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6/19/2010 5:09:57 AM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Why is it that some guys ask for your phone number in the second contact email, then get totally bent out of shape when you refuse, they just 'can't understand why'
I am sorry but I am just not comfortable giving my digits out that quickly, am I just behind times here?



[Edited 6/19/2010 5:19:09 AM ]

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6/19/2010 6:46:17 AM What is up with this?  

imagoodone4sure
Over 1,000 Posts (1,408)
Xenia, OH
age: 50


I feel the same way. I never give my number to anyone that I don't know much about. Too much fraud and scams happening out there.

This is one reason I don't like getting to involved with anyone who doesn't live near me. I prefer to email for a little bit to ask some pertinent question and if all is going well there, then a face to face meeting in a public place can be arranged to see if there is any type of a connection and if there is then I might give my number out.

Relying solely on emails and or chats never reveals the true person or their intentions towards you. It is very easy to say things while being masked by a computer.

Can one truly get to know someone via computers and phones alone?

No-one can be too careful these days.

6/19/2010 7:15:16 AM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


I agree with Imagoodone, it takes me a minute to get the feel of what the guy is about. I always figure if they move that fast they are probably looking for a bootie call. I don't like to wait too long either, as soon as I feel comfortable I want to meet because you can chat forever on the computer but you could just be spinning your wheels until you meet and see if the connection is there.

I am here to meet people not play games. If I am attracted to someone I usually like to meet within a month.

6/19/2010 7:43:43 AM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Yep same here, I have no problem giving out my phone number even on here BUT I have to have a feel for the person first. And that happens with a little bit of time not in the first 2 emails. I thought I was missing something somewhere lol.

6/19/2010 8:53:33 AM What is up with this?  

lookingforluv84
Over 1,000 Posts (1,646)
New London, OH
age: 44


Yes I have to agree with all of you and I dont feel that after a couple of emails that a face to face is way to early. Is it? help me here. I have a guy only talked on here a couple times and know wants to meet. Just a little to fast I think. Yes the number thing is another I want to know why they get mad as well. I have to agree that it must be a bootie call.

6/19/2010 9:03:11 AM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


I met a guy too soon once and it went terrible because I was not comfortable. Just explain you have to get to know them a little through email and then maybe phone calls. That's the way I handle it. If they don't like it after you explain yourself they are not very considerate and maybe its best you don't meet. That's my opinion anyway.

How do you do a friend request?

6/19/2010 9:07:59 AM What is up with this?  

lookingforluv84
Over 1,000 Posts (1,646)
New London, OH
age: 44


go to their profile and under the picture it has email winks and friend request and just click on friend request and it will send it to them....thanks for the help

6/19/2010 9:26:05 AM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


I have no problem meeting someone rather quickly, few emails and meet in a public place, preferably have a phone convo before hand. Of course there has to be a certain comfort level but you get a feel pretty quickly I think. The main reason I don't like to drag this on in here for a long time before meeting is, you built a certain image of the person you are talking with and unless you meet you really don't know if that is just a imagination or.. what you hope he/she will be like.Plus I have found some make this their fantasy world and drag the talking out forever and a day because they really have no intention of ever meeting anyone in the 'real world'. I am here to meet someone in person to date/relationship.
Also consider this... lets say you go to church, then one day this guy goes also, you see him there every so often but never talk to him, yet you find him appealing. One sunday after church he asks if you want to go to brunch, would you say absolutely not because you don't know him or anything about him. Or do you go by your impression and say ok sure?

6/19/2010 1:18:07 PM What is up with this?  
iaminohio
Over 1,000 Posts (1,353)
Cleveland, OH
age: 59


Say absolutely not. And let him read your profile, that place where you label yourself Bullheaded German

He'll love it!


6/19/2010 1:25:53 PM What is up with this?  

waitingnolonger
Over 1,000 Posts (1,602)
Elyria, OH
age: 39


Quote from goods61:
Why is it that some guys ask for your phone number in the second contact email, then get totally bent out of shape when you refuse, they just 'can't understand why'
I am sorry but I am just not comfortable giving my digits out that quickly, am I just behind times here?



No, Goodie, you're absolutely justified in not giving out information like that early on. I certainly wouldn't do it. Some people just want to rush the whole process, and this is definitely something that should not be rushed!

6/19/2010 1:37:03 PM What is up with this?  

phina1
Over 2,000 Posts (3,368)
Walton, KY
age: 49


Quote from goods61:
Why is it that some guys ask for your phone number in the second contact email, then get totally bent out of shape when you refuse, they just 'can't understand why.


