine everytime your dad came home he wanted you to sit on his lap , and i dont need to tell you what for, it got to the point where i would hide when someone would say dads home , for me to survive another drunken night i tried to outsmart him, didnt last long , he would come looking for me and yes he would find me omg, is all i can say, What amazingly strong person you are, Capt. Never apologize for what you say/write.
6/14/2010 11:44:16 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 56	Quote from nothingfake: Joni, I know exactly how you feel. This is just the story of my life. Call me Ms "I'm sorry"- it't terrible. My friend gets all angry, because I keep apologizing all the time. Even when I know it's NOT my fault, if the other person doesn't admit to it being his/ her fault or if they talk good enough, they can switch it around so I doubt myself and think "Well, it probably WAS your fault". It's such a vicious cycle. That goes so far as my husband cheated and lied to me and I thought it was because it was my fault. Who could love someone like me anyways, he had such a hard time with my disability, he deserved something better anyways, had to put up with someone like me, blah blah blah.... Is that nuts or what? Again, I know in my head it's wrong, but my heart can't catch on to it. Counseling and all- I can't seem to shake that. Any ideas? This is exactly how I feel... and sorry to say, it drives friends and family away
6/14/2010 11:50:03 PM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Yes, it does. I have no contact with much of anyone in my family. My brother plays the games I do on facebook and will send me an occasional message when he can't contact my mother, but that is it. I didn't even get to go to my dad's funeral. No one offered me a ride and it was in NY.
6/15/2010 4:55:59 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Today i sat down and talked to my mom.made her coffee the whole house was quiet and i told her everything. from the beatings she never noticed cuz she was drunk,to the sexual abuse i suffered at the hands of her father.i cried and she cried she also went through the same things but today she listened i think we r off to a good start i think i just really needed to tell her and tell her how i felt.
6/15/2010 5:00:59 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
catbrg Catlettsburg, KY age: 51	glad for happy girl. may this be the start to rebuilding you friendship
6/15/2010 5:10:02 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	Thank you cat, i really hope it is.
6/15/2010 5:27:37 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	I'm so GLAD for you Happygirl, i'm glad to hear your mother listened while you talked. Hopefully this is a new beginnig in your relationship with your mother. [Edited 6/15/2010 5:29:03 AM ]
6/15/2010 6:00:37 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
gordonjeffers Auburn, WA age: 57	Forgiveness has always come easily for me, so it's hard for me to understand why anyone would have trouble with this. Perhaps I'm just too forgiving?
6/15/2010 6:13:53 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
happygirl2930 Columbus, GA age: 29	maybe so but i think it's different for every one.also i think it's the offense if some one hurt your feelings it might be easier than forgiving some one who abused you. i just think it differs.
6/15/2010 6:50:43 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	Quote from captainjul1: i wish i didnt write this o'mg Jul, i know you wish you didn't write what you wrote but mabe subconsciously you wanted to. That was a reprehensible act but like Utah stated..."You are a very strong woman". May i say you are an AMAZING woman also.
6/15/2010 6:57:58 AM	Is forgiveness the hardest part?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Good thing you expressed your feelings to your mom, Happy. That surely needed to be said. My mom always made me feel guilty for opening up to her by creating guilt trips so I let it go. Pole mentioned there are two things you must do forgive and accept. Well, shoot.....for me, acceptance is too hard. It's like accepting them for their behavior? but then maybe I should accept for what had happened and move on after the forgiving part. Yeah, that would be a much better approach for me.

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