Try to think of it this way. They quickly revealed their true character.
Just imagine how bent out of shape they'd get over a legitimate issue.
Stick to your guns girl.

6/19/2010 1:39:48 PM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Your absolutely correct phina, there are people that have my phone number but that was because I choose to give it to them and I am comfortable with them, not because they tried to bully me into it.

6/19/2010 3:10:47 PM What is up with this?  

nobs4u
Over 1,000 Posts (1,295)
Mansfield, OH
age: 49


All this talk about "gettin a FEEL" for a guy,and I didnt feel a thing!What's a feller to do? I never get angry over rejection,Lord no,I would spend half my life ticked off!I DO like to talk on the phone tho,I have been told I have a nice voice,AND I always have a paper bag handy (with strategically placed holes),in case they're not drunk enough for me to look GOOD when they meet me,always looking out for my ladies.....

6/19/2010 3:23:40 PM What is up with this?  

newdirection6
Over 2,000 Posts (2,435)
Wellsville, OH
age: 56


Well I turned a new leaf over. I started to smoke, do drugs, and drink. I will see where this goes now. I am no longer a good girl

6/19/2010 3:39:31 PM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Well nobs so do I and talking on the phone does give another dimension about a person but for crying out loud, after a hi how are you email? I think not.

6/19/2010 4:02:00 PM What is up with this?  

nobs4u
Over 1,000 Posts (1,295)
Mansfield, OH
age: 49


I usually offer my number first and tell them they can call me AND block their number if they are not yet comfortable.You would not believe how many 2 am"I'm drunk and just wanted to talk to someone"calls I get(not enough!!!)For some odd reason I seem to have a knack for putting people at ease and I listen to instructions very well,I have been told to "lose my number"and I DO,got NO time for games,tho I ALWAYS have time for fun!

6/19/2010 4:06:22 PM What is up with this?  

newdirection6
Over 2,000 Posts (2,435)
Wellsville, OH
age: 56


Well I'm drunk and need someone to talk to. I guess I started drinkin too dam early today.

6/19/2010 7:31:35 PM What is up with this?  

b2bsomeone
Columbus, OH
age: 36


no your right thats way to soon 2 give out digits.

6/19/2010 8:33:34 PM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


Quote from goods61:
I have no problem meeting someone rather quickly, few emails and meet in a public place, preferably have a phone convo before hand. Of course there has to be a certain comfort level but you get a feel pretty quickly I think. The main reason I don't like to drag this on in here for a long time before meeting is, you built a certain image of the person you are talking with and unless you meet you really don't know if that is just a imagination or.. what you hope he/she will be like.Plus I have found some make this their fantasy world and drag the talking out forever and a day because they really have no intention of ever meeting anyone in the 'real world'. I am here to meet someone in person to date/relationship.
Also consider this... lets say you go to church, then one day this guy goes also, you see him there every so often but never talk to him, yet you find him appealing. One sunday after church he asks if you want to go to brunch, would you say absolutely not because you don't know him or anything about him. Or do you go by your impression and say ok sure?


Meeting someone at church would be a little different. I would probably give him the benefit of the doubt considering he is at church, that might not always make a difference in the end but for the moment I would consider going to brunch with him. That would be waaaay different then meeting someone online...for me anyway. Know what I mean?

Now nobs would probably invite you to his basement or some other dark secluded place...you gotta watch him.



[Edited 6/19/2010 8:35:25 PM ]

6/20/2010 4:15:18 AM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Yeah I know what you mean, it's funny though depending on where we meet a person our trust level is different eventhough the place really doesn't ensure they are great people. I think most of us are just wired that way.

Dungeon nobs??? ahmmmmmm nobs nobs nobs.. so not gonna ask

6/20/2010 10:06:43 AM What is up with this?  

smilingbob63
Over 1,000 Posts (1,578)
Barberton, OH
age: 46


Just because they sit in a church doesnt make them a christian....
Just as if you sit in a garage makes you a car !

6/20/2010 10:08:12 AM What is up with this?  

nobs4u
Over 1,000 Posts (1,295)
Mansfield, OH
age: 49


Quote from goods61:
Yeah I know what you mean, it's funny though depending on where we meet a person our trust level is different eventhough the place really doesn't ensure they are great people. I think most of us are just wired that way.

Dungeon nobs??? ahmmmmmm nobs nobs nobs.. so not gonna ask

I will have you know it is TASTEFULLY decorated with the skins of my previous vict...uh,er,I mean ANIMAL skins,(fake one's ,for all you peta people),and I let the remaining living out every coupla days....

6/20/2010 12:29:57 PM What is up with this?  

newdirection6
Over 2,000 Posts (2,435)
Wellsville, OH
age: 56


Quote from smilingbob63:
Just because they sit in a church doesnt make them a christian....
Just as if you sit in a garage makes you a car !
You got that right. I met a man at church he was the preacher. He said he was single till we went out then he confessed he was still married. Well now that was strange. I sent him back home.

6/20/2010 12:34:50 PM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


That's why i used the church example, we are very quick to judge with online people, yet the creep could be sitting in church and I think overall people would trust that a lot more. I am not saying don't use caution but don't let fear run your life, use your smarts in all situations.

6/20/2010 1:04:17 PM What is up with this?  

freddy737
Novelty, OH
age: 59


Could it be; hardwired "hunter" mentality-----no number; no dinner? You need a number,(step 2) to progress to steps 3 thru 10(?), to hopefully complete a transaction; = date. Men are expected to do most things women ask for, and quickly. Why would meeting new women be any different? Being in the position of asking for a date, requires a way to do it; a phone call being the most universally acceptable, 21st century method. (expedience is paramount)
However, and in conclusion, DO NOT GIVE OUT listed landlines, until comfortable, as they are connected to your address.(and google earth, for a lovely picture of your home and yard). Hope everybody's havin' a good summer.

6/20/2010 1:57:56 PM What is up with this?  

phina1
Over 2,000 Posts (3,368)
Walton, KY
age: 49


Quote from goods61:
That's why i used the church example, we are very quick to judge with online people,
yet the creep could be sitting in church and I think overall people would trust that a lot more.
I am not saying don't use caution but don't let fear run your life, use your smarts in all situations.


- Well said

6/20/2010 4:08:52 PM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


I judge others by what they portray because that is the only thing I have to go on. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt (online and off) until they prove me wrong. Yea, be careful.

6/20/2010 4:28:01 PM What is up with this?  
thinkinlarge21
Berlin Center, OH
age: 54


Goods I agree I talk a while before I consitter giveing it out. You need to feel sucure frist Or aleast ok with doing so If they get mad than that is a sign PS Spell ck LOL

6/21/2010 2:01:07 PM What is up with this?  

redford2go
Canal Fulton, OH
age: 64


I usually wait for the lady to suggest a phone conversagtion first; and then give her my number, if she wants to talk. I am a nice guy, but shy. I never try to push. If a guy has to push himself onto a lady, I don't think there is much hope for a truly genuine connection.

6/21/2010 2:16:09 PM What is up with this?  

captainjul1
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,735)
Columbus, OH
age: 51 online now!




6/21/2010 2:17:23 PM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


Quote from redford2go:
I usually wait for the lady to suggest a phone conversagtion first; and then give her my number, if she wants to talk. I am a nice guy, but shy. I never try to push. If a guy has to push himself onto a lady, I don't think there is much hope for a truly genuine connection.


You have to put forth some effort (not pushy) to let the lady know you are interested. If I send an email to someone first, showing my interest, I want some effort in return, like sending me an email (not just answering mine)or asking for my number. I know its hard, its hard for me...it has to be give and take or I will think someone is not truly interested. You may miss out on something special...and who knows when an attraction will happen again.

Even if you are shy, you have to do it...I am shy too when it comes to relating to a man romantically...(until I get to know them of course).



[Edited 6/21/2010 2:20:01 PM ]

6/21/2010 7:58:15 PM What is up with this?  

snides20
Over 1,000 Posts (1,108)
Mingo Junction, OH
age: 28


i'm sorry goods did u have to annouce me email to everyone?

6/24/2010 9:07:18 AM What is up with this?  
loava
Aurora, OH
age: 33


Hello Goods, doesn't this go under the statement Why do men......? But you can say it on this post just not on mine huh. I was insulting men on mine but your not insulting them here. HMMMMMMMM!

6/24/2010 9:11:05 AM What is up with this?  

lookingforluv84
Over 1,000 Posts (1,646)
New London, OH
age: 44


That is what I said about us having a good time here in our posts. We love ya Goods

6/24/2010 9:29:22 AM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


Well you might read my post again..... you must have missed the SOME that is very clearly in my opening post. The word S O M E makes very clear that it does not apply to the whole gender.

6/24/2010 2:07:40 PM What is up with this?  

musclecarmania
Over 1,000 Posts (1,973)
Franklin, OH
age: 51


Excellent point goods

6/24/2010 5:36:08 PM What is up with this?  

goods61
Over 1,000 Posts (1,130)
Euclid, OH
age: 49


So sorry snides...i promise the next one I'll keep all to myself